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    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Books & Reading

    (I work in the large children’s section of a popular independent bookstore in our area.)

    Customer: “Do you guys carry those train wreck books?”

    Me: “Hmmm, I’m not familiar with anything like that. Is it a series, or maybe something from non-fiction?”

    Customer: “Yeah, It’s a series. The Trainwreck Kids!”

    (A light bulb goes on in my head.)

    Me: “Oh, wait, do you mean The Boxcar Children?”

    Customer: *blushes and starts to laugh* “Yeah, that’s it!”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    Financially Bankrupt, Circumstantially Bereft, And Substantially Boneheaded

    | South Carolina, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work for the financial aid department at a local tech school. A student comes in and asks about his student loans.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Student: *dismayed response* “Yeah, I want to check my student loans request.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Can I get a student ID number?”

    Student: “I ain’t got one.”

    Me: “Can I have your last and first name?”

    Student: “Yeah.”

    (There’s an awkward silence as he doesn’t say anything.)

    Me: “Sir, may I get your last and first name?”

    Student: *gives name*

    (I search for the student, but can’t find him.)

    Me: “Sir, are you a student here?”

    Student: “I ain’t got time for this! I want my money!”

    Me: “Sir, you have to be a student to get student loans.”

    Student: *shocked* “Oh, s***, really?”

    Time For A New Brain

    , | Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work for a cable company in a call center. This is the end of a conversation I have with a customer.)

    Me: “Anything else I can help you with today?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes! I do have a question. There are these numbers on my cable box that keep changing. What are they? Like, right now, it says 5-4-7.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s the time.”

    Options: Good To Have, Not To Exercise

    | London, UK | Food & Drink

    (A customer runs up to the till looking rather angry.)

    Customer: “Do you have any Pepsi?”

    Me: “Yes, we do. Would you like a–”

    Customer: “Do you have any Coca-Cola?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Customer: “I’ll have a water, then!”

    Caution: Wet Weather May Be Wet

    | Avondale, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work as a cashier at a well-known arts and crafts store. This particular day, it is raining very heavily, which is rare in Arizona.)

    Customer: *walking over to myself and other cashier* “Excuse me, it is wet outside. I almost slipped.”

    Me: “Sorry about that, ma’am. Are you okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, but you need to put a wet floor sign outside so people are aware that it is wet.”

    Coworker: “It’s raining, ma’am. I think people know the ground will be wet.”

    Customer: “No, they won’t! Because I didn’t!” *storms out the store*


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