Throwing A Fit

| WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

(At our sub shop, when the customer orders a sub, it reaches the person who is wrapping it up. They wrap it up and then throw it back to the cashier or the customer. Usually, this is met with ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aww’s’.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [subshop]. What can we get for you today?”

Customer: “Yeah… can I get a one, a five, and a ten?”

Me: “Sure. Will there be anything else today? Chips? Drinks?”

Customer: “Nope.”

(The first sub is made. The wrapper catches the attention of the customer, and asks if he’s willing to catch. The customer nods and catches the sub. At this point, I have him rung up.)

Me: “That’ll be $13.05.”

(The customer hands me his credit card. The second sub is done, and the wrapper throws it. The customer catches it and nods his thanks.)

Me: “Okay. You’re all set! The last sub will be with you in a sec.”

Wrapper: “Ready?”

Customer: “Throw the sub at me again, and I’ll shove it up your a**.”

(Shocked, we say nothing and pass the sub up the line to him. He takes it and leaves with his other subs without another word.)

Forming A Theory

| Helsinki, Finland | Extra Stupid

(I’m a lawyer in a small firm. We send out documents in an envelope with our address stamped on it, and with prepaid postage fees. The society where I live operates on trust, and the postal service has stopped stamping sent mail. If you are the dishonest type, you can send the same envelope multiple times for free, but you’d have to put a sticker or something on the previous address. I get a call from an irate client.)

Customer: “What is the matter with you!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Why do you keep sending me this same form over and over again?! Are you out of your minds?! If I filled it wrong you could attach some advice as how to fill it, and not just the same form again and again! And further, this envelope of yours is in a disgraceful state. I’m at the end of my patience here!”

Me: “I’m very sorry that this has happened to you. Could I please have your name so I can check what the problem is?”

Customer: “Well okay, but you should know who I am since you seem to send me mail every single day!”

(I check the records. Only one letter has been sent to the customer.)

Me: “I don’t know how this could have happened, since I’m pretty sure we’ve only sent you one letter.”

Customer: “You are wrong! This same letter keeps coming and coming. You are sending it to me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I would know if I’m sending you mail every day. And furthermore if we get a legal document from a client that has been filled wrong, we always call and give advice on how to fill it. Could you please go over the document, and I’ll see if there is anything wrong with it.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(We go over the form, and all seems to be fine.)

Me: “Thank you very much for your patience. Everything on the form seems to be correct. I can’t think of any reason why it would get sent back to you. Could you go over the whole procedure of how you are sending it back to us?”

(She goes over the whole thing in detail…)

Customer: “…and then I glue the envelope back shut again.”

Me: “Excuse me, but did you say you use glue to shut the envelope again? What does it say on the envelope you are trying to send us?

Customer: “It says [her own name and address], of course!”

Me: “So, you are carefully opening the letter we used to send you the form. Then you reuse it to send the form back to us, instead of the attached envelope meant for return mail? You do realize that the envelope goes to the address that is actually on the envelope?”

(There is a long silence and sounds of paper rustling.)

Customer: “You really should write clearer instructions on how to return these d*** forms!” *click*

Assassin’s Crib

| Springfield, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(My husband and I have a favorite game store because they tend to treat females very well. We have a two-year-old daughter who has been loving the games as much as we have.)

Cashier: “Is that all for you?”

Husband: “Oh, I have a few pre-orders to make.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

(I’m holding our daughter. I find a game case she likes, ‘Assassin’s Creed’.)

Me: “Look baby, it is your favorite!”

Daughter: “Ezio!”

Cashier: “Did she just!?”

Me: “No, no, this is Conner. But I bet he is just as cool as—”

Daughter:No! Ezio! Ezio! Ezio!”

(I didn’t know what was better: My daughter saying Ezio’s name over and over, or the cashier trying to stay professional and not squeal at a two year old.)

He Is Tea Total

| England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a deluxe cinema, where we provide waiting service in the screen. The trailers are on, and it’s quite loud. I’m serving an elderly couple.)

Me: “And what would you like to drink, sir?”

Husband: “Tea!”

Me: “Is that English breakfast?”

Husband: “No! Tea!”

Me: “Yes, but is that the normal English tea?”

Husband: *sighs heavily* “No! Tea!”

Wife: “He’s asking what kind of tea you want, you tit!”

Judge A Sandwich On Its Filling

| New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

(A young girl that is about 14 years old walks in. She gets some looks from our other patrons, as she has bright purple hair, multiple piercings, a leather jacket, and ripped jeans. It is freezing outside and she has a scowl on her face that makes me nervous.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [coffee shop]. How may I help you?”

Young Girl: “I’ll take five of the largest black coffees you have, and ten of your ham and cheese sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

Young Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “Your total is [price].”

(To my surprise, she pulls out a $100 bill. I am suspicious, and I check to make sure it’s real. It checks out, and I give her a bag with her sandwiches.)

Me: “Here is your change. Your coffee will be ready in a moment.”

(I keep an eye on her as she stands around glaring at anyone who looks at her. I see her looking at the tip jar. When I hand her the coffees, she asks me about it.)

Young Girl: “Your tip jar says that the money goes to you guys. Are any of you in college?”

Me: “Yes, I’m going to Rochester Institute of Technology. A few others are in college as well.”

Young Girl: “Good for you.”

(She pulls out the change I gave her and a few more $20 dollar bills. She crams then in the jar and salutes me jokingly before walking out. I am stunned, and chase after her. I find her on the street corner talking to some homeless people and handing out the sandwiches and coffee.)

Me: “Excuse me!”

Young Girl: “I’m sorry, did I forget something?”

Me: “No, but you just tipped us over $100 dollars. You’re also giving away a lot of food.”

Young Girl: “Yeah, my dad is crazy rich. I feel like I can do more if I actually interact with people instead of signing a check to a charity. Every Friday I gather anyone I see who needs a good meal, and buy it for them.” *she smiles brightly* “I may be young, but I can make a difference. I usually hand out flyers for homeless shelters or soup kitchens, too.”

(Without another word, she walks off silently. I didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the week. It goes to show you that appearances aren’t everything!)

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