November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Too Hot, Too Cold, Therein Lies The Rib

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(A woman orders a rack of ribs. The menu clearly states that it is a FULL rack. When they are ready, I immediately bring them to her table.)

Customer: “Oh, my God, this is too much! Why didn’t you tell me this was so big? Can you bring these back and ask the chef to cut them in half and put half of them in a box?”

Me: “Oh, sure. I’ll be right back.”

(I go to the kitchen and tell the chef the customer’s request.)

Chef: “Doesn’t she know what a FULL RACK of ribs is?”

Me: “Apparently not.”

(He is annoyed, but cuts the rack in half, and boxes half. I bring the box and the remaining ribs back out to the customer.)

Customer: “Um, miss! These are cold! Why are you serving me cold food?”

Me: “Well, I’m very sorry; they must have cooled down while I was bringing them back and having him cut them for you. I would be happy to—”

Customer: “Go tell him to heat them up in a microwave! I’m not eating cold food!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, right away.”

(I bring the ribs back. The chef looks like he wants to murder me.)

Chef: “What now?”

Me: “She says they’re cold.”

Chef: “Give me the ribs.”

(He puts them in the microwave for two minutes, and they are piping hot when they come out.)

Chef: “Here, this should make her happy.”

(I bring the ribs back to the table a third time. The woman obviously sees the steam rising from the plate, but immediately grabs the ribs. She drops them, crying out in pain.)

Customer: “Ow! Why are these so hot? Don’t you test the food before you bring it out to make sure it’s not too hot?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have any way to test it. It should be cool enough to eat in just a few seconds.”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t test it? Just touch it!”

Me: “You want me to touch your food? With my hands?”

Customer: “Yes! I don’t see what’s so hard about that! You kids these days! Honestly!”

Me: “Enjoy your meal, ma’am.”

Putting The Z In Lazy

| New Zealand | Movies & TV

Customer: “Hi, do you have Zombieland?”

Me: “Sure, have you had a look in the DVD section under ‘Z’?”

Customer: “No, I wanted to see if you had stock first; could you check, please?”

Me: “The ‘Z’ section is right behind you, and I saw one earlier today so It should be there.”

Customer: “Can you check on your computer if you have any?”

(I walk out from behind counter, and pick up the DVD.)

Customer: “Oh! Where did you find it?”

Me: “Under ‘Z’, in the DVD section.”

Raining On Her Parade

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid

(It is raining outside. When it rains, water comes under the door to the garden section, which is located outside. A customer almost slips.)


Me: *points to wet floor sign in front of the door*

Customer: “Oh… sorry.”

(She scurries out to her car.)

Some Customers Have Good Taste

, | New York City, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a fast food chain. I have just finished dealing with an absolutely horrendous customer, but I cannot take a break yet. My boss is sympathetic, but a little strict about breaks. I steel myself for the next customer.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “One second, sorry.”

(She is writing something on a slip of paper.)

Customer: “Okay, thanks for waiting. Can I get some sweet tea? Also, that last guy was a jerk. Here!”

(She hands me the piece of paper. It says: ‘’.)

Customer: “If you need to feel better, then go here!”

(Thank you so much, miss! I had never heard of this site before today, and I’m so glad you were kind to me!)

Needs More Grey Matter

| Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(The craft store is in a part of town near a university. At the moment, friendship style bracelets made of embroidery floss are popular. A young customer in his first year of college comes in.)

Me: “Hi there! Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some string to make those bracelets with.”

Me: “Sure thing! Most people are using this embroidery floss to make them. It’s only 65 cents a piece!”

Customer: “Okay, great. I need some grey.”

Me: “Well, most of the neutrals are in this drawer.”

Customer: “These don’t have names. I need grey.”

Me: “I’m sorry; this particular brand doesn’t print color names on the labels. It looks like there are five different greys in this drawer here.”

(I pull out a grey and hand it to him.)

Customer: “I can’t buy this. How am I supposed to know what color it is if it doesn’t say? Is this grey? It doesn’t say if it’s grey. I need grey.”

(He leaves.)

Me: *speechless*