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    Mentally Closed Down

    | Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

    Customer: “Are you about to close?”

    Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

    Some Are Born Deaf To Manners

    | Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (We employ a deaf, hard-working lady at our restaurant.)

    Customer: *agitated* “Excuse me, are you the manager?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “That employee over there ignored me. I asked for help, even yelled, and she just walked right by. She is rude!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t matter! Your employees must answer when I call!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf. She can’t hear you at all. Even if you got her attention, she wouldn’t respond unless you use sign language or let her read your lips.”

    Customer: “Well, then why does she work here?”

    Me: “Because she is a hard worker and does her job well.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t hire rude people!”

    Me: *shaking my head*

    The Whole Is Less Than The Sum Of Its Pits

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m working at the checkout and have just weighed several peaches for a customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, sorry…I have one more peach to weigh. Have you already weighed the others?”

    Me: “Yeah, but that’s okay. I’ll just weigh it separately.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not okay!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because they would have weighed differently if they were put together. It would be less!”

    Me: *speechless*

    On The Need For Meant-al Telepathy

    | Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I would like a vanilla chai latte without the chai.”

    Me: “So, you want a vanilla latte?”

    Customer: “No, I want a vanilla chai latte without the chai! As a professional, aren’t you meant to know what I mean?”

    Me: “Of course. Ma’am, one vanilla chai latte without chai coming right up.”

    (I make her a vanilla latte and she takes a sip.)

    Me: “Is that what you wanted, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! You’re meant to tell me!”

    It’ll Take More Than One Bag To Hold All That Anger

    | Quebec, Canada | At The Checkout

    (A customer in his late 50s approaches, so I start ringing him up.)

    Customer: “Can I see your bags?”

    Me: “Sure.” *I show him our store’s bags*

    Customer: “I don’t want any of your bags. Give me another one!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but those are the only one we have. Since you only have one item, maybe you can just carry it with you? We don’t require you to put it in a bag.”

    Customer: “No, no, you don’t understand. I need a bag! I’m walking back home. However, I don’t want to give you guys free advertisement when I’m walking with your bag!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we really don’t have any other bags.”

    Customer: “Just give me that bag over there, then!”

    (He points to another bag, which was accidentally left by another customer from a different store that she had just been to. However, that bag is full of products and also has that store’s name and logo on it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t. It belongs to another customer.”

    Customer: “You stupid f***! You won’t even give me a f***ing bag?! You are the worst employee that I have ever seen! I’m never shopping here ever again!” *storms off*

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