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    Simple Menus Vs. The Simple-Minded

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Our shop has a very basic menu of chicken burgers, chips, and chicken pieces.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what this is…”

    (The customer stares blankly at the menu for about 10 seconds.)

    Customer: “No. No! I don’t know what any of this is!” *walks away*

    Me: *speechless*

    Honesty In A Modern Age, Part 2

    | USA |

    Caller: “I know this app is new, but I just can’t figure out why you would release something that clearly doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Hmm…everything looks okay on our end with your registration and activation.”

    Caller:Something is wrong because this just doesn’t work! I can’t believe it!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure what else to try. Are you sure you’re in a Wi-Fi hotspot?”

    (There’s a long pause.)

    Caller: *starts laughing* “You aren’t going to believe this. I’m the Chief Technical Officer for my company and I’m still in airplane mode.”

    Me: “So you’ve turned your Wi-Fi back on then?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I feel kind of dumb right now.” *pauses* “Please don’t tell anyone.”

    Me: *laughing* “My lips are sealed, sir.”

    Related:
    Honesty In A Modern Age

    Of Freudian Slips & Lesbian Lips

    , | Sydney, Australia |

    (I’ve just had my first yoga class with a friend of mine, who is a regular at this school. We’ve just stepped out into the reception area.)

    Female instructor: “So, how did you go with your first class?”

    Me: “It went really well, thanks! It certainly makes you sweat that’s for sure!”

    Female instructor: “Just be sure to drink lots of women.”

    (My friend and I start laughing hilariously.)

    Female instructor: “Water! I mean water! I can’t believe I said that!”

    Also seen on: Not Always Romantic

    No Aspirations As Long As You’re Under This Roof

    | Alberta, Canada | Family & Kids

    (I am a receptionist at a local college and I am doing some follow-up calls for people who indicated they were interested in attending by filling out one of our forms.)

    Me: “Hi, is [name] there?”

    Woman: “Yes. May I ask who’s calling?”

    Me: “Yes, this is [name] from [college] calling. I’m just following up with the person who filled out a form for us saying they were interested in one of our programs. Do you know if they still are?”

    Woman: “That’s actually my son. He’s only 11 years old. Are you sure you have the right number?”

    (I double check the number and name on the forms with her, and they are correct.)

    Woman: *sighs* “Oh my God. Could he have done this online?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s very possible.”

    Woman: “Oh man, is he going to get it. Thanks for the call. We’re going to punish him for this!” *hangs up*

    Judging A Book By Its Cover

    | Honolulu, HI, USA |

    Patron: “Hi, can you help me find this book?” *hands me piece of paper with call number* “I went to look for it, but I couldn’t find it.”

    Me: “Sure, let’s go take a look.”

    (I take him to the stacks and start to walk down the correct row.)

    Patron: “Yeah, this is where I was looking.”

    (I pull down the book with that call number. This particular copy is brown.)

    Me: “There you go!”

    Patron: *disappointed* “Oh, I was looking for a black cover!”


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