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  • Weekend Roundup: Tech Support Classics, Part 2

    , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Technology

    Tech Support Classics, Part 2: This week, we feature another five stories that reveal the trials, tribulations, and terrors that technical support employees endure daily! PS–also check out Tech Support Classics, Part 1!

    1. Scareware Makes Us Aware:
      TMI: getting an STD from an FLV!
    2. Workin’ That Tech Support Magic:
      A clever tech support employee gets some magical help!
    3. Get A Life:
      A “real”-ly demanding customer gets a “reality” check.
    4. What She Needs Is A Skynet:
      Artificial intelligence meets zero intelligence.
    5. How To Make Them As Silent As A Mouse, Part 2:
      A user points and clicks their way into the Tech Support Hall Of Shame!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Ph.Duh, Part 3

    | New York, NY, USA | Technology, Top

    (An older professor calls for help with his campus webmail. He is trying to open an email by checking the box. I show him how to click the subject instead. Lo and behold, the email opens.)

    Professor: “Well, that worked. But that’s extremely poor design, you know. How was I supposed to know to click the words?”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad we could help you figure it out.”

    Professor: “This is ridiculous. Not a single other email works like that! This is the only one I’ve ever seen where you have to click the words, not the checkbox.”

    Me: “Actually sir, that’s standard design for webmail. But now that you’re able to open your email—”

    Professor: “I use [email provider] at home and it doesn’t work like this! How come yours is different from [email provider]?”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with [email provider]‘s webmail, so I’m afraid I can’t answer your question.”

    Professor: “You’re trying to tell me that EVERY other email is just like yours, and I’m telling you it’s NOT TRUE.”

    Me: “I’m sorry that I can’t explain the differences between our webmail and [email provider]‘s. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Professor: “Yes, you can GO DIE!”

    (He hangs up on me, and my boss, who overheard the conversation, is livid. She contacts the professor’s department chair to report him for harassing me, and the chair sent back his deepest apologies and assured us he would reprimand the professor. Justice!)

    Related:
    Ph.Duh, Part 2
    Ph.Duh

    Of Closed Minds And Opened Doors

    | Richfield, MN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am walking a customer out to her car so I can help her load the mulch she has purchased. She tries unsuccessfully to use her key fob to open the trunk.)

    Customer: “It’s not working! Oh my god, what am I going to do? I can’t get into my car!” *starts tearing up*

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s okay! Just use the key to open the door.”

    Customer: “It won’t open the door! It only starts the car. What are you, stupid?”

    (We go through this a couple more times before she caves in.)

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll try it your way!”

    (As expected, the door opens with key.)

    Customer: *condescending* “Well, how am I supposed to know that the key opens the door?!”

    We Prefer Our Privates Private

    | Edmonton, Canada | Health & Body

    (At my store we sell Saxx, a type of men’s boxer briefs that contains a “holder” for added support and comfort for men. These sell for around $25- $30. A customer is buying 2 pairs.)

    Me: “So, the Saxx will be final sale because they are an undergarment. Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “But why are they final sale? What if I decide I don’t like them?”

    Me: “Well, typically people don’t want to purchase products that have already been worn, especially underwear.”

    Customer: “But these are men’s underwear!”

    Me: “That doesn’t make a difference. For hygienic reasons, we can’t resell these. So, they’re a final sale.”

    Customer: “Fine! But I don’t see what the problem is. Men don’t care about that; only women do!”

    A Runaway Train Of Thought, Part 2

    | USA | Pets & Animals

    (An elderly couple enters the store and starts checking out our collection of animals.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yes, we would like a pet…maybe a cat, or a dog…”

    Woman: “…or a rabbit, or a turtle.”

    Man: “Yes. One of those…”

    Woman: “…or all of them.”

    Man: “Oh yeah, that’s possible too…”

    Woman: “…and a hamster. Don’t forget the hamster!”

    Man: “And a few birds…”

    Woman: “…or cake. I’d like cake…”

    Man: “…with a cup of coffee. ”

    Woman: “Yeah. That’s across the street. I see!”

    Man: *to me* “Okay, thank you sir. goodbye!”

    Me: *amused and confused* “Enjoy your cake…goodbye!”

    Related:
    A Runaway Train Of Thought

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