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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • This Strange Kind Of Woman Needs To Hush

    | Queensland, Australia | Musical Mayhem, Top

    (When Guitar Hero first came out, our store had the game set up for customers to play in-store. A customer who looks to be in her late thirties or early forties is checking out. She has been aggressive and rude the entire time she has been in the store, going so far as to harass other customers trying to shop.)

    Customer: “…And you should turn off this CD! It’s giving me a headache!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. It’s actually not a CD, but a new game which we have set up for people to try. You can see some people playing it over there right now.” *I point them out* “We do have the volume about as low as we can while still allowing people to enjoy the game properly.”

    Customer: “Well, you should at least make it play some decent music! You kids don’t know what good music is. I’m so sick of hearing this stupid modern teeny-bopper kid music in every damn shop. It just pisses me off. Guess what? Most of us aren’t that young, and we don’t want to listen to music only teenagers these days could enjoy! They stopped making good music before you were even born! You’ve probably never even heard good music!”

    Me: “I really am sorry, ma’am, and if it were a CD I would turn it off for you, but other customers are enjoying the game right now. I have to say, though, you look amazing! I never would have guessed you were old enough to consider Deep Purple music only for the younger generation.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well! I didn’t mean the current song, obviously! The band that was playing before this song!”

    Me: “…Cream?”

    (The customer eventually left, muttering the whole way about about kids and teenagers. The three ‘kids’ playing the game while she was in-store? Grey-bearded gentlemen well over fifty.)

    Questionable Questioning, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Customer: “Can I ask a question?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Camera. Wrist strap.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Camera. Wrist strap.”

    Me: *trying to guess* “Um, do cameras come with wrist straps?”

    Customer: “No! Do you sell them separately?!”

    Related:
    Questionable Questioning

    What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stranger

    | County Tyrone, Ireland | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I am helping a customer choose clothes for her son while he tries them on in the changing room. She is on the older side of middle-aged and has a terrible cough.)

    Customer: *begins coughing and spluttering again*

    Me: “Ma’am, we have some seats over here if you’d like to sit down. Can I get you a drink of water?”

    Customer: “No, no. I am a fighter.”

    Me: “Um, are you sure you wouldn’t at least like to sit down?”

    Customer: “No! I have been in three business meetings today! I am a fighter!”

    (Please note that this is 2pm on a Sunday afternoon.)

    Me: “Okay, but if you need anything, just ask.”

    Customer: “Listen, you only live once. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger! *grabs my hands* “I AM A FIGHTER! I WILL NOT DIE! I AM DESIGNING MY OWN CLOTHES AND WILL PUT [my store] OUT OF BUSINESS!”

    Cooking Up Fresh Fierce Hairdos Daily

    | Montana, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant I work at is rather unimaginatively named after the street where we are located. There is an equally unimaginatively named salon just a block away from us. We get calls for them often enough that we posted their number next to our phone so we can give it to customers who called by accident.)

    Me: “[Restaurant], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to schedule a hair cut and color for tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, this is [restaurant], not the salon. I have their number right here if you’d like to take it down.”

    Caller: “No, no, no! I don’t want a restaurant. I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I’m afraid you have the wrong number. The salon’s number is—”

    Caller: “NO! I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, but I’m afraid I can’t do that for you. This is a restaurant.”

    Caller: “I don’t understand why you can’t just make an appointment for me! I want to speak with your manager!”

    Me: “I’m afraid my manager is unavailable at the moment.”

    Caller: “Fine! I’ll just come in first thing tomorrow for a walk-in. Expect me to talk with your manager then!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Caller: *click*

    (Our manager actually got a call from the extremely amused salon manager the next day. Apparently, she had to promise to “fire” me as the woman would not believe that she had called the wrong number!)

    Making A Difference

    | Ontario, Canada | Awesome Customers, Money, Top

    (We have a big display of used books just outside our doors that we sell to raise money for a local charity. Paperbacks are $1 and hardcovers are $3, but we sometimes let them give less money if the books aren’t in great condition. An older lady comes to the counter with a brand new-looking hardcover that I had originally thought she bought at the bookstore in the mall.)

    Me: “That’s just from [the used books outside the mall]?”

    Customer: “Ya.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be $3, please.”

    (The customer puts a single loonie on the counter.)

    Me: “Oh, sorry. It’s $3.”

    Customer: “WHAT!? But I got some paperbacks the other day and they were only $1!”

    Me: “That’s because the paperbacks are $1, but the hardcovers are $3.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous! I don’t want it, then!”

    Me: “Well, I can take it for the $1 because it’s just a donation, but they’re supposed to the $3.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “The money for the books goes to a charity, so since it’s just a donation, I can give it to you for a dollar. But, just so you know, the hardcovers are $3.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! $3 for a book!” *leaves the loonie on the counter and takes her book*

    (About 20 minutes later, a teenage girl and her boyfriend come into the store with a hardcover book.)

    Me: “That’ll be $3, please.”

    (The teenage girl hands me a $5 bill. I open the donation jar to get her change.)

    Teenage Girl: “Oh, it’s a donation?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Teenage Girl: “Well, you can just take the whole $5, then.”

    Me: “Thank you very much!”

    Teenage Girl: “No problem!”

    (Funny, the differences between some people!)

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