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    Intellectual Stimulation: Not Self Perpetuating

    | Edinburgh, UK |

    (I work in a market research call center. I carry out all kinds of surveys on behalf of various organizations. On this particular day, we are calling final year undergraduate university students to ask them for some feedback on their university course. Bear in mind this person has spent the past 3 years studying at university.)

    Me: “On a scale of 1-10, 10 being very and 1 not at all, how intellectually stimulating would you say your course was?”

    Student: “What does intellectually stimulating mean?”

    Equal Opportunity Confusion

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Bigotry

    (I am a female employee at a popular home improvement retailer, where I get a lot of sexist comments. A male customer nearby looks confused.)

    Me: “Sir, is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “I’m going to say yes, because I don’t discriminate.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5

    | Central Florida, USA | Geography

    (This is during the 2008 primaries. Our library has been set up as an early voting center. We have information sheets to help the voters make their choices.)

    Customer: “I just don’t know what I should do. These things are so confusing. Who did you vote for?”

    Me: “I didn’t vote.”

    Customer: “That’s what’s wrong with you young people today. No ethics.”

    Me: “You misunderstand. I didn’t vote because I can’t vote.”

    Customer: *shocked* “Oh MY GOD! You’re a FELON? Why would they let a FELON work here?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. No. I’m not a citizen.”

    Customer: “Oh. You’re just saying that aren’t you?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not a citizen. Would you like to see my green card?”

    Customer: “So, you’re from Canada?”

    Me: “No, I’m from Europe.”

    Customer: “That’s in Canada, isn’t it?”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Ethnically Ethical

    , | Wichita, KS, USA |

    (An older lady is asking me for help with her shopping list.)

    Customer: “Sir, do you…well, I don’t really know if I can say this out loud, but do you have this video game?”

    (The customer points at her list to the game title, “Ethnic Mickey”, which doesn’t exist. We sell “Epic Mickey”.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am…we have Epic Mickey, if that helps.”

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness. Here I was, worried about the title and if it was appropriate. We spoke over the phone, so I guess I misheard.”

    Actividad Paranormal

    | Washington, USA | Bizarre

    (An older latino woman comes into the shop speaking rapidly in Spanish.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: *continues to speak rapidly in Spanish*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish, but I can get somebody who can.”

    (I go to the back to get one of the other employees that speaks Spanish. After a few minutes, my coworker comes back shacking his head.)

    Me: “What did the woman want?”

    Coworker: “She’s not right.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Coworker: “She says that we have the spirit of a murdered boy in our basement.”

    Me: “But we don’t have a basement.”

    Coworker: “Exactly.”


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