Just Trying To Get Stuff For Free

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Snippy Customers

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Abusing Democracy

| FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Geography, Politics

(It is the evening of July 3rd.)

Customer: “Can you show me where you keep your American flags?”

Me: “Down the holiday aisle, at the back.”

(A few moments later, we hear her screaming. My manager runs back to find out what is happening. She is screaming so loud that we can hear every word.)

Manager: “What’s wrong, ma’am?”

Customer: “What’s wrong with you people!?”

(She holds up the American flag box, and points at the ‘Made in China’ stamp on the bottom.)

Manager: “I don’t see the problem, ma’am.”

Customer: “How dare you people try to sell an American flag that was made in China!”

Manager: “Ma’am, only the box was made in China.”

Customer: “Don’t you try to pull that on me! I can clearly see the stamp that says this flag was made in China!”

Manager: “It says the flag was made in the USA right here on the front of the box, ma’am.”

Customer: “You’re lying to me again! I can’t believe how stupid you people are!”

(She storms off. My manager and I have a little laugh, and then we get back to work. About half an hour later, two policemen come in and ask for my manager.)

Manager: “How can I help you, officers?”

Cop #1: “We got a call about an attempted homicide in this store.”

Manager: “Really? This is the first I’ve heard of it. What happened?”

Cop #2: “The lady that called 911 said that the people at this store, and were trying to kill her with their dropping prices.”

(It’s clear by this point the cops are stifling a laugh, and are making light of the customer’s ridiculous call.)

Cop #1: “Would you know anything about that?”

Manager: “No, sir, as far as I know, we don’t drop our prices unless we’re sure they won’t land on anyone!”

Easter Bunny Goes North

| NC, USA | Family & Kids, Religion

(I’m working as an Easter Bunny at a local mall. A little girl walks in and stands in front of me. I wave to her.)

Girl: “Hi, Easter Bunny.”

(I wave again; Easter Bunnies don’t talk.)

Girl’s Mom: “Be sure to tell him what you want him to bring you!”

Girl: “Oh yeah!”

(There’s a pause. I raise my arms like I’m shrugging.)

Girl: “Um… I want you to be sure to bring me lots of toys for Christmas…”

Putting The Cuss Into Repercussions

| Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

(I overhear an employee and an older customer, who is accompanied by her grandson. She is trying to return an expensive toy.)

Employee: “I can offer you a replacement or gift voucher, but without the receipt I can’t give you a cash refund.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me a refund in cash.”

Employee: “I can’t do that without the receipt. If the toy is faulty I can replace it for you, or you can choose something else.”

Customer: “No, you’ll give me £120 in cash, out of the till. End of.”

Grandson: “Nana, you’re not allowed to say ‘end of’ to people.”

Customer: “Shush, I’ll say what I like. I’m allowed to say what I like. They just don’t want to give me £120 out of the f****** till.”

Grandson: “You’re not allowed to say the f-word, Nana!”

Customer: “Shut up.”

Employee: “I’m really sorry, but without your receipt I can’t do a cash refund. If you come back with your receipt we’ll be able to give you a refund.”

Customer: “F*** off!”

Grandson: *to employee* “I’m sorry my nana said that. She doesn’t know you’re not allowed to say the f-word.”

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