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    Having Funion With Food

    , | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    (I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

    Customer: *repeats veggie order*

    (I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

    Me: “It’s really okay.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

    You Need The Male Order Catalogue

    | Des Moines, IA, USA |

    (I work at a retail store as a tech person. We also work the sales floor. A lady walks in and and I go over to help her.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you look for anything?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a husband.”

    Me: “What does he look like?”

    Customer: “No, I’m looking for a husband!”

    Live Wires Are Stupid Magnets

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have these wires that are red, black, and white, coming out of my drywall in my garage. I touched them and they did not appear live. I need to do something with them so I can patch the wall.”

    Me: “Okay, we can get some caps for you and some electrical tape. Just cap each one individually and wrap them individually with the tape and
    you can tuck them back into the wall without any issues.”

    Customer: “Should I test them to see if they are live? Should I touch them to my tongue?”

    Me: “No!”

    Schrödinger’s Whipped Cream

    | Scranton, PA, USA |

    (This customer orders a hot drink, which is served in a regular paper cup. You can’t see the drink through it.)

    Customer: “I asked for whipped cream on my drink.”

    Me: “I know. I made sure there was whipped cream.”

    Customer: “But, I can’t see it.”

    Me: “Well, that’s because it’s inside the cup.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Trust Me, You’re (Not) A Doctor

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    Me: “Hello, this is ***** Healthcare line. What can I help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m calling because my son just ate a bunch of ants.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? Your son ate ants?”

    Caller: “Yes! I was wondering if I need to take him to the hospital and see a doctor.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I don’t think you need to worry. I don’t think the ants will make him sick, but I advise that he doesn’t eat any more of them.”

    Caller: “Well, I gave him some ant killer to get rid of them.”

    Caller’s friend: “Get him to the emergency room, now!”


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