Customer: “I’ll take a $2 scratch-and-win, please.”

Me: “Awesome. Here you go.”

Customer: “I was wondering how much you have to pay for one with prizes?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “If I got a $3 one, would it have a chance to win prizes?”

Me: “That one you have has a chance to win prizes, ma’am. They all do.”

Customer: *surprised* “Really?”

Me: “Of course.”

Customer: *excited* “You learn something new every day!”

(A customer is trying on a black and white top by a well known designer and it fits her very well. Her daughter is with her.)

Customer: “I just wish this wasn’t black and white. I want something brighter.”

Me: “Well, we do have a dress by the same designer which has the same silhouette in pink. I think it would look good with your complexion and hair color.”

Customer: “No thanks. My daughter doesn’t think I look good in pink so I’m going to have to listen to her on this.”

(The customer’s five-year old daughter solemnly nods with approval.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Auto Parts], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need an alternator for my vehicle.”

(I look up his car and the alternator.)

Me: “Okay, the one we have in stock is $79.99.”

Caller: “$49.99?”

Me: “No, sir, $79.99.”

Caller: “$49.99?”

Me: “$79.99.”

Caller: “Hey, you said $79.99!”

Me: “Indeed I did, sir!”

(I work for a place that sells towing systems.)

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if my car needs to be there when they install the mounting brackets for the tow-bar?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Since the mounting brackets are installed on your car, you car will need to be there”

Caller: “Why? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Well, sir, the mounting brackets are permanently attached to your vehicle. In order to attach them to your vehicle, we will need your vehicle to be there.”

Caller: “I’m not sure if I follow.”

Me: “Well, sir, say you come to my house so I can wash your car, but you ride your bicycle. Well since your car isn’t there, that means I can’t wash it.”

Caller: “Oh, I get it now…I think.”

Me: “Great, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “So, you all have to wash my car to do it. That’s why it has to be there!”

(My dad builds websites from home, but when’s he’s out I answer his office phone and take notes for him. I am a 20 year old female, and my father is a 55 year old male.)

Me: “Hello, this is [my father]‘s office, how may I help you”

Customer: “Hello, I need to ask you a question about this design template.”

Me: “I’m sorry. My dad isn’t in right now but I can take a message.”

Customer: “Oh, good heavens! You know, you sound exactly like your father.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “Are you Christian?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well that must be it then. All you heathens sound the same to me. Well, I’ll call back.” *hangs up*

Related:
Sins Of The Father