November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

These Wheels Don’t Revolve Around You

| Duluth, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Top

(A middle-aged customer approaches me. I’m helping an elderly customer who has fallen out of his wheelchair, back into his chair. I’m a small guy: about 5’6″ tall and 120lbs.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “Hey, you!”

Me: “I’ll be with you in a moment, miss.”

(I continue struggling to help the elderly customer back into his wheelchair.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “Help me now, d*** it! I’m in a hurry; he can f****** wait!”

(I ignore her until I am able to get the elderly customer back in his wheelchair. I start checking to see if he is okay.)

Me: “Are you sure you’re alright, sir?”

(The middle-aged customer grabs my shoulder, pulling me to face her.)

Middle-Aged Customer: “I said, NOW!”

Elderly Customer: “Now listen here you b****! What the h*** gives you the right to talk to this young man—much less grab him—like that? He told you he’d help you in a minute. People like you are what’s wrong with the world. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Stop acting like a d*** child!”

Middle-Aged Customer: *storms off*

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7

| Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I am a customer at a supermarket. I am pushing a trolley with my baby in the child seat. My top is a similar colour to the staff uniform, but a very different style.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are the vitamin waters?”

Me: “I don’t know. Did you look down the soft drink aisle?”

Customer: “You aren’t going to show me?”

Me: “No, why would I do that?”

Customer: “It’s your job! I’m going to talk to the manager about you!”

Me: “I don’t work here; I’m just shopping.”

Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! I saw you put that milk back; you’re re-stocking shelves and you just don’t want to help me!”

(A manager walks past. The customer grabs him and drags him over.)

Customer: “This woman refuses to help me!”

Manager: “She doesn’t work here, so she doesn’t have to. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Of course she works here; she’s wearing your uniform! How dare you cover for her laziness! I’m reporting you to head office!”

Manager: “Ma’am, look at her trolley; we don’t sell babies. She’s shopping; she does not work here. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry. I was looking for the vitamin waters… sorry…”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him

| Absecon, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am a 20-year-old girl, with several tattoos. Only the clover on my wrist is visible. An older customer comes in at least once a week.)

Older Customer: “What happens when you get older and the tattoo looks bad?”

Me: “That’s part of the experience of having a tattoo; it grows with you. Plus, I’m Irish, so it’s part of my heritage. It’s not like I’m going to regret it.”

Customer: “Yes, you will. When you get old, it will get ugly, and you’ll hate it.”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but it’s my heritage. That is not something I will hate. And even if it does get ugly, the rest of me will be wrinkled too. And really, it isn’t any of your business or concern what I do to my body.”

(A male coworker comes up, who also has a visible tattoo. The customer says nothing to him.)

Me: “What about his tattoo?”

Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter; he’s a man. Women just shouldn’t get tattoos. They’ll make them ugly later on.”

Must Have An Ex-Wife

| UT, USA | Language & Words

(I am providing a customer a temporary password.)

Me: “That is ‘X’, like X-ray.”

Customer: “X-ray starts with an ‘E’. Didn’t you go to school?”

Me: “X-ray starts with an ‘X’, sir.”

Customer: “Fine, have it your way, then!”

A Minor Mistake

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

(I’m currently a high school student. I look really young, about 12 or 13, so I’m not hit on very often. A customer aged about 30 walks up to me, smirking.)

Customer: “Remember when I asked you out two years ago, and you turned me down because you said you live too far away? Well, look where we are now. I have a job at [local corporate headquarters], and you clean up people’s trash at a movie theater.”

(He drops trash on the ground.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not who you think I am. I go to [local high school]. Also, I only date girls.”

(The customer slowly realizes that I am both a minor and a lesbian.)

Customer: “Oh. I’m way off, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(The customer picks up his trash, and scurries off with a sheepish look on his face.)