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    Future Treasury Secretaries Of America

    | Snellville, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (I am a customer at a sporting goods store. As I am walking towards the restroom, I hear a little boy asking his mom to buy him something.)

    Boy: “Mommy, I want this!”

    Mom: “No, honey, we’re not going to buy that. Let’s go.”

    Boy: “But why?”

    Mom: “We’re not going to buy it because it is a waste of money!”

    Boy: “But we can just buy more money!”

    You Didn’t Hear It Foam Me

    , | Hamilton, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am explaining to a customer that his cellphone is not covered under warranty because is suffering from water damage.)

    Customer: “But I didn’t get it wet!”

    Me: “You told me you took it to the foam night party at the local bar.”

    Customer: “Yes, but that’s foam, not liquid.”

    Me: “Did you notice that you came out wet, though?”

    Customer: “Yes, but it’s not water! How can it be liquid damage?!”

    Peek A Peck Of Peekers in Peckville

    | Scranton, PA, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like the number for [corporation] in Peekville, Pennsylvania. They sent me the wrong pants and I want to complain.”

    Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville showing in Pennsylvania, but you’re in luck. I’m from the area and actually applied for that company when I applied here. I believe you mean Peckville.”

    Customer: “I said Peek-ville, Pennsylvania.”

    Me: “Sir, there is no Peekville in Pennsylvania. Is there another town you would like me to try?”

    Customer: “There has to be a Peekville. The package came from there.”

    Me: “Sir, how do you spell Peekville?”

    Customer: “P-E-C-K-V-I-L-L-E.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, let me get that for you.”

    Half Cooked For The Half Minded

    | Sydney, Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like half a chicken please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we seem to be out. The next load should be ready in about 15-20 minutes.”

    Customer: “But I just want a half, not a whole one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about the wait. As soon as they finish cooking, I will cut you one straight away.”

    Customer: “But I just want a half! Can’t you just get one out of the oven now and cut it for me?”

    Me: “Um, no. If I took one out early and cut it, it wouldn’t be cooked in the middle.”

    Customer: “But I only want a half chicken! It should take less time to cook than a whole one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to wait for them to finish. I promise I will cut you one straight away.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult for me to buy half a chicken!” *storms off*

    Losing Faith In Humanity, Bit By Bit

    | New Jersey, USA | Technology

    (I help set up new computers. I set up a new system for a user last week, and didn’t get to finish because she was out of office. She comes in today looking rather irritated.)

    User: “I want all my 64 bits.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    User: “My new computer has Windows 7, right?”

    Me: “Yes, it does. Is there something wrong with it?”

    User: “You do know that means it uses up 7 bits, right?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    User: “So, I want all of my 64 bits back!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work–”

    User: “Never mind! You’re useless!” *storms out*


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