(A customer calls in to order tickets.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [theater], how can I help you?”
Caller: “I need to order tickets to see your show!”
Me: “Alright then, and which show were you looking for?”
Caller: “You mean there’s more than one?!”
Me: “That’s right, we have 6 shows in our season, and 12 from people who rent our space.”
Caller: “Well, I don’t like that many choices!”
Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. Maybe we can narrow it down. Would you like to see one of our current shows or something within the month?”
Caller: “What Month is this?!”
Me: “It’s January.”
Caller: “No, I don’t like January! What else is there?”
Me: *pause* “February?”
Caller: “Hmm. February. FEB-ruary. F-F-F-Feb. No, I don’t like that either!”
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2,061 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [supermarket]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hey, can I speak to someone in the ladies wear department?”
Me: “That’d be me. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I bought some scrubs at another store and I was wondering what the ‘S/CH’ on the tag means?”
Me: “It means it’s a small.”
Customer: “But what does the ‘CH’ mean?”
Me: “It’s the Spanish abbreviation for small.”
Customer: “But ‘CH’; isn’t that American?”
Me: “The letters C and H are used in a lot of different languages, including Spanish.”
Customer: “Oh, how strange!”
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1,915 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: “What’s in the White Chocolate Macadamia cookie?”
Me: “White chocolate and macadamias.”
Customer: “Oh, duh,. That was a stupid question.”
Me: “It’s okay, people ask me all the time what kind of nuts are in the ‘Chocolate Almond Joy’.”
Customer: “Oh yeah, ha ha! Walnuts!”
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2,827 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “What can I help you with today, sir?”
Customer: “Well for starters, you can talk to that girl at the front desk. She made me fill out so much paperwork!”
Me: “I’m sorry. She must have been mistaken. Can you show me the forms you were asked to complete?”
Customer: “No. I don’t have them.”
Me: *confused* “Where are they?”
(The man proceeds to lead me to the front desk and gestures at the sign-in sheet where visitors are asked to write their name and zip code.)
Customer: “This! She made me write all this!”
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1,881 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”
Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”
Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”
Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”
Me: “So you already called to report it?”
Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”
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1,521 Thumbs Up!)
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