Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,366 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    A Big Mouth Deserves A Big Mocha

    | Columbia, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m working the drive thru at a coffee shop.)

    Customer: “I’d like a mocha.”

    Me: “Certainly, what size on that?”

    Customer: *screaming* “MOCHA!!!”

    Me: “All right, go ahead and pull forward…”

    Judge Me By The Content Of My Crustaceans

    | New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (The customer approaching the seafood counter is an older male with a VFW hat and an American flag patch on his coat.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I want some white shrimp.”

    Me: “Raw or cooked?”

    Customer: “Raw.”

    (I lead the customer over to our raw case and continue talking as he starts reading the tags. It’s dead winter, so all our white shrimp are from warm South East Asian countries.)

    Me: “We keep our raw shrimp over here. What size would you—”

    Customer: “White shrimp! I want WHITE shrimp! Not from any of these raggedy-a** countries.”

    Me: *speechless*

    A Game Of Kat And Birdie

    | Georgia, USA | Funny Names

    (I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

    Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I need a refill.”

    Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

    Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

    Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”

    Future Budget Oversight Leaders Of America

    | USA | Family & Kids

    (I overhear a little boy around five years old asking his mother for lots of expensive toys.)

    Mother: “We can’t afford six. Just pick one and put the rest back.”

    Boy: “Just tell daddy to stop drinking beer this month!”

    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 6

    | Washington, USA |

    (A customer who doesn’t have an account wishes to cash a check drawn on the bank. However, because it’s a very large check, I am unable to complete the transaction without speaking to the maker of the check.)

    Customer: *angry* “Give me something that says you can’t negotiate this check!”

    Me: “I don’t have any kind of declined transaction form. Here’s your check back.”

    (As I attempt to explain, the customer becomes more and more hostile.)

    Customer: “I’d better speak to the vice president, or I’m calling the police!”

    (I call the police.)

    Me: “Okay, they’re on their way.”

    Customer: *confused* “…who is?”

    Me: “The police.”

    Customer: *scared* “Wait, I didn’t say to call the police!”

    Related:
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
    Be Careful What You Ask For

    Page 922/2,133First...920921922923924...Last