Featured:
  • My Roommate Is My Pet Hate
    (938 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Having A Light Bulb Moment

    | AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Me: “Thanks for calling [company name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m calling because my bill is too high!”

    Me: “Alright, I can pull up your account and see what could have caused the increase in—”

    Customer: “It’s always been too high, and I think it’s this distribution charge.”

    Me: “Ah, well that comes from the regulated electricity distributors, the ones that own and maintain the lines in the area. They send that information to us; we don’t have any control over that, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “It’s a bulls*** charge! I don’t need no distribution!”

    Me: “Well… the charge is for maintaining the electrical lines that transmit the electricity—”

    Customer: “Transmitting the electricity?”

    Me: “Yeah… you know, sending it out there.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? They don’t have to send it anywhere!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “When I turn on the lights, they just come on. I don’t have to wait for the electricity to get there, it’s already there.”

    Me: “That’s not how electricity works, sir.”

    Customer: “Of course it is! It turns on right away because the electricity is there. It doesn’t move!”

    Me: “Sir… do you have a microwave?”

    Customer: “Of course I do.”

    Me: “And when you use your microwave, it works immediately, correct?”

    Customer: “Right, because the electricity is already in there.”

    Me: “So, why do you have to plug it in if the electricity is already there?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “If you unplug your microwave it doesn’t work anymore, right?”

    Customer: “Well, yes! What does that have to do with—”

    Me: “That’s because the electricity has to travel through the cable to get to the microwave to make it work.”

    (He mutters as he’s grasping for something to argue.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: *click*

    Closing Down But Lifting Up

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (The company I work for is going out of business, and it is my final day working. I’ve been chatting with a customer about how hard finding a new job is as I ring her up.)

    Customer: “Well, thank you. We’re off to Starbucks now.”

    Me: “Oh, I love Starbucks.”

    Customer: “Really? Would you like me to bring you something?”

    Me: “I… what?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what would you like? I have a gift card so it’s not a problem.”

    Me: “The closest one is fifteen minutes away.”

    Customer: “I know. What would you like?”

    Me: “Um… a caramel mocha?”

    Customer: “Grande or venti?”

    Me: “A… grande is good. Thank you.”

    Customer: “It’s not a problem. Caramel mocha. I’ll be back with it soon.”

    (True to her word, she was back later with the coffee. I’ve not had any luck in the job search yet, but her bringing me a free coffee on my last day really made me smile.)

    The Dirty Dozen

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Top

    (I’m standing in line at the ’12 items or less’ self-checkout behind a nice yet flustered older lady. My hands are full of stuff for my lunch—can of soup, loaf of bread, etc. A second woman comes up behind me with an over-flowing carriage; she’s way beyond 12 items.)

    Older Woman: *reading from the screen* “Swipe card.”

    (The older woman looks around, but misses the card reader in front of her.)

    Me: “It’s right in front of you.”

    Older Woman: “Where?” *continues to look all around*

    Woman Behind Me: “Tsk.”

    Me: “Just extend your arm straight ahead…”

    (The older woman turns to face me and extends her hand, with credit card in hand, to me. I put my items down and point out the swipe area on the card reader in front of her. She’s finally able to finish her transaction; all this time, the woman behind me has been tapping her toes, shaking her head, etc. The older woman starts to leave with her purse still sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your purse.”

    Older Woman: “Oh! Thank you. I wouldn’t have gotten far without that.” *takes her three items and leaves*

    Woman Behind Me: “Some people just can’t follow directions.”

    Me: “Like 12 items or less’?”

    Woman Behind Me: *turns bright red*

    A Weebly Weird Conversation

    , , | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am waiting in line at a fast food restaurant. The couple behind me, who looks to be in their late twenties, are discussing their orders.)

    Guy: “Have you tried the bacon, mushroom and Swiss cheese burger?”

    Girl: “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, but I’m not a huge fan of mushrooms.”

    Guy: *starts singing super quietly* “Mushroom! Mushroom!”

    Girl: *also super quietly* “It’s a snake! A snaaaaaake! A snaaaaake!”

    Both: “Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger, badger!”

    (They then go back to their conversation about various menu items, completely normal.)

    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here, Part 3

    | Cape Cod, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I don’t work at the store, but my uniform is similar to the store I’m at. An elderly man asks me for help and even though I’m not an employee I help him with his list. I eventually finish my shopping and step into a line. I see the old man step up behind me, so I casually step out of line so he can check out his fewer items first.)

    Elderly Man: “Did you stop out of line so I could get in front of you?”

    Me: “Nope, I was looking at this magazine over here.”

    Elderly Man: “Well, you get right back in front of me.”

    Me: “No, that’s okay; you’ve got less items than I do, so you’ll go through faster.”

    Elderly Man: “Now you listen here, young lady: I’m older than you and you have to respect your elders. Now, respect me and get ahead.”

    (I still refuse and because it’s his turn to check out, he has no choice but to unload his items. I unload my things behind his while the man hands the cashier clearly too much money.)

    Elderly Man: “You see that insufferable young lady right there? I want you to use this money to pay for her things. Stupidly I thought she worked here, and even though she doesn’t, she helped me find all of my items and then let me go ahead of her. I want you to use that money but give her a condescending look for being such a nice girl.”

    Cashier: “You want me to scold her for being kind?”

    Elderly Man: “No, I want you to scold her for not listening to her elders. You give her a nice smile for being kind.”

    (The man then leaves and I’m checked out.)

    Cashier: “That was really the most interesting conversation I’ve ever had, and if he hadn’t paid for your items, I would have for being such an outstanding customer!”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here, Part 2
    I Don’t Work Here, Actually Worked Here

    Page 944/2,471First...942943944945946...Last