Featured Story:
  • Thou Shalt Not Pick And Choose
    (2,043 thumbs up)
  • January Theme Of The Month: Prank Calls!
    Submit your story today!

    A Stickler For Stickers

    | London, UK | Money

    (We are having a summer sale, and I am busy stickering a bunch of notebooks which are 50% off. Note: these stickers are merely to alert the customers of the discount; the items are automatically discounted when scanned at the till).

    Customer: *picks up notebook* “Is this half off, too?”

    Me: “Of course. All of these notebooks are.”

    Customer: “What about these two?”

    Me: “Yup, all of them!”

    Customer: “Could you put a sticker on this one, then?”

    Me: “It’s okay; it doesn’t need one. All our items are automatically reduced at the till. Is there anything else you need?”

    Customer: *agitated* “Yeah, I want a sticker on this d*** notebook!”

    Me: “Honestly, it’s an automatic system and it doesn’t need one.”

    (The customer just stands there. I eventually lean over and place a sticker on the notebook. The customer’s attitude immediately improves.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much!”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

    | FL, USA |

    (I am a customer at a bookstore. I’m browsing the teen literature section to see what all the hype is over the Twilight series. A nearby customer sees me paging through one of the books and speaks up excitedly.)

    Girl: “I love Twilight!”

    Me: “Oh, are you interested in vampire stories?”

    Girl: “Absolutely! I love anything to do with vampires! I know about all there is to know about them!”

    Me: “You must be a big Bram Stoker fan, then.”

    Girl: *quizzical look* “Who is that?”

    Me: *puts Twilight down quickly*

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Fee For The Taking

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Caller: “I would like free shipping for this product.”

    Me: “We’re sorry, but we don’t have any free shipping deals today.”

    Caller: “I want free shipping.”

    Me: “There is no free shipping, so I really can’t give you free shipping.”

    Caller: “I don’t want the product, then.”

    (I decide to try another approach.)

    Me: “How about I add $6.99 to your order and then give you free shipping? Would that be okay?”

    Caller: “That would be great! Thank you so much! Thanks for the great customer service!”

    Me: “Okay, sir. You go have a good day.”

    Caller: “Thank you! Thanks for the free shipping!”

    Get Your Own Employee

    | California, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a really busy weekend at the grocery store. I am trying to restock some product, but I am being asked for help left and right by customers.)

    Customer #1: “Hi! Can you help me find the salad dressing?”

    Me: “Of course! If you’ll just follow me, I can show you exactly where they are.”

    Customer #1: “Which one do you like best?”

    Me: “Personally—”

    (Suddenly another customer interrupts us.)

    Customer #2: “Show me where the olives are!”

    Me: “Miss, they’re two sections over on the very bottom shelf.” *to the first customer* “I really prefer the red wine—”

    Customer #2: “I can’t believe you won’t show me where they are. Are you really that lazy that you can’t take the time to help me?”

    Customer #1: “Back the f*** off, lady! She’s working her a** off! You’re the one being a lazy b****!”

    (The second customer grabs her olives and storms off.)

    Me: *to Customer #1* “You’re my favorite customer!”

    Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer in this story and am with my grandmother. The cashier is an older woman in her mid- to late-60s.)

    Cashier: “Well dearie, I think we’ve finished the returns. So, we can start on your purchases.” *starts scanning items*

    Me: “Thanks. It took me a while to find these bargains.”

    Cashier: “Well, I can tell by your savings now that you’ve done pretty well!”

    (Without warning, another customer pushes past me and my grandmother and starts trying to take my items.)

    Cashier: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, ma’am. These do not belong to you. These belong to these ladies here.”

    Other Customer: “RACISM! I knew this store was racist! Trying to take MY ITEMS and give them to this WHITE TRASH HERE!”

    (Note: the other customer is also white. My poor grandmother is bewildered and doesn’t know what to say or do. The cashier is on the verge of tears and calls security.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but those items are indeed mine. I spent almost two hours here with my grandmother trying to find them. If you want, I can tell you where I found them.”

    Other Customer: “LIES! You stole them from me! B***h, you are gonna get SUED!”

    (At this moment, security shows up.)

    Security: *to the other customer* “Oh, no she isn’t. Lady, we have to talk with you.”

    Other Customer: “About time! Take this trailer trash outta the store! Stealing my things! It’s a crime. I’ll sue you and your store and this b**** for thievery!”

    Security: “Lady, we have security cameras in the store. We checked them and discovered you have been the one stealing. So, you’re going to have to come with us.”

    Other Customer: “LIKE H*** I AM!” *runs out of the store with security chasing her*

    Cashier: *to me grandmother and I* “I am so sorry. Would you like store credit or something?”

    (My grandmother and I talk and decide not to take it because it wasn’t the store’s fault. Instead, I pay for my items and we leave. On our way out, we see the other customer is being questioned by police.)

    My Grandmother: *to the other customer* “B****! You got what you deserved. Karma got you back, fool!”

    Related:
    Ah, Grandmothers
    Ah, Mothers
    Ah, Fathers
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2

    Page 920/2,256First...918919920921922...Last