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    Power Trips Of Ten

    | New Port Richey, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

    (I work for a company that sends techs out to repair TVs and computers in customers’ homes. We have an automated call that goes out to confirm customers’ contact information and addresses. One day, a customer calls in.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I got that auto-call and it got my address wrong.”

    Me: “Okay, just a second…”

    (I pull up the customer’s information.)

    Me: “Okay, I see that we have the address listed as 1-3-6 West—”

    Caller: “NO! It’s ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SIX! It’s NOT ONE-THREE-SIX!”

    Me: *confused*

    Caller: “You fix that, okay?”

    Me: “Sure…sir. I’ll…update that right now for you.”

    Caller: “Thanks…bye!” *click*

    Sour On Devouring Flowers

    | Northern California, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m working at a stall selling flowers in a popular farmer’s market. We have a large sign reading “EDIBLE FLOWERS!” to sell nasturtiums and organic, pesticide-free roses. A customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Edible flowers? Are they made of sugar or something?”

    Me: “No, sir! These are organically-grown flowers that are entirely edible. They’re usually used to add color to salads or as a garnish.”

    Customer: “Like what?”

    Me: “Well, these rose petals add color and a romantic flair to a dish, but they don’t have much flavor, rather like celery. Personally, I like the nasturtiums. They’re rather peppery and tasty. Would you like to try one?”

    Customer: “You’re just putting me on, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Not at all! Here, see?”

    (I pick up one of the loose nasturtiums off the counter, pluck a petal off and eat it.)

    Customer: “All right, I’ll try it.”

    (I pluck another petal off the same flower and hand it to him. He puts it in his mouth and I see a pleasantly surprised expression spread across his face. I grin, happy to see he’s enjoying it.)

    Customer: “HEY! Why’re you laughing at me?!”

    Me: “Huh? I’m not laughing, I was smiling since you seem to be—”

    Customer: “YOU TRICKED ME! I bet these aren’t edible at all! I’m gonna sue you!”

    Me: “Sir, you just watched me eat part of the same flower—”

    Customer: “You grow ‘em! I bet you’ve developed an immunity and stuff! You tried to poison me, and now you’re laughing at me! I’m gonna sue you and then I’LL be the one laughing!” *storms off*

    WEP Behind The Ears

    | Dronten, The Netherlands | Technology

    Me: “Good morning, [ISP]. This is [name] speaking.”

    Caller: “Yes, good morning sir. I’m trying to connect my internet, but it’s asking me for a ‘wireless key’.”

    Me: “Alright, sir, that’s the password you can find on the back of your router.”

    Caller: “You misunderstand me, sir. It’s asking for a key, not a password.”

    Me: “Yes, the key is a password. It’s on your—”

    Caller: *angry* “It’s asking for a key! I have the key here. I’m just looking for the keyhole!”

    Me: *surprised* “May I ask where you got that key?”

    Caller: “It’s the key on the door where the modem is in! The modem key! I just need to know where to put it in!”

    Would You Like Smoke Up Or Delivery

    | Bucks County, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (Note: My boss only purchased this particular pizza shop about four years ago. I am answering a phone call at the beginning of my shift.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [shop name]. Will this be for pick-up or delivery?”

    Customer: “Uh, is this the NEW [shop name]?”

    Me: “Yes, the current owner purchased this restaurant about four years ago.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Uh…can I get a delivery?”

    Me: “Sure! What’s your address?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just want two large pies and a dime bag.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Um…excuse me?”

    Customer: “Two large pies and a dime bag.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir…a dime bag?!”

    Customer: “Can’t I get a dime bag with my delivery?”

    Me: “No, absolutely not. We only sell food here…no dime bags!”

    Customer: “Oh, okay then.”

    (He proceeds to give me his contact information for two large pies. After the call ends, I bring the order into the kitchen. However, before I have a chance to even hand the slip to the cook, the phone rings again.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [shop name]. Will this be for pick-up or delivery?”"

    Same Customer: “Uh, yeah, I wanna cancel my order for two large pizzas.”

    Me: “Okay, so you want to cancel the two pizzas, correct?”

    Same Customer: “Yeah. Unless I can get a dime bag with them, that is.”

    Me: “No, you still can’t get a dime bag.”

    Same Customer: “Oh, okay. Yeah, cancel the order…”

    (I found out later that 15 years ago, a previous owner used to run a little “side operation” for quite some time before the police caught on and sent him to jail.)

    Must Have Taken A Napa In Geography Class

    | Canberra, Australia | Food & Drink, Geography, Top

    (A new customer walks into our liquor store. Note that I am the store manager and have been there a number of years, and have a significant appreciation for wine.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. Can I help you with anything today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m going to a dinner party this evening and want to bring a bottle of wine. I don’t know anything about wines, though, and I would like to show off a bit.”

    Me: “Certainly, I can help you with that. Do you know what food they will be serving at this party?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. Roast beef or lamb, I think.”

    Me: “In that case, you would want a red wine. If you’re not sure of the meal, then I would suggest one of the blends as they are good all rounders and a safer bet if you’re unsure. As for showing off, we have some very nice wines from Chile that we have just got in. Chile has been producing some very nice wines that are winning a number of awards at the moment, and they’re very new to the Australian market so they would be the perfect thing for showing off wine appreciation.”

    Customer: “No, I said we we’re having a roast, not a curry! I don’t want anything spicy!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am…I meant the country, not the spice. These are not spicy wines. They’re just from Chile.”

    Customer: “No, I said I don’t want a spicy wine. Can’t you just show me a wine that will make me look like I’m smart in front of my friends?!”

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