Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (2,007 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    This Cheese Has Been Around

    | Pennsylvania, USA |

    (I’ve been helping this customer for about two minutes.)

    Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

    Customer: “Yes, give me half a pound of the philandering cheese.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The philandering cheese!”

    Me: “Uh, which one?”

    Customer: “The philandering Swiss cheese!”

    (She points at the wall behind the counter where we display the cheeses. I turn around and immediately realize which cheese she means.)

    Me: “Oh, Finlandia Swiss!”

    Customer: “That’s what I said! Philandering Swiss!”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 6
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    Not Exactly The Sweetest Customer

    | Toronto, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (My store has a brand of cookies on sale for half price. On the shelf above them is a smaller pack of the same brand that is not on sale).

    Customer: “Excuse me, why do these bigger cookies cost less than these small ones?”

    Me: “Those cookies are on sale this week. They usually cost more.”

    Customer: “Yes, I know they’re on sale, but why doesn’t the smaller pack cost less?”

    Me: “Only the cookies in the larger size are on sale. The other ones are at regular price.”

    Customer: “But aren’t they the same?”

    Me: “Yes they’re the same brand, but only the larger size is on sale.”

    (At this point, the customer grabs hold of my arm.)

    Customer: “Yes, but why are the bigger ones cheaper? That’s more sugar! If you have too much sugar you can get diabetes! It’s not healthy!”

    Me: “Um, sorry?”

    Customer: “I don’t want to buy the bigger pack. I just want the smaller one. It’s too much sugar for me. Why should I have to buy the bigger one?”

    Me: “Er, well, you don’t HAVE to buy the bigger one.”

    (The customer sighs, shakes his head, and grabs the bigger pack of cookies. He leaves muttering about how everything has so much sugar in it.)

    When In Rome (Or China)

    | China | Tourists/Travel

    (I am on a small group tour of China. One of the other tourists has been grumpy and loudly complaining all week. At the moment, he’s complaining to the Chinese tour guide.)

    Tourist: “There were no English channels on the TV. I ended up watching the basketball game, but because there wasn’t an English commentary I listened to my mp3 player to drown out the horrible sound of the Chinese commentary.”

    Tour guide: *speechless*

    Tourist: “And you really should tell them to get some English newspapers in their hotels if they want people to stay here!”

    (At this point, I’m fed up with hearing him complain.)

    Me: “You’re in China. Of course things are in their language. If you want to read the newspaper, get a Chinese to English dictionary.”

    Tourist: “Why would I want to read Chinese?!”

    Skimmed Milk, Skimmed Brain

    | Toronto, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need 2% milk.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s just right there on the shelf behind you.”

    Customer: “No, not that. That’s the 2% PARTLY SKIMMED milk. I want just the regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “Oh, but all 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what it means.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I don’t want that light stuff. I want just regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “All 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what is means.”

    Customer: “No! I buy regular 2% milk all the time at [competitor].”

    Me: “Well, you probably just never noticed the label before, but I’m sure if you do, you’ll see it says partly skimmed.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe they don’t have regular 2% milk here. What kind of grocery store is this?!”

    Totally Scentsless

    , | Orlando, FL, USA |

    (I work in a store that sells lotions, soaps, and candles with different scents. Recently, one of the companies we carry had a new line of lotion that was named after fruits: strawberry, apple, and banana scented lotion. To promote the new line, we have a few jars of each scent on a table at the front with a tongue depressor in each jar so that customers could easily scoop out a little lotion to try. I’m stocking a shelf when an angry customer walks up.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, sir?”

    Customer: “I’m very angry with the product in this store. Are you trying to kill someone?”

    Me: “I’m sorry? What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “That yogurt you have up front is not even cold, and it tastes horrible.”

    Me: “Yogurt? We don’t sell yogurt.”

    Customer: “Yes, you do. It’s on the little table up front with a spoon to taste it. The banana tastes like garbage and the strawberry doesn’t have any taste.”

    Me: “Sir, those are lotions, not yogurt.”

    (The customer gets a little flustered after realizing their mistake.)

    Customer: “You should really label it as lotion. It’s confusing!”

    Me: “It is labeled. See?”

    (I show the customer the huge sign on the table that says “lotion” as well as each individual fragrance saying “lotion” on the jar.)

    Customer: *leaves, mumbling*


    Page 924/2,065First...922923924925926...Last