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    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 3

    | Copaigue, NY, USA | Wild & Unruly

    (I am bringing shopping carts back into my workplace when I see a grown man, in a business suit, running with his cart to pick up speed and then riding on the back of it. As I keep walking towards the building, I walk past a woman.)

    Woman: *disgusted* “I don’t know him.”

    Me: “It’s okay. Boys will be boys!”

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    Size Matters, Part 4

    | London, UK |

    (I’m working on the till in a branch of a well-known chain of coffee shops. The sizes of the drinks are tall, grande, and venti instead of small, medium and large.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [coffee shop]. What can I get you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a latte to go, please.”

    Me: “Of course, sir. What size latte?”

    Customer: “Just a small one.”

    Me: mumbling as I write the order* “Tall latte–”

    Customer: “No! I said small, not tall.”

    Me: “A tall drink is small, sir.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want a tall drink. I just want a latte in the smallest size you have.”

    Me: *apologetic* “My mistake, sir. One small latte coming up.”

    (The customer pays me for his drink and I direct him to the end of the bar to wait for his coffee whilst my coworker makes it for him. When it is ready, my coworker places it on the bar in front of the customer and asks if the “Tall Latte” is his.)

    Customer: *at full volume* “You people can’t do anything right! I asked for a SMALL coffee several times. This isn’t my drink but I don’t have time for you to remake it because I’m late for work. I will be calling in tomorrow and if you get it wrong again I will have you both fired!” *storms out*

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    The True Burden Of Society

    | North Carolina, USA |

    (I am working customer service at a well-known bookstore, and have just completed filling an order for an elderly woman over the phone.)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, that takes care of that order. It’ll be here in a week and we’ll call you once it’s received.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, thank you very much. You’ve been a real help.”

    Me: “It’s no problem, ma’am. You have a good d–”

    Customer: “How dare you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “How dare you say it was nothing to help me! As if helping me means nothing!”

    Me: *dumbfounded and a bit shocked*

    (At this point, the customer launches into a full-blown tirade against “my generation” and “young workers” who have “no respect for their elders.”)

    Customer: “And it’s just, you know, despicable how they can let you get away with something like this! I think that you all should–”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “And I just think that–”

    Me: “Ma’am.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “Have a pleasant day, ma’am.” *hangs up*

    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5

    | Australia | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Note: 40 degrees Celsius is about 104 degrees Fahrenheit.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hi, I’ll need you to come and pick up your son right away. He’s not feeling very well.”

    Mother: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “He’s running a 40 degree temperature.”

    Mother: “Oh. No, he’s fine. That’s normal.”

    Me: “Uh, I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “Don’t worry about him, love. That’s normal. He’s a werewolf, you know. Werewolves run hot. Didn’t you know that?”

    (It takes me a few moments, but I realize she’s perfectly serious.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still think you need to take him to the doctor.”

    Mother: “Ugh, fine. I’ll come and get him, but the doctor will only say what I told you!”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    The Art Of Ignorance

    | Canberra, Australia | Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m working as concierge in a popular hotel in the city. At this time, there is a popular exhibition at the National Art Gallery featuring a number of Renaissance artists. I’ve just sold some tickets to a woman in her 40s.)

    Guest: “Thank you for these. I just love the classics!”

    Me: “Yes, the Renaissance exhibition is getting very popular.”

    Guest: “Still, it’s not as exciting as that French artist…What’s his name? Oh, Machiavelli!”

    Me: *confused* “Oh, you mean Monet?”

    Guest: *angry* “No! I mean MACHIAVELLI! Jeez, why am I even explaining this to a concierge?! It isn’t like you guys even understand what art is!” *walks off haughtily*


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