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    That’s One Vote For President Paranoia

    | Finland | Bizarre, Politics

    (I work as an election official at an early voting polling station in Finland. Early voting slips have to be sent to the voters’ own electoral districts before counting them. This means they are enclosed first into one envelope to ensure anonymity, which is then enclosed into yet another envelope with the address of the voter’s district on it. I am processing a lady voter’s slip.)

    Me: “Okay. Now that everything is stamped and signed, we just have to enclose your voting slip into these two envelopes, and then we’ll be good as done.”

    Voter: “What?! You can’t talk about the candidates here. This is supposed to be a neutral situation!”

    Me: “I beg your pardon?”

    Voter: “Don’t you know that it’s illegal to try to influence voters at the polling station? How can you not know that if you work here?”

    Me: *confused*

    Voter: “This is just unprofessional, you talking about the candidates’ numbers. I demand you discuss this with your coworkers at the end of the day!”

    (The voter leaves, looking quite appalled. We did discuss the episode at the end of the day and onto the next day. The only conclusion we can arrive at is that the phrase “two envelopes” is clearly propaganda for candidate number 2!)

    One Does Not Simply Quaff Into Mordor

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Food & Drink

    (In the liquor store I work in, I notice an older man wondering around the store looking very confused. I ask if I can help him find anything.)

    Customer: “Do you have Rivendell?”

    Me:Rivendell?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for Rivendell.”

    Me: “Um, I don’t know if we have that here. Are you sure what you’re looking for is called ‘Rivendell?’”

    Customer: “Yes, Rivendell.”

    Me: *hesitantly* “Sir, I believe Rivendell is a city from The Lord Of The Rings.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (We pause and stare at each other for a moment. He pulls his phone out to call the person who sent him to the store. What was he looking for? Zinfandel.)

    Related:
    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet, Part 2
    Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

    Subjective Job Satisfaction

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque

    (I’m a cashier ringing up a customer.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Yep, it was fine.”

    Me: *smiling* “That’s good.”

    Customer: “You have a nice smile.”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Customer: “You must be very happy.”

    Me: “Usually.”

    Customer: “I have a friend who is a stripper. You’re much happier than her.”

    Me: *speechless* “Uh, thanks? You’re total is [total]. Have a nice day.”

    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

    , | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

    Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

    Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

    Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

    Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

    Me: *stares in disbelief*

    Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

    Related:
    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2
    Less Is More, More Or Less

    NotAlwaysRight.com T-Shirts & Buttons Have Arrived!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

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