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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Some Were Born To Please

    | Panama City, FL, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like the banana bread.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be $1.95.”

    Customer: “You have a weird face.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I don’t like your face! I want an apology now!”

    Me: “Um…I’m sorry you don’t like my face?”

    Customer: “Thank you!” *walks away*

    Customer #2: “Well, I like your face.”

    When The Not Blind Lead The Blind

    | Sydney, Australia |

    (I work in a shop with several shelves of vitamins and herbal products. A man walks into the store and straight up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Vitamins.”

    Me: “What kind are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Eyes.”

    (He starts to scan the shelves with admirable inefficiency.)

    Me: “These ones?”

    (I point at the supplements specifically for eyesight.)

    Customer: “No.”

    (He scans shelves some more.)

    Customer: “I can’t see them! You’re useless!”

    (He throws his hands in the air and storms out of the store.)

    Cordless & Clueless

    | Yorkshire, UK | Technology

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cordless phone.”

    Me: “No problem, they’re just over here.”

    Customer: ‘I’m wanting one without batteries and that you plug into the mains, do you have any?”

    Me: “That would defeat the point of a cordless phone wouldn’t it?”

    Customer: “No, I had one last time!”

    Me: “Was it like this?”

    (I show her the corded phones.)

    Customer: “Yes! See, a cordless phone you plug in!”

    Related:
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
    Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6

    Narcoleptic Nancy’s Inconvenient Nap

    | New Jersey, USA |

    (There are a dozen people in line waiting for three fitting rooms.)

    Customer: “Someone’s been inside room #1 for a long time.”

    (I walk over and the other customers confirm. I’m told no one has come out of that particular room for 15 minutes. The door is indeed locked. I knock and there’s no response. I knock harder and still no response.)

    Me: “That’s weird. The door is locked, not stuck. It can only be locked from the inside or with a key. Did you see who went in there?”

    Customer: “Yes, some lady.”

    (I bang on the door this time. Again, no response. I go to get the key and open the door. Inside is a fully dressed lady sitting on the bench sleeping. Store clothes are strewn on the floor. I have to shake her to wake her up.)

    Lady: *slurred* “What?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re sleeping in our fitting room and there’s a line of people waiting. You weren’t responding when we knocked, so I had to come in to check on you.”

    Lady: “Oh! My goodness, I’m so sorry! I’m really tired, and on top of that, I’m a very sound sleeper!”

    Limited Only By Your Intelligence

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    Customer: “Is there a limit to the cash I can get back?”

    Me: “Yes, the limit is 50 dollars.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. It says I can put in a number rather than one of the options?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s true.”

    (The machine pops up an alarm saying that the cash back limit has been passed.)

    Customer: “I asked for 60 back. Did that confuse it?”

    Me: “Yes, the limit is 50 dollars.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought that by putting in my own number, I could bypass the limit.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the limit is always 50 dollars.”

    Customer: *re-swipes card* “I see. The limit is 40 dollars.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. The limit is 50 dollars.”

    Customer: “But the options given only go up to 40.”

    Me: “Yes, but you can put up to 50 dollars in the custom number option.”

    Customer: “No, that doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Yes, it does but you have to put less than 50. 50 is the limit.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about and I–”

    (The transaction finishes processing.)

    Me: “Here’s your 40 dollars. Have a nice day, ma’am.”


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