Trouble Brewing, Part 4

| Erie, PA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(We have a special offer on small 10oz draft beers from 8-11pm. A customer approaches the bar around midnight, which is when most other local bar specials end.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Let me get two double drafts.”

Me: “I’m sorry, double drafts? Unfortunately, our drafts only come in the 16oz size.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have two [popular domestic brand] drafts, then.”

Me: “Okay! That will be $5, please.”

Customer: “How are they $5?!”

Me: “Because they’re $2.50 apiece.”

Customer: “Why aren’t they $0.25 apiece?”

Me: “I’m sorry; that was our special from earlier this evening. The special runs from 8-11, only pertains to [unpopular and extremely-cheap beer], and they are served in the small 8oz mason jars. I explained that our regular drafts only come in the 16oz size, and you asked for [brand] which isn’t part of the special.”

Customer: “Well, why the f*** didn’t you tell me that these weren’t on special when I ordered my first beers of the evening!?”

Me: “I’m sorry; were you misinformed on your previous round?”

Customer: “No, this is my first round. It is your job as a bartender to inform me of the specials when I order. I would know; I manage [one of nearby town’s college bars]!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, but as it was after the special had ended, and it is after other bars’ specials had ended, I don’t normally tell customers about specials that they can’t have.”

Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! You can’t do your d*** job properly! I am NOT paying $5 for these two beers! If you were my employee at [other bar], I would fire you!”

(I have been nothing but sweet and empathetic up until this point. Unfortunately for this kid, I have had quite enough.)

Me: “That’s interesting, because I always assumed that if I were to work at [other bar], I would be under the supervision of [manager’s name], who has been a friend of mine for years. Anyone in this industry, if they even want the special, knows enough to ask if the special is still running, and what is included in the special. If you were truly the manager of a bar, or have ever bartended a day in your life, then you certainly should know that the manner in which you are speaking to me is in no way appropriate or acceptable. Now, would you like your two drafts for $5, or not?”

Customer: “I… I… THIS ISN’T FAIR!”

(My manager, who has been standing nearby and has heard everything, walks up.)

Manager: “Listen, kid. You’ve not only been rude to my bartender, but she’s also proved that you’re a liar. The fact that she hasn’t had you removed for your behavior is a testament to her extreme patience and upbeat personality. Now, pay for your beers, or go back to [nearby town] and practice your ‘managerial skills’!”

Customer: *slinks away*

Related:
Trouble Brewing, Part 3
Trouble Brewing, Part 2

Rectify The Situation, Part 2

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I regularly update medical records for our clients. One of my clients is getting angry that his case is taking so long, and has been yelling at me for a few minutes.)

Client: “Yeah, well this is taking way too long. I bet you don’t even know that I had surgery last week!”

Me: “Okay, sir, where did you have your surgery?”

Client: “Up my rectum!”

(There is a long and awkward silence.)

Me: “Um, well, I meant at which hospital did you have your surgery, so that I can get your medical records?”

Client: “…oh.”

Related:
Rectify The Situation

It Only Goes Downhill From Here, Part 2

| CA, USA | Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(The venue I am working is on top of a big hill. It has a driveway that leads to a small parking lot which is being used for the choir that is performing. An elderly customer and her daughter pull up.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, we’re here for the event.”

Me: “Great, are you with the choir or a guest?”

Daughter: “We’re guests, so can we just go up now?”

Me: “Oh, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that’s performing tonight. You’ll have to park down here. But if you don’t want to walk, there is a golf cart that can take you up there. He just went up, but he will be back down momentarily.”

Elderly Customer: “BUT WE CAME TO SEE THE PERFORMANCE! WHY CAN’T WE PARK UP THERE IN THE PARKING LOT? I KNOW IT’S THERE! I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE! YOU CAN’T TELL ME IT’S NOT THERE! IM OLD, AND CAN’T WALK UP THIS HILL!”

Me: “Miss, the parking lot up there is being used for the choir that you will be seeing tonight. They all had to drive here so we let them use the parking lot. If you park down here on the road, the golf cart will take you right up to the event. If you were to park in that parking lot, you would have to walk up stairs. The cart will drop you off right at the event and you won’t have to walk up those stairs.”

Daughter: “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU WANT? WE CAN PARK OUR OWN D*** SELVES!”

(They drive up to the parking lot. I think I am done with them, and hoping they will get towed. After about five minutes, they come speeding back down the drive way, almost hitting a man and his wife who decided to walk up. They stop to yell at me, and the daughter throws a full, sealed, 32 oz. drink bottle at me. It hits me in the face, causing my nose to bleed. They speed off, never to be seen again.)

Related:
It Only Goes Downhill From Here

Annoying, But True

JCK-Thought-of-the-week2-600x447-320x202

The Machine Runs On Punch-Lines Of Code

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I am working the self-scans, bagging a customer’s groceries. The customer puts two small plastic containers filled with olives on the belt. The self-scan is programmed not only to mention the price of an item, but also to weigh some items, and let people know if their item should be placed on the belt or not.)

Self-Scan Machine: “Please take your item to the bagging area.”

(The customer puts both containers on the belt instead of taking it to the bagging area, and watches as the belt doesn’t move.)

Self-Scan Machine: “Please take your item to the bagging area.”

(The customer puts her hand on both containers and instead of picking them up and giving them to me, she pushes them down the belt causing the self-scan to freeze.)

Self-Scan Machine: “Please stand by. Help is on the way.”

(The customer turns to me.)

Customer: “Why do you need to help me?”

Me: “Because you pushed your olives down the belt. You never have to put these on the belt. Just bring them to me so I can bag them.”

Customer: “Oh! When the machine told me to bring these items straight down, I actually had to do it? I didn’t have to put them on the belt at all?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “I thought this machine was just joking with me.”

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