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    Zombies vs. Customers Preview #2: Refunds

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

    Hey readers, ready for the zombie apocalypse? Here’s the second preview for our upcoming customer-related comic, “Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse!”

    Zombies always want to eat more, no matter how much they’ve engorged themselves–but are they worse than customers? Absolutely not, and here’s why:

    Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse

    If you missed the first preview, you can check it out here.

    PS – We’ll reveal the entire comic on Monday, January 30!

    You’d Need Nine Mouths

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Holidays, Religion

    (A customer walking by pauses at the holiday clearance display, where I am standing.)

    Customer: “Is this a musical instrument?”

    Me: “No, that’s a menorah.”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Me: “A menorah. The candleholder used in the celebration of Hanukkah.”

    Customer: “Do you know how to play it?”

    Never Bend To Suggestions

    | Moose Jaw, SK, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive-thru at a popular fast-food restaurant. The current employee initiative is to suggest hot beverages to customers.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]. Would you like to try a hot chocolate?”

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, NO. NO. NO.”

    Me: “Okay. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “All right, I’ll have a hot chocolate.”

    Gift Cards, Derp, Derpa, Gift Cards

    | Medford, OR, USA | Money

    (The phone rings and it is a customer wanting to know about gift cards. We are running a promotion where if you buy $100, you get a $25 bonus card.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Are you doing something with gift cards?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I explain the promotion.)

    Caller: “How much is a good amount for two people to eat?”

    Me: “A $50 gift card would probably cover two people.”

    Caller: “Well, I need to buy them for two separate couples, so I will need $400 in gift cards. What do I get?”

    Me: *ignoring the incorrect math* “You would get four $25 bonus cards.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “For every $100 you spend, you get an extra $25 dollar gift card.”

    Caller: “For what? What do I do?”

    Me: “What is your question exactly?”

    Caller: “I don’t know! You’re the one who said something about gift cards!”

    I Think We’ve Found The Grinch

    | Stayton, OR, USA | Bizarre

    (I am a courtesy clerk and volunteered to work on Christmas. While getting the carts from the parking lot, a man who is in his mid-20s is exiting to the store.)

    Me: “Happy holidays, sir.”

    Customer: *turns his head, flashes an evil grin, laughs maniacally, and continues walking to the car*

    Coworker: “I’m scared for you.”


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