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    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 5

    | Central Florida, USA | Geography

    (This is during the 2008 primaries. Our library has been set up as an early voting center. We have information sheets to help the voters make their choices.)

    Customer: “I just don’t know what I should do. These things are so confusing. Who did you vote for?”

    Me: “I didn’t vote.”

    Customer: “That’s what’s wrong with you young people today. No ethics.”

    Me: “You misunderstand. I didn’t vote because I can’t vote.”

    Customer: *shocked* “Oh MY GOD! You’re a FELON? Why would they let a FELON work here?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. No. I’m not a citizen.”

    Customer: “Oh. You’re just saying that aren’t you?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m not a citizen. Would you like to see my green card?”

    Customer: “So, you’re from Canada?”

    Me: “No, I’m from Europe.”

    Customer: “That’s in Canada, isn’t it?”

    Related:
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 4
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 3
    Canada: America’s Hat, Part 2
    Canada: America’s Hat

    Ethnically Ethical

    , | Wichita, KS, USA |

    (An older lady is asking me for help with her shopping list.)

    Customer: “Sir, do you…well, I don’t really know if I can say this out loud, but do you have this video game?”

    (The customer points at her list to the game title, “Ethnic Mickey”, which doesn’t exist. We sell “Epic Mickey”.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am…we have Epic Mickey, if that helps.”

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness. Here I was, worried about the title and if it was appropriate. We spoke over the phone, so I guess I misheard.”

    Actividad Paranormal

    | Washington, USA | Bizarre

    (An older latino woman comes into the shop speaking rapidly in Spanish.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: *continues to speak rapidly in Spanish*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t speak Spanish, but I can get somebody who can.”

    (I go to the back to get one of the other employees that speaks Spanish. After a few minutes, my coworker comes back shacking his head.)

    Me: “What did the woman want?”

    Coworker: “She’s not right.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Coworker: “She says that we have the spirit of a murdered boy in our basement.”

    Me: “But we don’t have a basement.”

    Coworker: “Exactly.”

    No Bloody Sensitivity Anywhere

    | New York, USA | Health & Body

    (I work at a bar and grill on the breakfast shift. I have just badly cut my finger and have blood running down my hand. As I am running to the kitchen for first aid, a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, can I get a glass of orange juice please?”

    Me: “Ma’am, can I come right back to you? I need to take care of this.”

    (I raise my hand up to show her that my hand is bleeding all over.)

    Customer: “The service here is terrible. I want my orange juice!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really need to go take care of this.”

    Customer: “Forget it!” *storms out without paying for her meal*

    Related:
    A Serious Case Of Insensitivity, Part 2
    Call 911: We’ve Got A Serious Case Of Insensitivity

    Wherever Knowledge Is Distributed

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | School

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Student: “I can’t find my professor’s office.”

    Me: “Do you have an office number?”

    Student: “Yeah. It’s 412.”

    Me: “Well, that’s just down the hallway.”

    Student: “I tried. That’s not his office.”

    Me: “Is he a political science professor or a modern languages professor?

    Student: “Neither. Geology.”

    Me: “Are you sure he’s in this building?”

    Student: “No.”

    Me: “What building is he in?”

    Student: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “There are lots of buildings on campus.”

    Student: “I know.”

    Me: “What made you think it was this one?”

    Student: “I don’t know…”


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