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    O, Canaduh

    | UK | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

    Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

    Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

    (We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

    In Other Words

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |

    (A man is browsing through the lingerie and I approach to see if he needs help.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for a gift for your girlfriend?”

    Customer: “Naw, it’s for shawty, my hollaback girl!”

    Intrinsically Disadvantaged

    | Richmond, Virginia, USA |

    (I work in a doctor’s office calling previous patients asking them to rate the quality of their visit. If they rate it “good” or below, I have to ask why and take down the reason. I have just gotten through most of the questions, when I ask the final one.)

    Me: “…and would you rate our billing service as excellent, very good, good, fair, or poor?”

    Patient: “Oh, good, I guess.”

    Me: “Okay, and may I ask why you didn’t rate it excellent or very good?”

    Patient: “It’s a BILL!”

    Me: *laughing* “All right, I will make sure to make a note of that. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day!”

    Thou Shalt Remain Loyal To Employer

    | Fort Worth, TX, USA |

    Customer: “Your prices are outrageous!”

    Me: “I know. I, myself, prefer to fill up somewhere cheaper.”

    Customer: “You should shop here, you know.”

    Me: “I buy some of my things here, but I always fill up somewhere cheaper.”

    Customer: “No, no, you should fill up and buy everything here! Otherwise, you’ll go to hell.”

    Me: “Uh, I really don’t think God will mind too much if I don’t buy everything from here.”

    Customer: “You’d better be sure. I wouldn’t want you to go to hell.”

    Me: “Oh, uh, thanks, I guess?”

    Customer: “I don’t want any d*** gas station attendants filling up my hell just because they didn’t fill up at their own store.”

    Age Is But A Number, Part 2

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    Customer: “I need to return this.”

    Me: “I see that it’s been open and even played with. Mind if I ask what was wrong?”

    Customer: “My son says it’s too difficult to play with.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but once again, this is clearly used, as it’s showing signs of wear. I’m afraid I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “You don’t understand. We have no use for this anymore! My son can’t play with it! It’s too difficult for him! Give me my money back!”

    Me: “Well sir, the packaging for this toy does say it’s for ‘Ages 14 and Up’. How old is your son, anyway?”

    Customer: “26.”

    Related:
    Age Is But A Number


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