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    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Money

    Customer: “Can I have a pack of [brand] cigarettes?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s $5.51.”

    Customer: “Are these the dollar-off ones?”

    (I look behind me. There are no dollar-off deals right now.)

    Me: “No, sorry, there’s no sale on that kind.”

    Customer: “That sign says ‘Save 30 cents on two packs.’”

    Me: “Yeah, but you have to buy two packs.”

    Customer: “Then will I save a dollar?”

    Me: “No, you’d save thirty cents.”

    Customer: “Why wouldn’t I save a dollar?”

    Me: “Because the sale is for thirty cents?”

    Customer: “Oh, okay…”

    Related:
    If It Don’t Make Dollars, It Don’t Make Sense

    A Not Always Right Customer: The Winning Definition Is…

    | Not Always Right Definition | Announcements

    Earlier this week, we asked you what you thought the best definition of a customer that is Not Always Right was from the submissions on our Facebook page.

    The tally is in! Click the “more…” link to find out which was the most popular definition: (more…)

    Bread Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

    | Australia | Rude & Risque, Top

    Manager: *laughing* “You’re gonna love this. There was a complaint against you.”

    Me: “Oh, okay?”

    Manager: “Apparently you…um, package bread sticks suggestively.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Manager: “Yeah. This is what the actual complaint says: ‘She slid the bread stick into the paper bag while looking at my husband and smiling. I just know she was trying to flirt with him! We couldn’t even eat it, thanks to that hussy!’”

    (My manager and I crack up laughing. I’m a lesbian.)

    Momma Likes To Wine And Whine

    | Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids

    (I am working at a daycare and eating my lunch while the kids are having nap time. One of the kids, a two-year-old girl, has woken up early this day.)

    Child: “[My name] drinking Diet Pepsi?”

    Me: “Yep, I’m drinking a soda.”

    Child: “Daddy drink Diet Pepisi.”

    Me: “Daddy drinks Diet Pepsi?”

    Child: “Yeah.”

    Me: “[Child's name] doesn’t drink Diet Pepsi, right?”

    Child: “No, [child's name] drink juice. Daddy drink Diet Pepsi. Momma drink wine.”

    Me: “Momma drinks wine?”

    Child: “Uh, huh. Momma drink wine. Momma drink a LOT of wine.”

    Safety Before Stupid Customers

    | Utah | Food & Drink

    (I’m a delivery driver. This happens at the customer’s doorstep.)

    Me: “That will be $26.52.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we only carry $20 in change. Do you have any smaller bills?”

    Customer: “Um, no, that’s stupid! Why don’t you carry more?”

    Me: “It’s a safety issue. Do you have a card we can put it on?”

    Customer: “How is it a safety issue for employees to give customers their change?”

    Me: “If we could carry a lot of money, and people found out, we would get robbed a lot more.”

    Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they care more about their employees’ safety than customer service?”

    Me: “I guess so.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***!” *slams the door in my face*


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