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    There Are No Capital Numbers

    funny_customer_support

    100% Idiot

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Top

    (An angry customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “I purchased a pregnancy test from here, and it doesn’t work! I want my money back! I’ll never come here again! Stupid thing didn’t work!”

    Me: “Okay… did you use it properly?”

    Customer: “Do I look like an idiot?! I peed on a stick. Anyone can pee on a f****** stick!”

    Me: “Did any type of line come up?”

    Customer: “No, not a single line. Just a f****** number 30. How can I be 30% pregnant?”

    Me: “Well, this is the first I’ve heard about this. Do you have the box with you so I can check if there have been any problems before?”

    (The customer hands me the box. I stare at it and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Uh… you do realise that this is a thermometer, right?”

    Customer: *runs out of the store*

    A Hot Slice Of Kindness

    | Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am working at a pizza shop on a busy Friday night. There are about five customers waiting in line. I hand the first customer her slice, and move on.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I don’t like the slice I ordered. I want a new one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I can’t just give you another slice.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want this one anymore! I demand to speak to who is in charge. How am I supposed to eat something I don’t like?!”

    (I ask my boss, and he tells me to give her a free slice to avoid an argument. I get the customer a new slice, and am finally able to take care of the other customers. An hour later, my coworker hands me a hot chocolate.)

    Coworker: “Here, this hot chocolate is for you.”

    Me: “Oh, thanks!”

    Coworker: “I didn’t get it; one of the customers who was in here before works at the coffee place. He saw you deal with that difficult customer, so he brought you the hot chocolate for free.”

    (This small act of kindness made my entire night brighter. The next time I see him, he will be getting a free slice of pizza!)

    Itty Bitty Kitteh Commity

    funny-pictures-itty-bitty-kitty-committee-customer-service-hotline

    Short-Change Con Falls Short Of Change

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (I’m working the register. A customer comes to the register with three ice creams.)

    Me: “So, is this it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “Alright your total is $12.75.”

    (The customer hands me a $20 bill. I hand him his change.)

    Customer: “Where’s the rest of my change?”

    Me: “I gave you your change already, sir.”

    Customer: “No, you didn’t! I gave you a $100 bill. You’re shorting me $80!”

    Me: “Sir, I can assure you that you paid with a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you can’t, because I paid with a $100 bill! How can they let an incompetent dip-s*** like you handle money? This is a disgrace.”

    Me: “Sir, the only disgrace here is you. For starters, company policy states that we can not accept bills larger than $50. If you did give me a $100 bill, I would refuse it and ask for a smaller bill. On top of all that, the $20 you gave me is still on the counter right next to the register.”

    (The customer goes silent, and quietly exits the store. He has not been seen at our store since.)

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