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    She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2

    | Brisbane, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Underaged

    (I work in a well-known alcohol retailer. There are a number of signs that state in large, bold print that it is illegal to purchase alcohol for minors all over the store. Also, for our store there is no “the customer is always right” rule when dealing with alcohol: the law takes precedence. Anyway, I’m preparing to close the store when a woman rushes in).

    Customer: “Thank f*** you’re still open! I need a present for my daughter’s 16th birthday. She loves bourbon. What do you recommend?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, did you just say “16th” birthday? Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but it is illegal to purchase alcohol for minors. I cannot serve you, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store.”

    Customer: “What the f*** are you talking about? She’s my daughter. I can buy her booze if I want to!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid not. As these signs quite clearly state, it is illegal to purchase or supply alcohol to a minor. This does not make a distinction as to whether you’re a parent or not. Truth be told, as a parent, you should know better.”

    Customer: “She’s my f***ing daughter and I’ll buy her f***ing alcohol if I f***ing want to! Now shut the f*** up and do your job!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am doing my job. Obeying the law is a very big part of my job, as [corporation name] takes a very dim view of staff members who breach the responsible service of alcohol laws. Now please leave my store.”

    Customer: “F*** YOU THEN! I’m not buying the booze for her. I’m buying it for me! Now f*** you and sell it to me!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am…you’ve already told me it’s for her. I’m not selling you anything. What you’re asking me, a complete stranger, to do is break a Federal Law and put myself at risk of over $90,000 in fines, the loss of my job and never being able to work anywhere that sells alcohol again. I’m not willing to do that for my family, so why would I do that for a rude customer?”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you think you are to say no to me? Do you know who I am?!”

    Me: “Someone who has absolutely no care for the law, her children or their well-being, and had better get the f*** out of my store right now before I physically throw you out and call the police?”

    Customer: *shuts up and flees*

    Related:
    He Fought The Law, And The Law Won
    She Fought The Law, And The Law Won

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

    | Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

    Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

    Customer: “I have my ID though!”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

    Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

    The Proof Is In The Package

    | California, USA |

    Caller: “I need to track a couple of shipments. Can you look those up for me?”

    Me: “Sure. What are the invoice numbers?”

    Caller: “The tracking numbers are [tracking numbers].”

    Me: “I see that both deliveries were made last week. Do you think the boxes were lost in transit?”

    Caller: “No, they’re right here on my desk. I just need proof that they were delivered.”

    Me: *temporarily speechless* “Well, have a nice day!”

    Caller: “You do the same!”

    Please Don’t Get P’ed Off

    | North Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m walking towards a children’s movie to clean it out after the show. A woman and her son walk out and wave me over.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am? How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but my son had an accident in your theater.”

    Me: “What kind of accident?”

    Customer: “He peed in the seat. He was so busy watching the movie that he forgot to go.”

    Me: “I understand. If you could just tell me which seats you were sitting in, I’ll go clean them out.”

    Customer: “The ones with the pee in the seat, I think…”

    You’re Really Pushing My Buttons Today

    | Oregon, USA | Technology

    (I am an administrator at a computer lab.)

    User: “Hey, can I use one of your computers?”

    Me: “Sure, station #3 is free.”

    User: “But the screen is dark.”

    Me: “It’s just the screen saver. Press a button, and it’ll go away.”

    (She presses the power button, effectively turning the computer off.)

    User: “But it’s still dark!”

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