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    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 4

    | New York City, NY, USA |

    (I’m at the computer putting an order in when I notice a guest at a table adjacent to me behaving oddly.)

    Customer: *cranes his head around frantically*

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, is there anything I can do for you? I noticed you looking around—”

    Customer: “Oh! Sorry. We were just playing ‘I Spy.’”

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 3
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    Somebody Took An Evolutionary Detour

    | RestaurantUK | Food & Drink, Top

    (The waitress is trying to take our orders when a customer from the next table rudely interrupts.)

    Customer: *interrupting* “Is the fish suitable for vegetarians?”

    Waitress: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “The fish. Is it suitable for vegetarians?”

    Waitress: *very politely* “No, it’s meat.”

    Customer: “But it doesn’t say that there’s any meat. It says fish and chips and peas.”

    Waitress: “The fish is meat.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. Only mammals have meat, like cows and chickens.”

    Me: “Chickens aren’t mammals.”

    Customer: “Of course they are; they have meat! Honestly, don’t you know how rude it is to interrupt somebody else’s conversation?!”

    Great, Ambiguous Expectations

    | Santa Barbara, CA, USA |

    (A customer orders an iced coffee. I get it for her. She has a puzzled and dismayed look on her face.)

    Me: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “This…wasn’t what I was expecting.”

    Me: “Well, what were you expecting?”

    Customer: “I don’t know, but this wasn’t it.”

    Time For A Can Of Womb-A**

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m seven months pregnant and am working the checkout.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re pregnant! It’s a girl, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, she is.”

    Customer: “I could tell. Girls take all the beauty away from their mothers.”

    A Hearty Heart Meal

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant)]. My name is—”

    Customer: *rudely* “Can we go ahead and order? I am starving.”

    Me: “Go right ahead, sir.”

    Customer: “I’ll have the never-ending pancake sampler, but make it all bacon and add an extra egg over easy.”

    (He finishes his order, but continues to stare at me the entire time, until his food arrives. Note that his order comes with 3 eggs, 6 strips of bacon, hash browns and 3 pancakes. He asks me to bring out more pancakes twice, bringing his total to 8.)

    Me: *dropping off the check* “Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “No, that was great. I’m sorry I was so rude earlier; I was just starving. I just got out of the hospital for a heart attack. They don’t let you eat anything in there!”

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