Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,476 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight, Part 2

    | Massachusetts, USA | Movies & TV

    (I’m a projectionist at a movie theater, so every once in a while, I have to deal with customer complaints. We have 3D movies that are extremely blurry if you don’t wear the glasses that we give you.)

    Old woman: “Excuse me, I would like a refund.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Old woman: *waving 3D glasses at me* “I don’t know how much extra I paid for these stupid things, but my movie wasn’t in 3D!”

    Me: I’m sorry, ma’am. Which movie did you go see?”

    Old woman: “I saw [movie only available in 3D] with my grandson and I didn’t have to use these things at all, not even once!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but since you sat through the whole movie, I can’t give you a refund. That movie is also extremely blurry if you don’t use the glasses we give you.”

    Old woman: “But I didn’t use them at all and it looked just fine–just not 3D!”

    (As she storms away angrily with a boy of about 5 in tow, she gets into her car and almost hits a young couple walking across the parking lot on her way out.)

    Related:
    Eyesight Only As Good As Hindsight

    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    | Gilbert, AZ, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am working the counter when a confused-looking customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Do you have any horror movies?”

    Me: “Yes, the horror section is over there, past action.”

    Customer: “No, no! I mean horror movies.”

    Me: “Right, horror movies. Like, scary movies, right?”

    Customer: *growing agitated* “No! I mean horror movies!”

    (He keeps giving the word slightly suggestive emphasis, so I start to wonder if he’s trying to say something else. He keeps carefully enunciating the whole word, including the last syllable.)

    Me: “You are saying ‘horr-OR’ movies, right? Like The Exorcist, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street?”

    Customer: “No! Horror movies. You know, adult movies!”

    The Usual, As Usual As Possible

    | Windsor, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

    Caller: “Can I get 3 pizzas and an order of bread sticks?”

    Me: “Sure, no problem!”

    Caller: “But I don’t want the bread like you usually make it.”

    Me: “Okay, how would you like it?”

    Caller: “I want it softer to bite into.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Caller: “But i don’t want it lightly done.”

    (The caller pauses, and I’m not sure what to say.)

    Caller: “…and I don’t want it burnt.”

    Me: *lightbulb turns on* “Okay, so you would like it normal?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Attack Of The Third Dimensional Dimwits

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA |

    (I am explaining to a customer how to program his pre-paid phone.)

    Me: “Alright, the sequence you need to press is Pound(#)-8678423 to program your phone.”

    Caller: “What?”

    Me: “Press Pound-8678423 on the phone’s number pad.”

    Caller: “I don’t see anything that says ‘Pound’.”

    Me: “The Pound key looks like a tic-tac-toe. It’s the button right under the 9 key.”

    Caller: “You mean I have to take apart my phone, pull off the numbers, and press this ‘Pound’ key to get the thing working?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, don’t take the phone apart. The Pound key is below the 9 and to the right of the zero.”

    Caller: “But I’m telling you, I can’t get to that key if it’s under the 9! I have to take the 9 off to see it!”

    Do Not Pay Debts, Go Directly To Jail

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    Me: “Thank you for calling [satellite TV company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I’ve bought some used equipment. I need to turn it on.”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Could I have the serial number?”

    (The serial number brings up an account in collections for over $800.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We cannot activate your equipment until the previous owner closes his account. Can you contact him?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Caller: “He’s in jail in Mexico.”


    Page 925/1,972First...923924925926927...Last