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    Never Bend To Suggestions

    | Moose Jaw, SK, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive-thru at a popular fast-food restaurant. The current employee initiative is to suggest hot beverages to customers.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]. Would you like to try a hot chocolate?”

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, NO. NO. NO.”

    Me: “Okay. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “All right, I’ll have a hot chocolate.”

    Gift Cards, Derp, Derpa, Gift Cards

    | Medford, OR, USA | Money

    (The phone rings and it is a customer wanting to know about gift cards. We are running a promotion where if you buy $100, you get a $25 bonus card.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Are you doing something with gift cards?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I explain the promotion.)

    Caller: “How much is a good amount for two people to eat?”

    Me: “A $50 gift card would probably cover two people.”

    Caller: “Well, I need to buy them for two separate couples, so I will need $400 in gift cards. What do I get?”

    Me: *ignoring the incorrect math* “You would get four $25 bonus cards.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “For every $100 you spend, you get an extra $25 dollar gift card.”

    Caller: “For what? What do I do?”

    Me: “What is your question exactly?”

    Caller: “I don’t know! You’re the one who said something about gift cards!”

    I Think We’ve Found The Grinch

    | Stayton, OR, USA | Bizarre

    (I am a courtesy clerk and volunteered to work on Christmas. While getting the carts from the parking lot, a man who is in his mid-20s is exiting to the store.)

    Me: “Happy holidays, sir.”

    Customer: *turns his head, flashes an evil grin, laughs maniacally, and continues walking to the car*

    Coworker: “I’m scared for you.”

    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Money

    Customer: “Can I have a pack of [brand] cigarettes?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s $5.51.”

    Customer: “Are these the dollar-off ones?”

    (I look behind me. There are no dollar-off deals right now.)

    Me: “No, sorry, there’s no sale on that kind.”

    Customer: “That sign says ‘Save 30 cents on two packs.’”

    Me: “Yeah, but you have to buy two packs.”

    Customer: “Then will I save a dollar?”

    Me: “No, you’d save thirty cents.”

    Customer: “Why wouldn’t I save a dollar?”

    Me: “Because the sale is for thirty cents?”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…”

    Related:
    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

    A Not Always Right Customer: The Winning Definition Is…

    | Not Always Right Definition | Announcements

    Earlier this week, we asked you what you thought the best definition of a customer that is Not Always Right was from the submissions on our Facebook page.

    The tally is in! Click the “more…” link to find out which was the most popular definition: (more…)


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