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    Has A (Com)Plain Agenda

    | New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small art house cinema. I am standing at the podium ripping tickets when an older man approaches me and immediately begins yelling at me.)

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know what’s showing? There’s no information anywhere!”

    (I point to the big red electronic sign above the counter.)

    Me: “All of the movies showing tonight are displayed up there, sir.”

    (The customer looks up and points at an abbreviated title.)

    Customer: “That useless! What’s Lord of the Ri supposed to be? How am I supposed to know what that is!?!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we also have these printed schedules which include the full movie titles and all the times showing this week.”

    Customer: “Well, what good is that?! I want to know what the films are about and it doesn’t tell me anywhere! You seriously need to do something about this!”

    Me: “The schedules include a brief synopsis, and there are also more detailed descriptions displayed on that board over there.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good to me! What about the films that are coming soon?”

    Me: “There are posters all around the foyer here with that information. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    (The man launches in to a tirade about god knows what and I have work to do, so I take the opportunity to disappear through the crowd. To my dismay, I turn around a few seconds later to find him right behind me, and at this point he continues yelling.)

    Customer: “AND YOUR CARPET IS RUBBISH!”

    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12

    | Serbia | Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (I work in a computer repair service where we fix computers, reinstall windows OS and the like. A girl storms in the shop, ignoring the line and starts shouting at me.)

    Customer: “Hey! When you reinstalled my Windows, you broke the wireless receiver in my laptop! I can’t connect to my wireless network! I want my money back and I want it now!”

    (Other customers are obviously uncomfortable. I decide to test her laptop on the spot, on the counter, and it connects to our shops wireless network without any problems.)

    Me: “See, it connects to the internet. Maybe you didn’t set up your connection properly.”

    Customer: “It connects to your network, but not mine. The programs you installed must be wrong ones! I want my money back!”

    Me: “If it connects to one network, it will connect to any. What kind of device are you using to broadcast your wireless signal?”

    (She is silent.)

    Me: “Are you connecting to your own wireless network?”

    Customer: “…No.”

    Me: “Are you sure you aren’t trying to steal someone else’s internet without knowing their password?”

    Customer: *blushes, lowers her head, and rushes out of the shop*

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 11

    Corny Joke #477

    Pay Attention To Your Kids, Please!

    Un-Sue-table Parenting

    | IN, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I walk out to the dining room and see a kid, about five years old, running on some of our booths. I walk up to the mother.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop your kid from running on our booths. It’s not safe.”

    Mother: “He’s just having fun.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not safe, and I’m asking you to stop your kid.”

    Mother: “He’s just playing. He’s not going to get hurt.”

    (This goes on for several minutes.)

    Me: “Fine, then this is your disclaimer.” *turns to a regular customer* “You’re my witness.” *to the mother* “Ma’am, if your child falls and injures himself then we at [restaurant] hold no responsibility. We are not liable for any medical costs that may result in him injuring himself in our store.”

    Mother: “You can’t do that.”

    Me: “I have told you multiple times to stop your child from engaging in such dangerous activities and you have ignored me. Have a nice afternoon.”

    (I turn and walk away.)

    Mother: *to child* “Sit down now before you hurt yourself!”

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