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    Loonies Can You Drive Looney

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

    (I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

    Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

    Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”

    Inde-fence-ible Behavior

    | New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Top

    (I am a customer at an outlet shoe store in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire. We often get French Canadians who come to New Hampshire for vacations and buy things here to avoid the high taxes they pay in Canada. Most of them speak perfectly fine English but some of them, particularly some of the older people can have some trouble. I speak French fluently, so I’m helping an elderly couple who is having trouble translating the sales signs.)

    Me: *in French* “It says that if you buy one pair of shoes, you get the second pair half off.”

    Elderly Customer: *in French* “Thank you. My English in not good, and some things just don’t translate well—”

    Other Customer: “Don’t do that!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Other Customer: “Don’t pander to them! If they want to live in this country, they should learn to speak English!”

    Me: “I think they are just visiting.”

    Other Customer: “Bulls***! Once they get into our country, they never leave! That’s why we need a fence.” *turns to the elderly couple* “Go back to Mexico!”

    Me: “They’re Canadian.”

    Other Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I heard you speaking Spanish!”

    Me: “That was French. Canada is a bilingual. Plenty of people in Canada speak French as their first language.”

    Other Customer: “We need a fence!”

    Me: “They are from Canada!”

    Other Customer: “We need TWO fences!”

    Leap Days Of Logic

    | Ontario, Canada | Time

    (The call center is in Canada, but we have many customers from the USA. This call comes in toward the end of the day on July 4th.)

    Caller: “So, did you have a good Fourth of July?”

    Me: “Well, I’m in Canada, so it’s just a regular day here, but it was not bad. We do have Canada Day, which is July 1st.”

    Caller: *confused* “So… then… is today July 3rd for you, or July 5th?”

    Let Me Google That For You

    | Missouri, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [store]! How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering when the new season of this TV show is supposed to come out.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our system doesn’t allow us to research release dates. I could only tell you if it was being released this month.”

    Customer: “Well, could I find out on your website?”

    Me: “Well, your best bet would just be to Google it.”

    Customer: “Umm… so what should I Google?”

    Me: “The name of the TV show, the season, and the words ‘release date.’”

    Customer: “Oh my God, thank you! I never would have thought of doing that! I’ll go look it up now. Bye!”

    Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves, Part 2

    | Canada | Extra Stupid

    (I work as a cashier at a hardware store. A customer has had a problem-less transaction and is beginning to ring through purchase. She pauses after a few moments.)

    Customer: “It says my card is rejected.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Customer: “What do I do?”

    Me: “What does the screen say?”

    Customer: “It says ‘Take Card Out. Press OK. Try again.’”

    Me: “Okay, so follow the screen.”

    Customer: “So, what do I do?”

    Me: “Take your card out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “Press ‘OK.’”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “…and try again.”

    Customer: “Well, no need to explain it like I’m a five year old!”

    Related:
    Always Handle Grown Ups With Kid Gloves

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