Me: “Hi! Welcome to [electronics store]. What brings you in today?”
Customer: “I need an electronic English to Spanish dictionary.”
Me: “Okay, right this way.”
Customer: “Does it talk?”
Me: “No. We don’t sell translators here.”
Customer: “This isn’t a translator?”
Me: “It will translate English words to Spanish words, but it won’t speak them. It will only show you the text.”
Customer: “Well, that’s stupid! If I knew how to speak the d*** language, I wouldn’t need the d*** dictionary!”
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1,233 Thumbs Up!)
(I am shelving a couple books. I have two books in my hands, each going in different sections.)
Customer: *pointing* “Oh that book goes over here and that book goes over there.”
Me: “But–”
Customer: “The book goes right here.”
Me: “Yes, I–”
Customer: *takes book from me* “The book goes in this spot here.”
Me: “I know.”
Customer: “I’m not trying to tell you how to do your job. I’m just trying to be helpful!”
Me: “Thank you?”
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1,865 Thumbs Up!)
(I am calling a mother about her 3-year-old son, who is exhibiting signs of pink-eye.)
Me: “I’m calling from [camp name] about your son.”
Customer: “Oh no, is he all right?”
Me: “Well, there seems to be something wrong with his eye. It’s swollen and he hasn’t been able to stop itching it, and it’s very red and inflamed.”
Customer: “Is he bleeding?”
Me: “Well, no. But I think it might be a good idea to pick him up and maybe take him to your family doctor.”
Customer: “So he’s not bleeding?”
Me: *pause* “No. But these symptoms can sometimes be indicators of something serious and often contagious. I really think you should come get him.”
Customer: “Why are you calling me if he’s not bleeding?”
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2,557 Thumbs Up!)
(A customer walks up to counter and sets down a bag from a competitor’s store, pulls out competitor’s receipt, and starts unloading books with competitor’s sticker on them.)
Customer: “I’d like to return these.”
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t take these back here. We’re [bookstore].”
Customer: “So?”
Me: “These books are from [competitor]. I can’t do this return.”
Customer: “But don’t you have a store by the mall?”
Me: “We do have a location a few blocks away from the mall, but the store inside the mall is actually [competitor].”
Customer: “So you won’t take these back for me?”
Me: “Unfortunately, since they weren’t purchased from us. You’ll need to take them back to [competitor] and they’ll be able to help you.”
Customer: *surprised* “I thought all bookstores were the same!”
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2,262 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “May I help you?”
Caller: “Please put me through to [owner].”
Me: “Sure, who’s calling please?”
Caller: “His cousin Fred.”
Me: “I didn’t know he had a cousin Fred.”
Caller: “Why would you? You just answer phones! This is a family affair and none of your business! Who do you think you are anyway?”
Me: “[Owner]‘s daughter.” *click*
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4,664 Thumbs Up!)
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