November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I am pushing a trolley with my baby in the child seat. My top is a similar colour to the staff uniform, but a very different style.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are the vitamin waters?”

Me: “I don’t know. Did you look down the soft drink aisle?”

Customer: “You aren’t going to show me?”

Me: “No, why would I do that?”

Customer: “It’s your job! I’m going to talk to the manager about you!”

Me: “I don’t work here; I’m just shopping.”

Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! I saw you put that milk back; you’re re-stocking shelves and you just don’t want to help me!”

(A manager walks past. The customer grabs him and drags him over.)

Customer: “This woman refuses to help me!”

Manager: “She doesn’t work here, so she doesn’t have to. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Of course she works here; she’s wearing your uniform! How dare you cover for her laziness! I’m reporting you to head office!”

Manager: “Ma’am, look at her trolley; we don’t sell babies. She’s shopping; she does not work here. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry. I was looking for the vitamin waters… sorry…”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him

| Absecon, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am a 20-year-old girl, with several tattoos. Only the clover on my wrist is visible. An older customer comes in at least once a week.)

Older Customer: “What happens when you get older and the tattoo looks bad?”

Me: “That’s part of the experience of having a tattoo; it grows with you. Plus, I’m Irish, so it’s part of my heritage. It’s not like I’m going to regret it.”

Customer: “Yes, you will. When you get old, it will get ugly, and you’ll hate it.”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but it’s my heritage. That is not something I will hate. And even if it does get ugly, the rest of me will be wrinkled too. And really, it isn’t any of your business or concern what I do to my body.”

(A male coworker comes up, who also has a visible tattoo. The customer says nothing to him.)

Me: “What about his tattoo?”

Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter; he’s a man. Women just shouldn’t get tattoos. They’ll make them ugly later on.”

Must Have An Ex-Wife

| UT, USA | Language & Words

(I am providing a customer a temporary password.)

Me: “That is ‘X’, like X-ray.”

Customer: “X-ray starts with an ‘E’. Didn’t you go to school?”

Me: “X-ray starts with an ‘X’, sir.”

Customer: “Fine, have it your way, then!”

A Minor Mistake

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

(I’m currently a high school student. I look really young, about 12 or 13, so I’m not hit on very often. A customer aged about 30 walks up to me, smirking.)

Customer: “Remember when I asked you out two years ago, and you turned me down because you said you live too far away? Well, look where we are now. I have a job at [local corporate headquarters], and you clean up people’s trash at a movie theater.”

(He drops trash on the ground.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not who you think I am. I go to [local high school]. Also, I only date girls.”

(The customer slowly realizes that I am both a minor and a lesbian.)

Customer: “Oh. I’m way off, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(The customer picks up his trash, and scurries off with a sheepish look on his face.)

Of Waiting And Berating

| Gardena, CA, USA | Health & Body

(I am visiting my doctor’s office. There is some extensive road work going on in the surrounding area, so several people have arrived late, including me. The office is extremely busy and crowded, and the receptionist is looking very harassed.)

Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived more than 15 minutes late for your appointment. The doctor won’t be able to see you now. However, if you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available window, or you can reschedule.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll wait.”

(I take a seat and begin to read. Meanwhile, another lady goes up to the receptionist.)

Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived outside of the 15 minute window we allow for your appointment, so the doctor won’t be able to see you now. If you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available slot, or we can reschedule you.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I was only two minutes past the 15 minute window! I shouldn’t have to reschedule just because of two minutes!”

Me: “Then maybe you shouldn’t have been 17 minutes late.”

(The customer glares at me, but continues to rant at the receptionist.)

Customer: “Why should I have to arrive on time anyway? You doctors don’t understand what it’s like for us, always having to wait! We always have to wait for you doctors; it should go both ways! You should wait for us! With as much as I’m paying, you should wait for us!”

Me: “Look, lady, I was late for my appointment, too. That was my fault, and I accepted it like an adult. In case you hadn’t noticed, this clinic is very full today and the doctor is too busy to wait for you to decide to show up! Now you can either sit down and wait like the rest of us, or reschedule and leave!”

(The customer goes and sits down. She continues to rant about how unfair this is, and how much more important her time is than the rest of ours. After about 10 minutes, she stands up again.)

Customer: “I can’t wait this ridiculous amount of time!”

(She reschedules with the receptionist. The best part? They found an open slot for my appointment only 15 minutes later!)