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    The Art Of Switching Sides

    | Massachusetts, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I work at a hotel that serves free breakfast to its guests. I’m setting it up when this encounter happens.)

    Guest: “I just heard you cough back there!”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s just a small cough. I’m just getting over a cold.”

    Guest: “I’m going to report you to the board of health!”

    Me: “For coughing?”

    Guest: “Yes, for coughing! You’re serving food and I know you’re coughing all over it! I can see the germs crawling all over the food!”

    Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, I’m not coughing on the food. I wouldn’t want to eat coughed on food so I wouldn’t serve it.”

    Guest: “I know how you hotel people are! You want all the guests to get sick so they’ll leave and you can sit on your lazy asses all day!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if no one showed up to the hotel I wouldn’t have a job. I assure you I didn’t cough on the food.”

    (Suddenly, the guest changes her tone and attitude as if nothing had happened.)

    Guest: “Well, if I were you, I would. Some people are so rude. They think they can just barge in and walk all over girls like you, making ridiculous accusations and get away with it. Bless your soul for being such a moral girl.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Guest: “You have a wonderful day! Thanks for setting breakfast up for us early risers.”

    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name, Part 2

    | Canton, MI, USA |

    Me: “Photo and Media department, this is Kat. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, yes…Hi, Jennifer. I was wondering if you had a certain item in stock…”

    Related:
    Say My Name, (Don’t) Say My Name

    A Debt Of Debts

    | Wisconsin, USA | Money

    (We have a store credit card which you can pay at any register. I am working in customer service and an older lady approaches.)

    Me: “How may I help you today?”

    Customer: *shoves her bill towards me* “I just want to pay this ALL off! I told my daughter, I don’t want to owe anything! I just HATE to owe!”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. Let me just process this payment for you.”

    Customer: *writing a check* “Yes, I just can’t OWE all this money. I don’t like it!”

    Me: “Well, here we go. It’s all taken care of! Now you don’t owe anything.”

    Customer: “I forgot to ask. Can I purchase a gift card here?”

    Me: “Certainly. I can help you with that!” *starts to ring up gift card*

    Customer: “Now, can I put that on my [store] card?”

    Coming Soon To Not Always Right: Zombies vs. Customers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

    Okay, the Zombie Apocalypse isn’t really upon us—but it’s hard to think of anything worse, right?

    What’s that, you say? Ah, yes, of course—dealing with customers can be much worse!

    How much worse? Well, we at Not Always Right are excited to announce our brand-new, upcoming series of customer-related comics. The first is titled, “Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse“, and below is a sneak preview of one reason:

    Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse

    We hope you’ve enjoyed this preview. Check back again next Saturday (January 21), when we reveal another portion of our comic!

    PS – we’ll be revealing the entire comic on Monday, January 30!

    Customers Should Watch Their Language, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I have moderate competency in Mandarin Chinese, but it is not apparent because I’m not Asian.)

    Me: “Hello! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer #1: “No, we’re just looking.”

    Customer #2: “Just looking.”

    Me: “All right, just let me know if you need any help.”

    Customer #1: *in Mandarin* “I told her to go away. She doesn’t listen!”

    Customer #2: *in Mandarin* “She’s a dumb girl. Just ignore her.”

    Me: *in Mandarin* “Hey look, the dumb girl speaks Mandarin.”


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