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    Good Luck Getting A Word In Equal-wise

    | Norway | Spouses & Partners

    (I work for a power company. When we call up a customer, we only get the name of the person the bills are sent to, and it’s not unusual for us to speak with his or her spouse instead. This was apparently the case here. It should be noted that I am female.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [my name] from [power company]. Is [husband's name] available?”

    Customer: “Let me tell you, in this house, we are equal! I want nothing of that around here!”

    Me: “I am very sorry if you took offence, ma’am, but I only saw your husband’s name on my screen—”

    Customer: “Well, we are equal! If you’re going to come here with that kind of thing, I want nothing more to do with you!”

    Me: “Yes, I do apologise, but—”

    Customer: “If that is how you people treat us, you can forget about us being customers! In this house, we’re equal!”

    Me: “I am very sorry, and I apologize for any inconvenience!”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Due Tonight Vs. Do Tonight

    | Illinois, USA | School

    (I’m a librarian in a university library. It’s almost 5 PM and I’m getting ready to go home.)

    Student: “Hi, I have a research paper and I don’t know how to find sources for it.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s your topic?”

    Student: “It’s [topic].”

    Me: “That one might be tough to find a lot of information on. When is the paper due?”

    Student: “Midnight.”

    Shocking Mystery Solved

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Religion, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I work in the call center of a public library. Occasionally, we get strange callers just because it is free and we are required to talk to them.)

    Caller: “You need to help me! The Mormons are giving electric shocks to my genitals through my windows!”

    Me: “Um, this is a library, I’m not sure what—”

    Caller: “You have to help me! I called the police but they won’t help me. They say I’m crazy. It’s the Mormons! They keep shocking my genitals!”

    Me: “Well, uh, let me put you on hold for a second.”

    (I put her on hold and call out the situation to the other librarians in the call center. One of them happens to be Mormon.)

    Me: “I have a caller who claims Mormons are shocking her genitals through her windows.”

    Mormon coworker: “We are.”

    No, It’s Because The Owner Is Stupid

    | London, UK | Pets & Animals

    (A man brings his dog into our supermarket.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there are no dogs allowed inside unless it is a service dog.”

    Customer: *with straight face* “It’s because my dog is black, isn’t it? I could sue you!”

    No Obamacare For You

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Bigotry

    (Although I was born in California and have lived here my entire life, my dad is from Australia, and I have picked up some of his speaking mannerisms. In consequence, when I say “Yeah”, it sounds like “Yeh”.)

    Customer: “Can I slide my card through, miss?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s ready!”

    Customer: “Actually, sorry, I don’t support illegal immigrants.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You talk funny! You’re an illegal immigrant!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I was born here. I just have my accent from a parent who was not an illegal immigrant.”

    Customer: “No! You aren’t allowed to be here! I’ll be notifying the president about this!” *stomps out without her merchandise*

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