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    July Top Story Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Roundups

    July Top Story Roundup: From a bite-sized Batman to bigots getting the boot, here are our top-rated stories for the month of July!

    1. Harry Potter And The Disorder Of The Forks-Flicks (3,093 thumbs up)
      An out-of-control bookstore customer gets into a Twi-fight—with another customer!
    2. Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet, Part 2 (3,047 thumbs up)
      A pint-sized customer gets a gallon of ice creaming for battling rudeness.
    3. Never Say No To La Novia (2,735 thumbs up)
      When a caring father saves an employee from harassment, he says “adios” to bigotry and his ex-wife!
    4. This We’ll Defend (2,681 thumbs up)
      Attack an employee and you’ll go to war—with the U.S. Army!
    5. Respect Your Zombie Elders (2,511 thumbs up)
      A 5-year-old gives a mouthy, zombie-crazed customer a piece of her mind.

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Much A-Poo About Nothing

    | London, UK | Language & Words

    (Our games are priced with the stickers in the top right hand corner. If there is a special offer sticker, this goes directly below the normal price sticker. A customer approaches me holding an old PS2 game which has the aforementioned stickers.)

    Customer: “How can you sell this filth?”

    Me: “What game is that you’re upset about, sir?”

    Customer: “POO PARADE! Sick filth!”

    (I take the game from him and remove the two price stickers.)

    Me: “There you go sir, now you can see the whole title. This game is called Pool Paradise. It’s simply a snooker and pool simulation game.”

    Customer: *leaves quickly*

    A Whale Of A Story

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top

    (My coworker and I have been laughing over a list of dumb laws during a quiet spell at the registers.)

    Me: “Check this out. It’s illegal to hunt whales in Utah.”

    Coworker: “Well, now, that’s not very specific. Is it illegal to hunt FOR them, as in go looking for one, or is it illegal to FIND one and harpoon it? Because, let me tell you, the second one is a lot harder!”

    Me: “Well, if I ever go to Utah, I think I’ll walk up to a cop and ask them where I can go hunting for whales, just to see his reaction.”

    (As we continue joking, a customer overhears us and becomes angry.)

    Customer: “You filthy murderers! How can you think hunting whales is funny?!”

    Me: “I assure you, ma’am, there is little danger of me actually harming a whale in Utah.”

    Customer: “That’s no excuse! You think you could get away with taunting a police officer by openly admitting you were going to commit a crime?”

    Coworker: “Yes… actually, in this case, we probably could.”

    Customer: “HOW?!”

    Coworker: “Well, since whales live in the ocean and there are no oceans in Utah—”

    Customer: “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid! I’m calling the producers of Whale Wars on you! You’ll be shamed in front of the whole nation!” *storms out*

    You Just Weeded Yourself Out

    | NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I work at a very popular supplement store, and we sell products that are called “detoxes”. There are certain ones that people buy under the impression that they can cheat a urinalysis. If the customer mentions anything about drugs or a urine test, we must refuse the sale.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need one of those detoxes.”

    (I unlock the display and bring it to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, anything else?”

    Customer: “Do these really work? I’m trying to find a job and I smoke a lot of weed.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot sell you this product because you told me that. It is against federal law. I will have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Really? That sucks. Hey, are you guys hiring?”

    Loonies Can You Drive Looney

    | Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Geography, Money

    (I’m working at a ticket counter in Niagara Falls, Ontario.)

    Customer: “Are these prices printed in dollars?”

    Me: “Yes, they are.”

    Customer: “Why is everything in dollars?! I’m from the United States, and I take offense to you people posting everything in dollars and asking me to use your f***ing Monopoly money! You should be ashamed of yourself! WHY IS EVERYTHING IN DOLLARS?!”

    Me: “Canadian currency is also called the ‘dollar’…”

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