July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Probably Needs Some Valium Too

| AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(A customer comes into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

(She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

(I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

(My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

(The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

Customer #2: “That b**** be crazy.”

Me: “I agree, sir.”

(I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

Customer #2: “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

Good Honest Coffee

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

Regular: “Is [coworker] here?”

Me: “No, is there something I can do for you?”

Regular: “Oh, I was just here yesterday and I was chatting with [coworker], and didn’t pay for my espresso. I’d like to pay for it now.”

(I look at him in shock.)

Regular: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Me: “Because most people aren’t that honest.”

Regular: “Well, they should be; what’s so difficult about it?”

Me: “Nothing, but it’s unusual. Would you like your usual along with it?”

Regular: “Yes, please, but make sure you charge me for yesterday’s as well.”

(The girl I am working with and I are just awestruck. It puts us in a good mood for the rest of the day.)

Acting Pendantic

| CA, USA | Family & Kids

Customer: “Which of your pendants are for little boys?”

Me: “A lot of our pendants would be great for a boy! Typically, the girls usually like the smaller, round ones. The boys usually like the larger, square ones.”

(The customer glares at me.)

Customer: “Well, I think that my boy would like this one.”

(The customer points to a small, round pendant.)

Me: “That’s great! These pendants are—”

Customer: “I think he could wear any of these.”

Me: “So do I. All of the designs are fairly unisex; it just depends on his preference.”

Customer: “I think that girls should be able to wear the square ones.”

Me: “They absolutely can, my aunt actually wears the one—”

Customer: “I don’t think you should tell people what gender can’t wear which.”

Me: “I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but I do believe all of our pendants are suitable for both girls and boys. If I recall, you did ask which ones were for boys.”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure that you’re being sexist! What if my boy likes this one?”

(She points to a very specific round pendant of a lady. My eyes widen, as I only fear a bad situation going worse.)

Me: “Uh… I suppose you’re right. I’m sorry; I would not recommend that for a young child.”

Customer: “And why not!?”

Me: “…because that symbol means ‘fertility’.”

Never Shopping Here Again

stupid-customers_o_482656

He’s Talking A Load Of Bull(ion)

| Rochester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m picking up a few things near the cash register. A customer walks up to the cashier with a bottle of Goldschlager. He looks like your typical party frat-boy. I overhear his attempt to impress the attractive cashier.)

Customer: “Dude, I love this stuff. It’s so good.”

Cashier: “Yeah, my mom’s a fan too.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s really awesome. The gold flakes in it cut your throat and your stomach to get the alcohol in you faster, and get you drunk faster.”

(It is now obvious that the cashier is unenthused.)

Cashier: “Is that so?”

Customer: “Yeah, that’s totally why I drink it. It gets you drunk way faster.”

(I can see that the cashier is getting annoyed with the customer’s ‘bro’ attitude, so I speak up.)

Me: “Actually, that’s just an urban legend. Gold is known for its soft malleable properties, so it’s not sharp enough to cut you like that.”

(The customer looks a little flustered.)

Customer: “Well, that’s what I heard!”

Me: “Well it’s wrong. Not to mention, I’m sure the FDA would not approve of the sale of a drink that actually could tear the lining of the stomach and throat to accelerate intoxication. The gold is just a novelty effect.”

(The guy mumbles something, pays for his liquor, and leaves; he is clearly embarrassed. I finish my selection, and go to the cashier to pay.)

Cashier: “Look at you go! Thanks so much for that. I get so tired of idiots thinking I’m impressed with how much they can drink.”

Me: “No problem!”

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