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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Bring Your Own Justice

    | Paramus, NJ, USA |

    (I am working the fitting room on a particularly busy day. Our store is pretty small, but many customers bring in their giant shopping carts in from the store next to us. A particular woman has parked her cart right in the middle of the entrance to the fitting room. A man is waiting for his wife and notices the cart.)

    Customer: “Whose cart is that?”

    Me: “Another customer’s, I believe.”

    Customer: “That shouldn’t be there. I work construction. That’s a fire hazard!”

    Me: “I don’t disagree, sir, but unfortunately I’m not allowed to ban carts from the store. I also don’t know who it belongs to.”

    (At this point, the cart’s owner’s kids start trying to play on the cart, running into me, the racks of clothes and the walls. I try to get them to stop, but they don’t listen.)

    Customer: “Man, that sucks. Can I say something? Because that’s just f***ing rude!”

    Me: *laughing* “Sir, I can’t, but feel free to talk to her if you want.”

    Customer: “Damn straight! I’m going to tell that b**** to move her d*** cart!”

    Me: *laughs* “Good luck with that, sir.”

    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4

    | Texas, USA |

    (I’m giving a jobseeker the email address of our recruiter. Note that this jobseeker is male.)

    Me: “That’s L, V as in Victor, E as in echo.”

    (He repeats the email address back to me.)

    Caller: “That’s L as in love, V as in valentine, E as in Edward, and S as in Sam.”

    Me: “Um, yeah.”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    Vulgar Verbage

    , | Colchester, CT, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am making casual conversation with a pleasant customer, who is however, somewhat odd. At some point, a coworker of mine joins the conversation.)

    Customer: “Hey, those shirts look kinda tight on you guys.”

    Me: “Yeah, the green sizes run smaller than the blue ones, I think.”

    (The customer points to my coworker.)

    Customer: “Yeah, her shirt is like, vagina-ing open on her chest.”

    One Night And One Night Only

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Movies & TV

    Caller: “I notice on your website that you show [kid's movie] at midnight.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, that is correct.”

    Caller: “Why would you do that? No little kid is going to see that movie at midnight!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we have midnight showings for all movies, no matter the intended audience.”

    Caller: “Well, how am I supposed to bring my kids to a midnight showing? This is a formal complaint and I would like to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “Just one second, ma’am, I will send you to a manager.”

    (I connect the caller with a manager.)

    Caller: “How the h*** am I supposed to take my kids to see this movie if it only shows at midnight?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, that is just the day before it is released. It will show many other days at normal times.”

    Caller: “Well, why didn’t anybody ever tell me that?!”

    Nuts All Around

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I’m working at the concession stand. A woman and her grandson walk up to my register.)

    Customer: “One bag of M&Ms and a drink.”

    Me: “Would you like plain, peanut, or peanut butter?”

    Customer: “Plain! He can’t have peanuts, he’s very allergic.”

    (The transaction continues as normal, and they purchase popcorn, which is commonly made with peanut oil at other theaters.)

    Me: “Just so you know, our popcorn is made with coconut oil instead of peanut oil, so he can eat that.”

    Customer: *stops dead in her tracks* “No! Coco-NUT! It’s a nut. He can’t eat it.”

    (I can’t manage a response before she walks off with her grandson.)

    Manager: *walks over, laughing* “Did that really just happen?”


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