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  • Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7
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    Speaking Of Rips…

    | Bella Vista, AR, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (I’m in the lawn and garden section and see a lady looking at some flowers. I see her pull a flowerpot off of the rack and tear the plastic container apart. She then turns around and sees me.)

    Customer: “The packaging on this item is broken. Can I get a discount?”

    Me: *unsure of how to respond* “Let me get you my manager, ma’am.”

    (I explain the situation to my manager on the way over.)

    Customer: “The packaging on this item was broken. Can I get a discount?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t give discounts on items that you yourself have broken.”

    Customer: “What a rip-off!” *leaves store*

    Peppered With Inconsistency

    | Clifton Park, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like your tuna jalapeño sub without the jalapeños.”

    Me: “Okay, so you’d like a tuna sub?”

    Customer: “No, I’d like a tuna jalapeño sub without the tuna!”

    Me: “You want a veggie sub?”

    Customer: “No, you’re not listening! Give me a tuna jalapeño sub without the jalapeños!”

    (I just start making a tuna sub without saying another word.)

    Me: “And what kind of veggies would you like?”

    Customer: “Lettuce, tomato, and…hmm…how about jalapeños?

    Thank You For Shopping At Wrongway Mart

    | Amsterdam, NY, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a rest stop in Amsterdam, NY, which is about 180 miles north-west of New York City. We are on the west-bound side of I-90. One night, two customers came into my shop to purchase some chips and soda.)

    Me: *ringing out the purchase* “That will be $xx.xx. Will there be anything else?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, how long ’til we get to New York City?”

    Me: “You’re about three and a half hours away from New York City, but you’re heading the wrong way.”

    Customer #1: “Huh? Whaddya mean?”

    Me: “Well, New York City is southeast of here. To get there, you need to get on I-90 east, and then take I-87 south. Right now you’re on I-90 headed west toward Utica and Buffalo.”

    (Utica and Buffalo are about 240 and 396 miles away from NYC, respectively.)

    Customer #2:“Yeah! that’s where we’re going! Utica, Buffalo, New York City! That area!”

    Customer #1: *as the two leave* “NEW YORK!!! WHOO!”

    Come Clean With Your True Intentions

    | Bella Vista, AR, USA |

    (I am in the back doing dishes after the breakfast rush.)

    Manager: “Hey, [my name], a customer says that the men’s restroom is really dirty. Could you go clean it up?”

    (I go to the restroom to take a look. My manager comes with me. We quickly agree that the bathroom is not in any way dirty.)

    Manager: “Just sweep up a little and call it good.”

    (I leave to get the broom. While getting it, a customer comes up to me. At this point, I am not aware this customer is the one that complained to my manager.)

    Customer: “Is it okay in there?”

    (I assume he means is it okay to go in, and tell him yes. The customer goes in and comes right back out straight up to me.)

    Customer: “Bull****!”

    Me: “Is something wrong?”

    Customer: “That bathroom ain’t clean! I want to talk to your corporate office!”

    Me: “About what?”

    Customer: “This store is unacceptably dirty, and the workers are unfriendly!”

    Me: “I’m sorry—”

    Customer: “By the way, can I get a job here?”

    Try Adobe HeathenShop

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Religion, Technology, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me how this converter works?”

    Me: “Let me see. It looks like you put your old photo negatives into it and it converts them to digital images.”

    Customer: “So, it doesn’t make them Christians?”

    Me: “Uh…what? Who?”

    Customer: “It says it’s a “converter”. So, does it make the people in the pictures turn from devil worshippers into Christians?”

    Me: *stunned* “No…No, it doesn’t do anything like that. It takes old negative strips from film cameras and converts them into digital images.”

    Customer: “So, it won’t make them Christian?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Customer: “What a useless piece of crap that is, then!”

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