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    The Rewards Of Hard Work

    | British Columbia, Canada | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (At our store, we have this point card where if you get 10 points, you get a free drink. Unfortunately, if a customer has more than one card, we aren’t allowed to combine the points together.)

    Customer: *throws four cards in front of me* “Check these.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Customer: “Check them! I want you to combine the points together. I should I have a free drink now.”

    Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t allowed to combine the poi—”

    Customer’s friend: “What’re you waiting for? She’s a customer! You have to do as we say. Hurry up and give us our free drink.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I was trying to say before, we can’t combine card points.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, just use the one that has the most points on it.”

    Me: *proceeds to check each card*

    Customer’s friend: “Hurry up! You’re Chinese! You have to work faster!”

    (Once we’ve finished dealing with the customers, my co-worker comes up to me.)

    Coworker: “Man those two were just…really annoying. I’m surprised you didn’t tell that guy off.”

    Me: “Ah, it’s okay. I just used the card with the fewest points.”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Geography, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (Note: my job at the airport is to give information to tourists as a courtesy.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “How do I get to New Orleans from here?”

    Me: “You’ll need to take a flight. It’s on the other side of the country.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s in Louisiana.”

    Customer: *getting mad* “Well, I’m from Houston and I’d be pretty pissed off if I went all this way for nothing!”

    Me: “Wait…if you wanted to go to New Orleans, why did you take a plane to Los Angeles?”

    Customer: “Because I’ve been wanting to visit my old pen pal for awhile to surprise him. Every time I send him a letter, I write ‘New Orleans, LA’ on the envelope. That’s L.A.! That’s where I am, and I know you’re lying!”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    A Case Of Late Onset Dissatisfaction

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’m working at the returns desk. A customer enters with a 5-gallon bucket of deck stain and sets it on the counter with ease. This tips me off because these buckets weigh about 50lbs when full.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you have a problem with the stain?”

    Customer: “No, it just wasn’t the right color. I didn’t like it at all.”

    (I open the bucket and notice its 3/4 of the way used.)

    Me: “And you decided not to stop after the second coat?”

    Customer: *blank stare of guilt*

    Sweetness Is Infectious

    , | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our store has a coffee bar that sells pastry items that are made in house and is usually staffed by a barista. The bakery is located directly behind the coffee bar. I am working in the bakery. I hear a strange noise behind me and turn around to find an elderly gentleman standing at the coffee bar jingling his keys to get my attention.)

    Me: “Yes, sir? May I help you?”

    Customer: “What is the difference between these and these?” *points at cupcakes and muffins* “Why is one more expensive than the other?”

    Me: “Those are muffins and those are cupcakes. Cupcakes have more expensive ingredients and take more time to make; that’s why they cost more.”

    Customer: “But what’s the difference between a muffin and cupcake?”

    Me: “Cupcakes have icing and are generally sweeter.”

    Customer: “Why do they all have icing on them? Don’t you know there’s a diabetes epidemic! Sugar is dangerous!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t make the cupcakes; I’m one of the bread bakers. If you have questions, the pastry bakers are here in the afternoon.”

    Customer: “Why is there sugar in everything!? Don’t you know that sugar is bad for you?!”

    Me: “I don’t make the pastry items, sir. The pastry bakers are here in the afternoon if you’d like to call and ask questions.”

    Customer: “Diabetes is everywhere! You shouldn’t put icing on everything! It’s dangerous!” *walks away*

    He’ll Grow Up To Be A Fine Customer (From Hell) One Day

    | Newport, OR, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I’m helping visitors touch some of the animals on exhibit. One of the boys in the crowd is getting too rowdy with the snake I have out.)

    Me: “I’m going to need you to step back so someone else can have a turn.”

    Boy: “Why?”

    Me: “You’re being a little to rough with the animal. You can come back later, though.”

    Boy: “YOU ARE BEING RACIST!”

    Me: “Um…how?”

    Boy: “It’s because I’m black!”

    (Note: I’m white, and so is the boy.)

    Me: “Um, you’re white.”

    Boy: “Oh, so now you’re being a reverse racist!” *storms away*

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