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    Listening Is Believing

    | Michigan, USA | Technology

    (At the store where I work, we have a rewards program. If customers spend a certain amount of money, they get to go online and print off a coupon that takes money off of their order. One day, I am working the register and this happens.)

    Caller: “I can’t print off this coupon. It won’t let me log on to my account!”

    Me: “Do you have the right email/password?”

    Caller: “I do. This is the password to my email address!”

    Me: “It’s different than your email’s password. This is a completely different site, and is different than checking your email.”

    Caller: “It won’t work! Make it work! This is so stupid! Fix it!”

    Me: “Does it give you an option to change your password?”

    Caller: “No! Make it work!”

    Me: “Try changing your password—”

    Caller: “That won’t work! I know the password to my email address!”

    Me: “If you change it, you should be able to get in.”

    Caller: “This is ridiculous!”

    (She finally agrees to try and change password, and clicks the link.)

    Caller: “Oh! That worked…”

    Sacred Sushi Time

    | Logan, UT, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello, I am with [car company] calling about your recent service visit.”

    Woman: “Why the h*** are you calling me?! It’s sushi time!”

    (At that point, her husband takes the phone away from her.)

    Husband: “Sorry, my wife is just insensitive sometimes.” *to his wife* “Honey, just shut up!” *back to me* “Geez, you called during sushi time.”

    Me: “Uh, well, I just have a survey about your service visit.”

    Husband: “I’d love to do it, but I’m eating. It’s sushi time.”

    Me: “Should I call back, or would you rather just have me remove you from the list?”

    Husband: “It’s sushi time.”

    Me: “I’ll just remove you.”

    Husband: *hangs up*

    A Big Mouth Deserves A Big Mocha

    | Columbia, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m working the drive thru at a coffee shop.)

    Customer: “I’d like a mocha.”

    Me: “Certainly, what size on that?”

    Customer: *screaming* “MOCHA!!!”

    Me: “All right, go ahead and pull forward…”

    Judge Me By The Content Of My Crustaceans

    | New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (The customer approaching the seafood counter is an older male with a VFW hat and an American flag patch on his coat.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I want some white shrimp.”

    Me: “Raw or cooked?”

    Customer: “Raw.”

    (I lead the customer over to our raw case and continue talking as he starts reading the tags. It’s dead winter, so all our white shrimp are from warm South East Asian countries.)

    Me: “We keep our raw shrimp over here. What size would you—”

    Customer: “White shrimp! I want WHITE shrimp! Not from any of these raggedy-a** countries.”

    Me: *speechless*

    A Game Of Kat And Birdie

    | Georgia, USA | Funny Names

    (I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

    Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I need a refill.”

    Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

    Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

    Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”

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