Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 13

| Elk Grove, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer comes up to me holding two controllers.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to know what the differences are between these controllers.”

Me: “Well, this controller is wireless, and this one is wired.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means one of the controllers has a wire, and the other one does not.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “Uh, one of the controllers has a physical cord that comes out of it.”

Customer: “But what does that mean?”

Me: “This controller has a cord to connect to the console. This other controller does not have a cord.”

Customer: “Ooh, so it’s like it’s wired!”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 12
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 11

H2Slow, Part 4

| Blacksburg, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks into store with a phone that’s not working. It’s raining outside.)

Customer: “Hey man, my phone stopped working. Can you get me a new one?”

Coworker: “Do you have insurance? The watermarks show that the phone has gotten wet.”

Customer: “No, I don’t, but I’ve never gotten my phone wet!”

Coworker: “Well, it clearly did at some point. Were you by any chance using it while it was raining?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was earlier, but that wouldn’t have done it, would it? Would rain get my phone wet?”

Coworker: “Is rain made out of water?”

Customer: “Ohh… right…”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 3
H2Slow, Part 2
H2Slow

A Sweet For The Not-So-Sweet Old Lady

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

(I am a cashier in a grocery store that has a basket of free suckers at each register. They’re supposed to be for kids, but every now and then an adult will ask for one. We usually don’t mind. An elderly customer and her middle-aged daughter come through my checkout lane.)

Elderly Customer: “Oooh, suckers! Are they free? I want a sucker!”

Daughter: “No, those are for kids.”

Elderly Customer: “I. WANT. A. SUCKER!”

Daughter: “No, mom, they’re for little kids. You’re not a little kid, are you?”

Elderly Customer: “YES I AM! NOW GET ME A GOD-D*** SUCKER, B****!”

(I just hand the elderly customer the basket, and back away slowly.)

Out Of The Frying Pan…

| SA, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(A customer is browsing our sale frying pans, which are gift boxed. On top of the pile of boxes is a frying pan that has been taken out so customers don’t keep opening new boxes to look at them.)

Customer: “Excuse me, are any of these out on display? I don’t want to buy one if I don’t know what it looks like.”

Me: “Yep, there’s this one right here.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t think it was the same one. It looks different to the one in the picture. The one in the picture has vegetables in it.”

(I laugh politely, thinking it’s a joke.)

Customer: “So, are there vegetables in the box?”

Me: “Um… no. It’s just a frying pan, and a glass lid. If there was food in there, it would go off.”

(The customer continues browsing, while I am called away to help someone else. As I am passing back by the first customer, I notice he is roughly pulling a new frying pan out of the gift box, tearing it up.)

Me: “Uh, do you need some help here?”

Customer: “I just wanted to see what this frying pan looks like before I buy it.”

Me: “It’s exactly the same as the one on display. We put that out so everyone can see what it looks like. That way, people will stop pulling new stock out of boxes and wrecking them.”

Customer: “I know, but I want to see what this one looks like. Yes, this should be fine. Oh, but the box is all torn up. Can you give me a discount for that?”

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