Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,796 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Letting Loose

    , | Texas, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My bowel movements are very loose.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Eau de Toilet

    , | Eau Claire, WI, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am ringing up a customer. While she is waiting for me to finish, I suggest that she tries our fragrances.)

    Customer: *sprays fragrance* “This stuff smells like a toilet.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer’s friend: *laughs hysterically*

    Customer: “It’s not a bad thing, though. It smells like a clean toilet.”

    The Lonely Star State

    | Spartanburg, SC, USA | Geography

    (I’m in the middle of explaining insurance coverages to a customer when I get to her roadside service information.)

    Me: “…and you also have on here a 24/7 nationwide roadside service that will take care of your towing and any locksmith charges.”

    Customer: “What is that?”

    Me: “What part, ma’am?”

    Customer: “24/7?”

    Me: “Oh, that means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.”

    Customer: “Oh, and what does nationwide mean?”

    Me: “That means all over the US, in any state.”

    Customer: “Does that include Texas?”

    Me: “Yes, Texas is part of the United States.”

    The Adults Are Naughty, The Kids Are Nice

    | Nobelsville, IN, USA | Holidays

    (Over the holidays, I work as a Santa that little kids can take pictures with. One particularly large family cames through with just one little girl. She comes to me and we take a picture. While the rest of the family is looking at the previews for the picture, I’m talking to the child.)

    Me: “And what would you like for Christmas this year?”

    Girl: *goes through a few things*

    Me: “Anything else?”

    Girl: “Crabs.”

    (I pause for a moment and look up at the family with widened eyes.)

    Me: “Did I hear her right?”

    Family member: “What did she say?”

    Girl: “I want crabs.”

    (The entire family bursts out laughing at this point. One of the family members holds off laughing just long enough to describe to me a toy crab that the girl’s been asking for.)

    Me: “Oh, whew! I didn’t know what to think!”

    You Have O Sense

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Technology

    Me: “I see the problem. You entered a zero in a field where you were supposed to enter an O, for ‘Other.’”

    Caller: “The letter zero?”

    Me: “No, the letter O. You have to enter the letter O in that field, not zero.”

    Caller: “The number zero or the letter zero?”

    Me: “The letter O.”

    Caller: “Okay, the letter zero…”

    Page 958/2,119First...956957958959960...Last