(A customer of about 85 years old approaches customer service. It is Father’s Day.)
Customer: “Where do you keep your belts?”
Me: “Over in the men’s department.”
Customer: “And where do you keep your grooming sets?”
Me: “In the men’s department as well.”
Customer: “Oh thanks! I’m buying a Father’s day present for my Dad and Grandfather!”
(I tell him he’s welcome and turn back to what I was doing. I noticed a few seconds later he’s still there.)
Me: “Is there something else I can help you with?”
Customer: *grinning widely* “Do you believe me?!”

(
3,022 Thumbs Up!)
(We have booths at which we can only seat groups of 3 or more. There is a couple with their young child sitting in one. A couple came in and I went to seat them.)
Me: “Hi, are you here to eat, or are you just having some drinks?”
Customer: “Eating, can we take a booth?”
Me: “Sorry, but we need to save them for groups of three or more.”
Customer: “What about them?” *motions at the couple with their child*
Me: “They have 3 people sitting there.”
Customer: “What? Babies aren’t people!”

(
2,683 Thumbs Up!)
(A young little girl walks up to the one of the cashiers.)
Girl: “Do you have any [video game console]?”
Me: “I’m sorry, sweetie. We’re all out right now.”
Girl: “Can you go in the back and make one?”
Me: “We can’t make [consoles]. We get shipped the [consoles] to sell.”
(With a sullen look, the little girl walks away and comes back soon after with her mother.)
Mother: “You don’t have any [consoles] currently?”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we do not.”
Mother: “Well, can you go in the back and make one?”

(
3,013 Thumbs Up!)
(I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)
Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”
Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”
Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”

(
1,833 Thumbs Up!)
Customer: *places foil wrapped ham on counter* “I ordered a spiral sliced ham and you gave me a turkey!”
Me: “Okay, let me just see the turkey.” *I open the foil and see that it is definitely a ham* “Ma’am, this is a ham.”
Customer: “No, it’s not. That is a turkey! I think I know what ham looks like.”
Me: “Can you see the bone and the pinkish color? The turkey is boneless and white.”
Customer: “I know what a ham looks like and that is a turkey!”
Me: “I assure you it’s a ham. Would you like to sample it?”
(She samples the ham and looks flustered.)
Customer: “Oh just give me whatever the h*** that thing is!”
Related:
Not To La-Boar The Point, Part 2
Not To La-Boar The Point

(
1,346 Thumbs Up!)