Needs To Press Paws

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am cashier at a pet store. I see a man walk into the store, pick up a large and expensive coffee table book on show dogs, and get in my line. My manager has warned me, and shown me a picture of this man. He tries to convince cashiers to give him a refund for items he has just stolen. I immediately page my manager, who, unbeknownst to me, is tied up with a minor medical emergency in the back of the store.)

Thief: “I want to return this item.”

Me: “Do you have a receipt?”

Thief: “No.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Without a receipt, I cannot give you a refund.”

Thief: “Give me a refund.”

Me: “Sir, I watched you pick that book up when you came in. I know you did not buy it.”

Thief: “Give me the f****** money, or I’ll kick your a**.”

(Most of the customers in my line start backing away.)

Me: “Sir, I cannot give you any money, and if you leave with that item I will call the police. Please leave the store.”

Thief: “You little a**-hole!”

(The thief grabs the front of my shirt, and rears his arm back to punch me. I throw my arms up to shield my face. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of movement. The next thing I see is a spatter of blood on my counter, and the man out cold on the floor with a bloody nose. My manager, with a paramedic from the earlier emergency, walks up.)

Manager: “What the heck just happened?”

(As I tell my story, an assistant manager calls the police, opens another line, and checks out the waiting customers. The paramedic starts checking on the man, who has a clearly broken nose. The man slowly regains consciousness, and points to me.)

Thief: “She assaulted me! I’m going to sue!”

(I talk to the police.)

Me: “He grabbed me, but I never hit him. I don’t know how he got hurt!”

(The man, a known criminal, is handcuffed and put in the police car. The officers and my manager go to review the security cameras. About ten minutes later, I get called to come back to the office.)

Manager: “You have got to watch this!”

(The camera footage clearly shows the man getting the book, getting in line, arguing with me, and then grabbing my shirt. At that moment, the customer in line after him, a tiny, middle-aged Asian woman, leaps up, grabs the hair on the back of his head, slams his face into my counter, and then calmly steps back to where she had been standing. She did it so quickly, that we have to run the footage back on slow to see exactly what she had done. After the thief is out cold, she walks over to the new line that the assistant manager opened, buys her bag of cat food with cash, and leaves without a word. Apparently, the other customers either didn’t see what she did, or decided to keep their mouths shut. We have no idea who she is, and we never see her again. The thief was charged with assault on me, and arrested. Wherever you are lady, thanks! You’re my personal super hero!)

Don’t Bark At Me

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How Customer Service Works

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Mostly Crazy, Not So Good

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling [store] tech support. This is [my name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Uh, yeah. My stopped working. Can I get it replaced free?”

Me: “When did you purchase it?”

Caller: “[Date].”

(I collect his information and locate his purchase and warranty in our database.)

Me: “You’re still within the 90 day warranty. What seems to be the problem with it?”

Caller: “We can’t put the game discs in.”

Me: “You mean some piece of the internal hardware is blocking the disc slot?”

Caller: “No. Last night we were having a party. My roommate got pretty drunk and thought the [game console] was the toaster, and he shoved a Pop-Tart in the slot. We can’t get it out.”

Me: “…You have a Pop-Tart stuck in the slot.”

Caller: “Yeah.”

Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t covered under the warranty, sir.”

Caller: “It isn’t?”

Me: “No. Only manufacturer defects are covered. Damage caused by the customer is not covered.”

Caller: “S***. I guess I don’t need to ask about the Blu-Ray player, then?”

Cashier Doesn’t Register The Cash

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(I’m showing a new employee the basics of working behind the counter. Everything is going well and it’s a quiet night, so I decide to call my mum and ask if she could lend me some money for the night. As I am on the phone, one of my regular customers comes in. I tell the new employee to have a go of the till on his own. I finish the conversation with my mum.)

Regular Customer: “Hi, how are you?”

Me: “I’m alright thanks, yourself?”

Regular Customer: “Yeah, I’m not too bad. Were you asking your mum to borrow money there?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m supposed to be going bowling tonight with my friends, but I’m a bit low on cash. She said it would be alright if I paid her back when I get my wages.”

(We have a chat as we usually do. She tells me she was always borrowing money when she was my age.)

Regular Customer: “Okay, well I hope you have a nice night!”

Me: “I will, thanks a lot; see you later.”

(She leaves, only to come back a minute later, and talks to me incredibly fast.)

Regular Customer: “You’re always really friendly and have a chat with me. Here, take this; enjoy your night!”

(She slams a £10 note on the counter, and runs off into the night before I can even say anything.)

Me: “WHAT? WAIT! THANK YOU?!”

(I try to catch her to tell her she doesn’t need to do that, but she is away in her car before I can even get out from behind the counter.)

Me: “I… I don’t even know what just happened. That is the nicest thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Coworker: “Does this happen a lot?”

Me: “Never! This never happens. You just witnessed history.”

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