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    It’s Funnier When The Parents Do It

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a major gaming retailer. A customer walks in with her son and wants to trade games in for another game. I have a running joke I state to customers: when signing over games, I verify that they are their games and not games from some kids they beat up.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. Please sign on the pad stating these are your games, that you are voluntarily selling them to us, and that you didn’t beat up some kid and leave him in a snow drift somewhere.”

    (The customer’s 14 year old son cracks up laughing.)

    Customer: “How can you say that?! That is a rude and despicable thing to accuse me of!”

    Son: “Mom, he’s kidding!”

    (The customers behind her start laughing as well.)

    Customer: “Ah, okay. I’d like [game] in exchange, please.”

    The Downside To Survival

    | Joplin, MO, USA |

    (I live and work in Joplin, MO. A customer wants to place an order with the business I work and calls me.

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Supervisor, now!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but before I can transfer you to a supervisor, I need to get your name and phone number please.”

    Customer: “Okay, my name is [name] and my number is [number]. I am calling because I see this mailing address for Joplin, MO and I know that Joplin was wiped off the map from that tornado.”

    Me: “No, sir. Not all of the city was destroyed. Only one-third was wiped out.”

    Customer: “Supervisor, now!”

    (I get his name and number and get a supervisor. The supervisor tells him the same exact thing.)

    Customer: “You are all frauds!” *click*

    Health Care(less), Part 3

    , | Mississippi, USA | Money

    (I get a lot of billing questions on the phone.)

    Customer: *irately* “I need to know why my insurance was canceled at the end of July.”

    (I look up his policy in our database.)

    Me: “Sir, you haven’t paid your bill since May.”

    Customer: “I have to pay my bill?”

    Related:
    Health Care(less), Part 2
    Health Care(less)

    Annoying Pneumonia

    | Maryland, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am a nurse sitting with a mother whose son passed out during school. I am asking her some questions while he is examined.)

    Me: “Has he complained of any discomfort or anything strange such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, chest pains, muscle aches, difficulty breathing?”

    Mother: “Well, he was complaining that his chest hurt. He’s also been breathing heavily lately and coughing a lot.”

    Me: “When did this start?”

    Mother: “Oh, I don’t know…five or six days ago?”

    Me: “Your son has been complaining of chest pains and difficulty breathing for almost a week? Why didn’t you take him to the doctor?”

    Mother: “I thought he was just trying to get attention. You know kids–they always want attention!”

    Economics Is About Supply and Nevermind

    | Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (Our store has a weekly special where if you buy certain item(s), you get a few other items for free. The customer I’m ringing up has two pizzas, which are the items you need to buy for this week’s deal.)

    Me: “By the way, ma’am, since you bought these two pizzas, you can get chicken tenders, popsicles, and a 2 liters soda for free. It’s part of our weekly deal.”

    Customer: “I don’t want them.”

    Me: “Well, they’re free, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I don’t want them!”

    Me: “Well, you could just take them and give them to someone you know.”

    Customer: “Why would I give them anything for free? That’s stupid.”

    Me: “Well, you could charge them for it, I guess. If you sold it for less than we sell it, they’d buy it off of you, I’m sure.”

    Customer: “Nobody would be stupid enough to do that!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Just shut up and ring me up!”

    (I proceed to ring her up without her free items.)


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