The Breast Advice

| AR, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A lone customer, obviously pregnant, is looking at the wall of pacifiers and bottles, looking more and more confused as she stands there. She turns to me.)

Customer: “Hey, do you have any kids?”

Me: “Yes, I have a three-year-old daughter.”

Customer: “Oh, thank God! Which one of these bottles did you use? I don’t know which one is the best one!”

Me: “Oh, my daughter never drank from a bottle.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “My daughter never drank from a bottle. We didn’t need them.”

Customer: “B…but then how did you feed her?!”

Me: “With my boobs.”

(The customer digests this for a few seconds, then blushes crimson and runs off, leaving me a little confused, offended, and worried about the child she is carrying.)

Good People Are Not Dime A Dozen

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Movies & TV, Top

(I work in my university’s campus shop. I arrive for my shift to find the site in lockdown. There are security guys and people in ‘hi-vis’ jackets everywhere. They check my ID, and let me through, so I think nothing of it. Later that afternoon, one of the ‘hi-vis’ jacketed guys comes to my till with a drink and bar of chocolate. He looks stressed.)

Customer: “Hey, how much for this?”

Me: “£1.10″

(The customer starts rummaging in his pocket.)

Customer: “Oh for f***’s sake; I’ve gone and left my f****** wallet in the truck. I’ve been here since 4am, and this is the only break I’ll get! I’ve only got a £1 coin. Leave the chocolate; I’ll just have the drink.”

Me: “Nah, no worries; I’ll spot you the 10p. People leave their change behind all the time.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yeah, positive. You look like you could use it. I hope your day gets a bit better!”

Customer: “Thanks, love! You put a smile back on my face. Bless you!”

(A couple of hours later, the same guy comes back in just as I’m closing up.)

Customer: “Are you closing?”

Me: “Yes, sorry, the till’s already been shut down.”

Customer: “Excellent! If you’ve got 10 minutes, go sit on the wall outside there, and keep quiet, okay?”

(Intrigued, I go sit where he asks, which is just outside the doors of the building. A dark SUV pulls up, and security guards materialise from nowhere and start moving people away. They try to move me on, but the customer tells them that I’m with him, and they leave us be. The next person to come out of the doors is Leonardo di Caprio, who then gets into the SUV. My mouth drops in shock.)

Customer: “10p for the front-row seat. Can’t say fairer than that, can you?”

(Some months later, I recognise one of my university’s lecture halls in the movie ‘Inception’!)

Making Lemons Out Of Strawberries

me-working-at-an-ice-cream-shop-a-customer-walks-in-what-does-the-strawberry-taste-like-lemon-9b5c5

Reminder: Wild & Unruly Themed Giveaway

Not Always Right | Announcements, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s June Themed Story Giveaway:
Wild & Unruly!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about wild & unruly customers.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, July 3!

It’s About To Get Crazy Horse Up In Here

, | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(I am on break and heading towards the restroom, when a customer asks me to take his order. Seeing that it’s busy, and assuming that the customer has been waiting for some time, I step up to the spare till that the managers all share. All of my on-duty coworkers are either Hispanic or African American.)

Me: “Sorry about the wait. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Number four, medium, with an iced tea to drink. I’m glad you finally came out of the kitchen. I thought I’d never get to order.”

Me: “I’m sorry again about your wait. We’ve been a little understaffed all day.”

Customer: “So, that must be why you were doing the Mexican’s work.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “The kitchen, the kitchen! I guess all these n****** who can’t take an order right needed someone back there who speaks English to fix everything. They need to hire more white folks like you to work here.”

Me: “Sir, I would appreciate it if you refrain from making such offensive remarks.”

Customer: “Aw, c’mon. No need to cater to them. Just between us, you think whites are the best race, right?”

Me: “Just between us?”

(I beckon the customer closer, then speak loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear.)

Me: “If you spout any more of this racist bull-s***, I will not hesitate to kick you out.”

Customer: “But you’re white!”

Me: “Not that it matters, but I’m half Native-American.”

Customer: “You don’t look it. If that’s true, what’s your ‘Injun’ name?”

Me: “In my tribe, I am called ‘Ejects-Bigoted-A**-hole-From-Premises’. Now kindly get the f*** out.”

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