October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Talking Non-Cents In The Dollar Store

| Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money

(It’s a busy Saturday, and both our cash registers are lined up with customers. A woman is stood next to the line-up, clearing her throat and trying to get my attention. She finally shoves her way to the cash, ahead of the line-up.)

Customer: “I need to return all these stickers. I was charged $7, when they’re only supposed to be $2!”

(I’d normally send her to the back of the line, but at this point it will be faster just to serve her and get her out of the way.)

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sometimes when we’re busy a cashier can miss a mistake like that. I just need your receipt.”

Customer: “I don’t have my receipt! I shouldn’t have to keep my receipt; you made the mistake!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; but I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. There has been an issue lately of people trying to return items they didn’t pay for.”

Customer: “Are you calling me a thief? You charged me $5 extra per sticker, and I bought ten stickers! Give me my money!”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry. I cannot do a return or exchange without a receipt. If you’d like to wait a few minutes, my manager will be back from her break. Honestly, she’s only going to tell you the same thing, however.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, I’m not waiting around for anyone! You’re wasting my time; now give me my money back! This happens all the time here! You guys didn’t ask for a receipt the last time! I’m a paying customer! I bought a bunch of these stickers before, and the same thing happened!”

Me: “If this has happened to you with this item before, why didn’t you confirm they were ringing in at the correct price the second time?”

(The woman turns beet red. Without saying anything, she throws the stack of stickers at me and storms out the door, shoving past people as she goes.)

Next Customer: “They really need to give you kids hazard pay for this s***.”

Turned The Problem Right Around

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling [tech support]. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, the mouse that came with my computer is defective; it is not working right.”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that; how exactly is the mouse defective?”

Customer: “When I move the mouse right, the pointer goes left. When I move the mouse left, the pointer goes right.”

Me: “Okay, when you look down at the mouse, there is one cable sticking out of the mouse, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Is that cable facing toward you or away from you?”

Customer: “The cable in the mouse is facing toward me.”

Me: “Let’s try this; please turn the mouse around so that the cable is facing away from you.”

Customer: “It’s working now!”

Fabricate An Excuse Not To

| Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

Customer: “Could you?”

A Good Attitude About A Bad Attitude

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Top

(Our refund policy has a shorter timeframe than most people assume, and they usually don’t read their receipts. A customer walks in carrying a bag with one of our games; she’s on her cell phone.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I just want to return this. I do not need to be spending $30 on a game right now.”

(She continues her phone conversation.)

Me: “Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s in the bag, honey.”

Me: “Okay, let me just check it.”

(I see that she’s a couple of days past the refund window.)

Me: “All right, I can get you a store credit for this.”

Customer: “What? You mean I can’t get my money back?”

Me: “It says right here, ‘Last day for refund is [date]’.”

(She is a little bit shocked, and continues talking on her cell phone.)

Customer: “They say I can’t return it… I can only get a store credit! I just drove all this way for nothing!”

(I prepare for her to start yelling at me.)

Customer: “Oh, I can’t believe this. I need to go. Just put it back in the bag. I need to take my bad attitude out of here!”

Me: “Um, sorry about that.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s okay; it’s not you, honey!”

(She grabs the bag and leaves quickly, still on her cell phone. I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “I can’t believe she didn’t yell at me! She just recognized that she was upset and left. This has never happened before!”

Even A Ninja Has To Work

| Manhattan, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m waiting in line. The customer in front of me has two unruly boys.)

Boy #1: *to his brother* “Is this for us?”

Boy #2: “I think so!”

(They proceed to stuff candy from the shelves into their pockets.)

Cashier: “I’m sorry; you need to pay for those.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

Boy #2: “Don’t say that. It’s a dirty word.”

(They empty their pockets.)

Boy #1: “What if I just take one?”

Cashier: “You still have to pay for it.”

Boy #1: “Poop!”

(He pulls an orange from his mother’s shopping cart. He throws it at the cashier, who catches it without looking up.)

Boy #2: “How did you do that?!”

Cashier: “Oh, all the staff here are ninjas.”

(Panicked, the boys take a few more pieces of candy out of their pockets. As he starts ringing me up, I hear him muttering to himself.)

Cashier: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”

Page 922/2,510First...920921922923924...Last