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    It Pays To Be Correct

    | South Carolina, USA | Money

    (I work at a popular tax office. One day, a woman in her 30s, whose taxes I had done the year before, comes in to file. Once we finish entering her information, I tell her how much she would be getting in her refund, which is substantial.)

    Me: “So, your state return is $1,570, and your federal is $4,900, for a total of $6,470.”

    Customer: “That can’t be right.”

    Me: “Do you have another W-2 or 1099 that you need to add?”

    Customer: “No, I mean that’s too much money.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “I only got $300 last year, so I think you did my taxes wrong.”

    Me: “Mrs. [name], I assure you I did them right. You also did get a better job last year, got married, and had a child. All of those things qualified you for credits and a higher refund.”

    Customer: “No, No, NO! You did it WRONG and I am not going to JAIL because you are INCOMPETENT!” *grabs her purse and walks out, leaving all her tax documents behind*

    (My manager later told me that the customer had come back for her tax documents. She said she had done her taxes online herself, and was getting less than $1000.)

    Now, Wait Just A New York Minute

    | USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work in a call center taking customer care calls for cell phones.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I am going to Ireland and I want to know the per minute rate.”

    Me: “Yes, thats no problem. The per minute rate to Ireland is $0.99 per minute.”

    Customer: “Is that an Irish minute or an American minute?”

    Me: *confused* “Miss, a minute is a minute no matter where you are.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! You’re just trying to get my bill higher than it should be! I will report you to the BBB!”

    The Wall Of Somebodies

    | California, USA |

    (I work at the front desk of an office. Note that we have pictures of our founder with celebrities on the wall. On this day, we have a guest waiting for one of our executives. He examines the celebrity pictures while he waits.)

    Guest: “Who are these people? Are they former employees?”

    Me: “No, they are celebrities.”

    (The guest looks at the pictures, which include Whitney Houston, Clint Eastwood, and Al Gore.)

    Guest: “Huh, I don’t think I’ve heard of them…”

    Weekend Roundup: Time Travel

    , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Time Travel! This week, we show it’s only a matter of “time” before you run into customers with no grasp of time—past, present, or future!

    1. Someone’s About To Get Smacked To The Future:
      An unsuspecting wife gets sent out by a husband on a fool’s errand to look for a flux capacitor—in a flying DeLorean, no doubt.
    2. A Tale Of Time Traveling Tune-Ups:
      The customer is always right, even if it means ripping a hole in the space-time continuum.
    3. Doctor Sue:
      Look, man, we all wish your replica TARDIS actually flew through time, but unless you’re a Time Lord with a chameleon circuit, you’re barking up the wrong police box.
    4. Eastern Standard Time Travelers:
      Getting time zones mixed up with time travel? No big deal, although teleporting New York City three hours into the future would be kinda cool.
    5. Please See The “Time Travel” Section:
      This dinosaur-craving bookstore customer has been watching a little bit too much Jurassic Park!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Technical Take Backsies

    , | SK, Canada | Technology

    (I’m a service coordinator for a cellphone provider and I receive a phone call from a customer wanting help setting up his email.)

    Customer: “Okay, I’m into the email setup, but now, it’s asking for an email address and password. What email do I use?”

    Me: “Whichever email you want coming to the phone.”

    Customer: “I want my work email.”

    Me: “Then, enter your work email address and password.”

    Customer: “What is my password?”

    Me: “I don’t know your password, sir. Only you should know that.”

    Customer: “I don’t know it. Where can I get it?”

    Me: “It will be the same password you enter when checking your email at work.”

    Customer: “You mean [password]?”

    Me: “Um, yes, enter that. For future reference, you shouldn’t give out your password to people.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “That is how your email is secured so that others cannot access it. Someone who knows it could log into your email and send false emails or delete your emails on you.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t want that. Give it back!”

    Me: “Give what back?”

    Customer: “My password! I don’t want you logging into my email!”

    Me: “I’m not sure what you’re asking, sir. You verbally spoke your password. I cannot give it back.”

    Customer: “Well, this is just great. Now the whole world can access my email!”

    Me: “I assure you, sir, that nothing will happen. We honor customer security and nobody will know your password.”

    Customer: “But you know it.”

    Me: “Yes, because you told me. However, I will not do anything with it. As I said, we honor customer security and all information is confidential. You have nothing to worry about.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “Did you manage to finish the setup?”

    Customer: “What setup?”

    Me: “You were setting up your email, did it go through?”

    Customer: “It’s still asking for a password.”

    Me: “Enter the password you said before and click ‘OK’. You should get a prompt saying it was successfully setup.”

    Customer: “You mean [password]?”

    Me: “Yes, enter that.”

    Customer: “Okay, it says it was successful.”

    Me: “You should start getting email now. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “So, can you keep my password in case I need it again?”

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