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    Words Fail Me

    | Michigan, USA | School

    (A student comes in to the Registrar’s office to pick up a transcript. After discovering that she never placed an order, I tell her to place the order so that it will be ready in the afternoon. After checking the system over the course of several hours and not seeing the order, I call the student.)

    Me: “Yes, I see you still have not placed your order.”

    Student: “I placed it hours ago!”

    Me: “Uh oh, I hope something is not wrong with our system. Did you get confirmation that the order went through?”

    Student: “Yes! I still have it up right here on my screen. It says right here: ‘Transaction Failed’!”

    To Some, Time Is A Foreign Concept

    | Duncan, BC, Canada |

    (I’m standing behind the counter at the postal outlet. We have a stand in front of the counter with a sign that shows our hours in military time. I notice a customer staring at the sign for a very long time.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “What is ’20:00′?”

    Me: “20:00 means 8 pm.”

    Customer: “Oh. You should put the times in English.”

    Less Is More, More Or Less

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money, Top

    Me: “Hi! What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I have two coupons here. One is a large pizza, four sodas, and 70 tokens for $29.99. The other is for a large pizza, four sodas, wings, and 110 tokens for $29.99. Which one is better?”

    Me: “Well, I’d personally go with the second one. It’s the same price, plus you get an extra order of wings and 40 more tokens.”

    Customer: “You’re just trying to get more money off of me, so you picked the worse deal. I’ll take the first coupon, idiot!”

    One Immune System Boost, Please

    | California, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a shake/smoothie shop that specializes in healthy shakes with organic ingredients blended before the customer’s eyes. A woman who looks to be in her late 30s walks in and looks at the menu a while.)

    Customer: “What ingredients can you put in a shake?

    Me: “Well, we can include ground flax seed, hemp, wheat germ—”

    Customer: “What? You put germs in your shakes?!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I said wheat germ—”

    Customer: “I heard what you said! You said germs! I can’t believe you put germs in your shakes! Wait until I tell everyone how filthy you are!” *storms out*

    Let Me Give You A Pita My Mind

    , | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, there. What could I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Uh, do you guys sell slices?”

    Me: “No, this is a pita shop.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have pizza?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, what do you have?”

    Me: “Pitas. We’re a pita shop.”

    Customer: “Well, what’s a pita?”

    Me: “It’s like a wrap.”

    Customer: “That’s gross!”

    Related:
    Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind, Part 2
    Let Me Give You A Pizza My Mind
    Giving A Pizza My Mind


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