His Size Is XX-Creepy

| Papillion, NE, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(A male customer approaches me, holding a package of men’s underwear.)

Customer: “Ma’am, can I ask you to do something that is probably outside your job description?”

Me: “What is it?”

(He puts the package down and sticks his hands in the back of his pants.)

Customer: “Okay, I need a new pair of underwear. I don’t know what size I wear, and I can’t read the tag.”

Me: “You can go in one of the men’s fitting rooms and check.”

Customer: “D*** it!”

A Drought Of Nice Customers

| Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(We are having a really bad drought in the North Island at the moment, so we have some serious water restrictions. It’s the top of everyone’s mind, and everyone’s talking about it.)

Me: *to customer at drive-thru* “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Okay, here you go. Wow, it’s going to be another scorcher today, huh?”

Me: “I know, I’m just about to go do a rain dance.”

Customer: “I know how you feel. We’re on tank water, and it’s running a little low for us.”

Me: “Well, in town we’ve just got all the regular restrictions; we’re not watering and stuff. My mum’s so upset; she’s lost her entire veggie garden because she can’t water during the day.”

Customer: “That must be pretty hard on her. We’re doing okay, because we’ve been so careful and everything.”

(My coworker hands me her meal, and I hand it straight out.)

Me: “Here you go, all done!”

Customer: “Wow, that was fast! Thanks!”

(I think she’s about to drive away, so I move to shut the window.)

Customer: “Hang on! Can I see your manager, please?”

(Confused, I grab the manager on the floor.)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “I just wanted to tell you how lovely it is to get a pleasant employee at the drive-thru window. This young lady has been talking to me the entire time I was here, and it made the time absolutely fly. You so rarely get pleasant people in the service industry. I just wanted to say how nice she was. Thank you, and have a good day!”

(With that, she drives off. My manager gives me a thumbs-up, and I feel good the rest of my shift. Sometimes you get some good ones!)

Put-Up-With-You Charge

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The Four Pillars Of Bad Behavior

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in a poutine place downtown; we stay open until 4 am on weekends due to the nightlife. We never usually have an issue with drunk people.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry; we do not accept credit. Do you have another method of payment?”

Customer: “I will have you know I am the f****** niece of the owner, and he will have you all fired!”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, that does not address the issue at hand.”

Customer: “You f****** f**!”

(She continues to throw insults at my coworker, telling him to go back to Africa, despite him being Caucasian. He maintains his composure.)

Customer: “F*** you, just let me pay for my f****** food!”

(I am right around the corner, and am an African-American female. I decide to intervene.)

Me: “[Coworker] seems to have a lot more patience for your crap than I do. Our machines do not recognize credit cards, and that fact is completely irrelevant to his orientation. Moreover, the owner’s only brother isn’t even 30, and therefore cannot biologically have a daughter in her 20s. And that stuff about going back to Africa? You can take that up with me. Have a nice night!”

(The customer falls silent. The crowd parts as she exits the store.)

Coworker: “Wow, remind me not to p*** you off!”

Me: “Don’t worry; you won’t be seeing that again. It’s one thing to be so disrespectful, another to be a compulsive liar, another to be homophobic, and another to be racist. She needed a talking to!”

(All the customers who witness the incident tip us really well for dealing with her!)

Space Is His Final Frontier

| MI, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(A customer is at the fishing license kiosk, entering in his application. He is looking visibly frustrated.)

Customer: “Oh, come on!”

(I walk up to the customer.)

Me: “Alright, can I see you go through this?”

Customer: “I’ve already done it four times!”

Me: “I understand. Just one more time, please.”

(The customer types his full name in the space provided. I see the problem. Instead of ‘John L. Doe’ he writes ‘johnldoe’.)

Me: “Alright, you’re going to need to put spaces in there.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(The customer puts the spaces in. We get to the address. He types in an equivalent of: ‘123adr3$$@Clty’.)

Me: “…alright, why don’t I just handle this?”

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