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    Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes, Part 2

    | IN, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (I work in the shoe department of a retail chain. I notice two customers walking through the aisles; both are wearing extremely shabby shoes.)

    Me: “Hey guys, can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Nah, we’re just looking.”

    (I walk away. Moments later, I see both guys heading towards the front door. This time, one is wearing a pair of sparkling white, brand new shoes. Knowing exactly where those shoes are in the department, I find a box containing the customer’s dirty sneakers. I grab the box and chase them down as they’re walking out to the parking lot.)

    Me: “Hey guys, did you forget something?”

    Customer: “Um… no? What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, if you’re going to steal shoes, don’t you at least want to keep your old ones?”

    (I open the box to show him.)

    Customer: “Oh, steal? No, I was just going to pay for them.”

    Me: “I get it. You thought the cash registers were outside? That’s a common mistake! I’ll escort you to a check-out line.”

    (I’ll give the customer credit; he did pay for the shoes. He probably didn’t enjoy them as much, since he didn’t get them for free.)

    Related:
    Planning To Walk A Mile In Another Man’s Shoes

    Talking Non-Cents In The Dollar Store

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

    (It’s a busy Saturday, and both our cash registers are lined up with customers. A woman is stood next to the line-up, clearing her throat and trying to get my attention. She finally shoves her way to the cash, ahead of the line-up.)

    Customer: “I need to return all these stickers. I was charged $7, when they’re only supposed to be $2!”

    (I’d normally send her to the back of the line, but at this point it will be faster just to serve her and get her out of the way.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that, sometimes when we’re busy a cashier can miss a mistake like that. I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I don’t have my receipt! I shouldn’t have to keep my receipt; you made the mistake!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. There has been an issue lately of people trying to return items they didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a thief? You charged me $5 extra per sticker, and I bought ten stickers! Give me my money!”

    Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry. I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. If you’d like to wait a few minutes, my manager will be back from her break. Honestly, she’s only going to tell you the same thing, however.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous, I’m not waiting around for anyone! You’re wasting my time; now give me my money back! This happens all the time here! You guys didn’t ask for a receipt the last time! I’m a paying customer! I bought a bunch of these stickers before, and the same thing happened!”

    Me: “If this has happened to you with this item before, why didn’t you confirm they were ringing in at the correct price the second time?”

    (The woman turns beet red. Without saying anything, she throws the stack of stickers at me and storms out the door, shoving past people as she goes.)

    Next Customer: “They really need to give you kids hazard pay for this s***.”

    Turned The Problem Right Around

    | IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling [tech support]. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, the mouse that came with my computer is defective; it is not working right.”

    Me: “I am sorry to hear that; how exactly is the mouse defective?”

    Customer: “When I move the mouse right, the pointer goes left. When I move the mouse left, the pointer goes right.”

    Me: “Okay, when you look down at the mouse, there is one cable sticking out of the mouse, right?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Is that cable facing toward you or away from you?”

    Customer: “The cable in the mouse is facing toward me.”

    Me: “Let’s try this; please turn the mouse around so that the cable is facing away from you.”

    Customer: “It’s working now!”

    Fabricate An Excuse Not To

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

    Customer: “Could you?”

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