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  • Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Kick Off Your Sunday Shoe Store

    | LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

    (I am out shopping with two of my cousins. They decide we need to look at shoes. The store is nearly empty and they have a local oldies station playing. ‘Footloose’ comes on as they’re browsing the shoes.)

    Me: “Ooh! Footloose! I love this song!”

    Cousin #1: “Just don’t—”

    (Before she can finish her sentence, I start dancing to the music. She and her sister hide their faces and walk off to look at shoes in another part of the store. The two employees, who had looked bored to tears, start laughing and clapping as I dance around the shoe fitting area. When the song ends, I plop down on one of the seats to catch my breath.)

    Cousin #2: “We can’t take you anywhere!”

    Employee #1: “Oh, she didn’t hurt anyone!”

    Employee #2: “In fact, she just made our day! Thank you!”

    Me: *grinning* “I work with the public, and I know the bad customers outweigh the good, so I figured I would brighten your day!”

    Makes You Lose CTRL

    | USA | Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My caller is having an issue with our website that I can’t replicate.)

    Me:“Do you know how to create a screen shot and e-mail it to me? If not, I can walk you through it.”

    Caller: “I have Windows 8. I could make a screen shot on my old computer, but you can’t make one on Windows 8.”

    (As I use Windows 8 myself, I know this isn’t true.)

    Me: “Let’s try and see if we can get it. Do you see the button on your keyboard that says ‘print scr’—”

    Caller: “Honey, I worked as a tech for 10 years. If you want me to hit the Print Screen button, just say so. There!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I just wanted to make sure you knew where it was, but it sounds like you do. It’s actually alt and the print screen button.”

    Caller: “Fine, now what?”

    (I assume that she really does know a little about computers, considering the offense she took at my previous instructions. Not wanting to upset her, I decide to continue a bit faster.)

    Me: “Okay, now you can paste that into an e-mail for me. Just let me know when you’re ready for my e-mail address.”

    Caller: “I’m ready.”

    (I give her my e-mail address, spelling it out.)

    Me: “I’ll have a look at that screen shot as soon as I get your e-mail, and—”

    Caller: “Well, it won’t do much good for you to get a blank e-mail, will it?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “You didn’t tell me what to do with the screen shot!”

    Me: “Oh, you can just paste it into the e-mail.”

    (I’m about to ask if she knows how to do that ‘on Windows 8′.)

    Caller: “Well, I’m hitting CTRL+P, and it’s not working!”

    Me: “Try CTRL+V instea—”

    Caller: “Never mind! It’s right click, then paste on my computer. I sent it. Let me know when it’s fixed.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I will.”

    (I never did get that e-mail, and had to call her back the next day to repeat the whole process again.)

    Customers Wanted

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    Racism And Ignorance Go Hand In Hand

    | USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m babysitting my three-year-old neighbor, and I bring him to a nearby park. A woman approaches.)

    Woman: “How dare you!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Woman: “I can’t believe you’re bringing your kid out in public like this! You’re setting a bad example for our kids! It’s like you’re saying that teenage pregnancy is alright!”

    Me: “Ma’am, are you saying that I had a kid at age twelve?”

    Woman: “At age twelve? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that kid is my neighbor.”

    Woman: “I’m not going to fall for that! You’re both Chinese! You look exactly like each other!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m Chinese, but he’s Korean.”

    (The woman turns bright red and stomps off.)

    Customers Are Like Popcorn, Sweet Or Salty

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV

    (It is a busy weekend. I have been left alone at the register during a rush. I have had several drinks spilled on myself and my register terminal, and have had countless angry customers berate me. By the time the rush dies down, I am on edge. A couple approaches my till.)

    Me: “Welcome to [theater]; can I help you with anything today?”

    Wife: “Our movie doesn’t start for a half hour.”

    Me: “I… um… to be honest, ma’am, I don’t know what to do about that.”

    (I wait for her to start swearing at me, but instead, she and her husband laugh.)

    Wife: “Oh, no! We were just letting you know that we’re in no rush, and not buying anything right now. We’re not complaining!”

    Husband: “We’re definitely not complainers. We’ve been behind the counter, and we understand.”

    Me: “Oh, okay!”

    Wife: “That’s a stupid thing to complain about, anyway! Do people actually complain about things like that?”

    Me: “I’ve had stranger. A woman reported me for being too nice.”

    Husband: “Well, she was just plain salty, wasn’t she?”

    (They strike up a conversation with me for fifteen minutes about candy and customers, and the military pins on my lanyard. When their movie ends, they smile and wave goodbye. They completely turn around my evening, and I complete the shift in a brighter mood. A little kindness goes a long way!)

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