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    Square Plug Into A Round Hole

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Technology

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’d like to take this plug and put it into that socket.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. What is the shape and color of the plug and socket?”

    Caller: “The plug is blue and square-shaped and the socket is a blue circle.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it doesn’t look like those plugs are compatible.”

    Caller: “That’s not right. They’re both blue.”

    Me: “Yes, but the plug is square and the socket is a circle. Square plugs usually won’t fit into a circle-shaped socket.”

    Caller: “But they’re both blue and conduct electricity from this local area. That doesn’t make sense!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t help you do what you want to do. You need a square-shaped socket for it to happen.”

    Caller: “Really? I’m not so sure you’re right. You sound rather confused, actually…”

    Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

    | Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “SYNONYM!”

    Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

    Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

    They’re A Fungus Among Us

    | Texas, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m a cashier at a grocery store and a customer comes in to return an item.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I need to return these mushrooms.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, was there something wrong with them?”

    Customer: “Yes, they’re a fungus!”

    Me: “Oh, they have something growing on them?”

    Customer: “No! They are a fungus. I’m not eating any fungus!”

    A Cheerful Earful

    | Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout

    (I have been helping a customer sort out an order and have escorted her to the cashier. I hand her over with a smile and the cashier greets her with a smile.)

    Customer: “Everyone here is so cheerful! You are all so very cheerful!”

    Me: “Yes, well, we enjoy nice customers like you!”

    Customer: “God almighty, what do they feed you?! CHEERFUL Kool-Aid?!”

    (The cashier and I continue to smile while the customer pays. As she leaves…)

    Customer: “So cheerful…so cheerful…SO CHEERFUL!”

    Water You, Stupid, Part 9

    | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a home improvement store selling appliances. I receive a call from a very upset customer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I picked up a fridge yesterday. It has been 24 hours and hasn’t made any ice.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, we’re going to run troubleshooting. Is the fridge getting power?”

    Customer: “Of course it’s plugged in. What do you think I am, an idiot?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I’m just trying to troubleshoot. Is the water supply to the fridge working?”

    Customer: “What water supply?”

    Me: “Well, sir, you have to connect the fridge to a water line for it to be able to make ice.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I have to hook up the fridge to water? I thought it just made ice.”

    Me: “Well, sir, it can’t pull water straight from the air.”

    Customer: “Running water to a fridge…I don’t understand why these companies have to make things so complicated these days!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 8
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

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