July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Not Painting A Pretty Picture Of Himself

| BC, Canada | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

(Note: I am female.)

Me: “Hi there! Is there anything I can give you a hand with?”

Customer: “Yes, can I speak with your boss?”

(He points to my coworker, who is a middle-aged gentleman. He has worked here longer than me, but he is not my boss. My coworker hears the customer, comes over, and pats my shoulder.)

Coworker: “She’s the boss.”

(The customer is suddenly outraged.)

Customer: “How dare you! A woman in a hardware store! This blonde b**** probably doesn’t even know the first thing about paint!I want to talk to a man about man stuff!”

Coworker: “Actually, she used to paint houses professionally before she went to college, and has more experience than anyone in this store when it comes to color theory and technique. She’s also assisted in completely gutting three houses and rebuilding them. That’s more than I could say I, or most of the men in this store, have done themselves.”

Customer:Lies! Girls don’t f****** know anything about this s***! You’re a f****** liar!” *storms off*

Let’s Use The Bins

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Saved Him From Making A Big Mis-Steak

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(A regular walks in.)

Me: “Good day, sir. What can I help you with today?”

Regular: “I’d like seven pounds of lamb.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Got a party planned?”

Regular: “My brother and his family is coming to visit. Oh, and my son is bringing his girlfriend over. She’s a vegetarian, so throw in some chicken too, I guess.”

Me: “Sir, if she’s a vegetarian, she doesn’t eat meat.”

Regular: “Wait, you mean she doesn’t eat any meat at all? Not even chicken?”

Me: “Not even chicken, sir.”

Regular: “But… is that even possible?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s possible. Here’s your meat. I suggest you drop by a grocery store and buy something green for your son’s girlfriend. Enjoy your dinner!”

Regular: “Thank you.”

(He starts muttering as he leaves.)

Regular: “No meat! Some people are so strange.”

Spoiled Customer Complaints

Funny-Willy-Wonka-condescending-sarcastic-meme

Sanity Hanging By A Shoe-String

| Napa, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work in the sports store’s shoe department. A woman comes in with a group of seven kids behind her, and marches straight up to me.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [store]; how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I need to get shoes for my kids.”

Me: “Alright, I can help with that. Which children need shoes?”

Woman: “All of them.”

Me: “…all of them?”

Woman: “Yes, each of them are a different size, too. I also want to get them each three pairs of shoes. Make sure all of the shoes are different, because they don’t want shoes that are like each others. And hurry it up, would you? I don’t have all day!”

Me: *whimpers silently*

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