Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,305 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    The Secret Is In The Sauce

    , | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink

    (We moved to America because my dad’s work was transported to a new port. He is very bad with English, so many hilarious moments ensued when he buys food. At the moment, this fast food restaurant is heavily marketing one of its burgers. My dad decides he wants to try one.)

    Cashier: “Hello, how may I help you today?”

    Dad: “Yes, I would like the Big and Nasty Burger, please!”

    Cashier: “Excuse me?”

    Dad: “The Big and Nasty Burger!”

    Cashier: “Um, do you mean the Big and Tasty Burger, sir?”

    Dad: “Yes, that’s what I said! The Big and Nasty!”

    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3

    | Vestavia, AL, USA | Books & Reading, Top

    (A customer approaches me with a box set of the Twilight novels.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a gift for my 13 year old granddaughter and I think she would like these. My wife said to look at them. Don’t they promote abstinence?”

    Me: “Well, sort of. The two main characters do end up sleeping together in the final book, though they are married. There’s some uncomfortable gore, though. I wouldn’t recommend it for a 13 year old.”

    Customer: *confused* “I was told these would be great for her. What kind of gore do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, the girl ends up getting pregnant with a half-vampire baby and, er, the male main character sort of rips it out of her with his teeth.”

    Customer: *drops books in horror* “That’s horrific! And these are for teenage girls? Why would people read that?”

    Me: “I wonder the same thing myself, sir.”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    Computer See, Computer Do

    | Dublin, Ireland | Technology

    Customer: “So, I bought this printer from you and set it all up. My computer keeps saying ‘printer not found’.”

    Me: “Well, that doesn’t sound right. Could you tell me what you have tried so far?”

    Customer: “Well, I turned the screen towards the printer, but the computer still keeps telling me that it can’t find the printer…”

    The Devil You Know

    | New York, USA | Religion, Top

    (I am getting ready to wash a resident’s open wound. While I am putting on my gloves, the resident sees that I am wearing a ring that marks me as a member of a certain Christian sect. It is a sect that many other Christians do not consider to be Christian, and there is a fair bit of prejudice towards us.)

    Resident: “Is there anyone else who could do this?”

    Me: “[Coworker] is the only other person on the unit today qualified to do this. Is something wrong?”

    Resident: “Your ring. I don’t want to be touched by one of you demons. You’re a sex-crazed cult.”

    Me: “I am sorry you feel that way, ma’am. If you’re uncomfortable with me, I can certainly get [coworker].”

    Resident: “I’m so glad you’re here. Her lifestyle is just so sex-crazed and evil. It’s frankly un-Christian!”

    Coworker: “You do know that she is a virgin who has never smoked or drank in her life and carries a picture of Christ in her wallet, right?”

    Resident: *speechless*

    Coworker: “Oh, and one more thing. I’m an atheist, I live with a man I’m not married to, and I have three kids.”

    Customer Service Speaks Your Language

    | Clearwater, FL, USA | Rude & Risque

    (A customer calls on phone asking for directions.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need to pick up my friend getting off the bus depot. Where are you located?

    Me: “We are 1/2 mile east of [road], across the street from [sports bar].”

    Customer: “What’s that? Could you spell that for me?”

    (I proceed to spell the name of the establishment.)

    Customer: “Oh, [sports bar]. You should have just said ‘boobies’! That would have been much faster.”


    Page 963/1,971First...961962963964965...Last