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    Teachers Make A Difference

    , | Sydney, Australia | Math & Science

    (I’m working in the drive-thru, and am taking customer’s orders and their money. His daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

    Me: “So, that’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

    (The customer hands me $50.10.)

    Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

    Me: “$22.”

    Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s alright. But it’s the school holidays!”

    Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

    Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

    Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”

    From The Odd Couple To The Applauded Couple

    | Canberra, Australia | Bigotry, Top

    (I am working the day shift at our grocery store. I’m almost always working with the same two coworkers: Coworker #2 is a great, if manically excitable actor, while Coworker #1 is a very flamboyant gay who usually styles up his uniform. The customers love them, since they’re best friends and spend most of their time bantering back and forth like an odd couple. On this day, a man and a woman, both clearly tourists, walk over to the counter.)

    Man: *to Coworker #1* “Hey there! We were just wondering if you keep any good brandy in stock?”

    Coworker #1: “You are in luck, sir! What takes your fancy?”

    (From the moment he speaks, the man’s face goes from a friendly smile, to a grimace, to a particularly vicious glare.)

    Man: “OH. MY. GOD!”

    Coworker #1: *concerned* “What’s the matter, sir?”

    Man: “Are you a f**?! Oh my God, they’ve got a f** working the counter!”

    Woman: “You should be ashamed of yourself! There are children here!”

    (I won’t write out in full what they said, but the man and woman start screaming expletives at him, and accuse him of everything from raising the prices to poisoning the cigars. It’s all very bigoted and disgusting, and the other customers present are horrified while Coworker #1 is almost in tears. Suddenly, Coworker #2, who has just come out of the back, hears this and pushes through the crowd.)

    Coworker #2: “Excuse me, folks?”

    Woman: “Oh finally, a God-fearing man! Can you please get that f** out of our sight?!”

    (Coworker #2 is straight, but he pushes the man aside and grabs Coworker #1 in a tender embrace.)

    Coworker #2: “Actually, I was going to ask you to get out. But when in Canberra…”

    (In front of the whole store, Coworker #2 sweeps Coworker #1 into an overly dramatic, passionate kiss right on the lips. In abject terror, the couple flees the store. The other customers in the store break out in applause.)

    Man: “This is DISGUSTING!” *flees out of the store with his wife*

    Coworker #1: *breaks out into a huge grin* “Speak for yourself!”

    Not The Britest Bagel In The Bunch

    | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m a baker of the store, so I make all the donuts, bagels and muffins three days a week. This particular day I have finished baking and am now working on sandwich station. My hair is often multi-colored, so my coworkers call me ‘Rainbow Brite.’)

    Customer: “The girl making sandwiches got this hair in my food.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m very sorry, ma’am. Let me see that and we’ll remake it for you.”

    (The customer hands over a bagel which has a long blond hair sticking out of the cream cheese. My hair is short and currently black with pink/purple bangs. However, the customer’s daughter has long blond hair. Also, we don’t have a single blond girl working at our store—just two blond boys who have buzzcuts.)

    Coworker: “Well, ma’am, while this hair didn’t come from her, I’ll have her make it over for you anyways.”

    Customer: “Of course it’s her hair! Who else’s hair could it be?! I bet you are just covering for her. Let me speak to the person in charge.”

    Coworker: “Rainbow Brite, she wants to talk to you.”

    Me: *smiles* “Hi, hun, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I found this long blond hair in my bagel. Your coworker accused me of lying when I said it came from the girl making sandwiches!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can tell you she was telling the truth that the hair didn’t come from the sandwich girl, because that’s me, and my hair is neither blond nor long. However, I can remake your bagel and give you a refund if you would like.”

    Customer: “How dare you accuse me of lying?! I demand a refund!”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. Let me make your bagel again.”

    (I remake her bagel and give her a refund. As she’s walking out, her daughter speaks.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mommy, why were you so mean to her? You got my hair in the bagel, not her!”

    Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*

    A Stickler For Stickers

    | London, UK | Money

    (We are having a summer sale, and I am busy stickering a bunch of notebooks which are 50% off. Note: these stickers are merely to alert the customers of the discount; the items are automatically discounted when scanned at the till).

    Customer: *picks up notebook* “Is this half off, too?”

    Me: “Of course. All of these notebooks are.”

    Customer: “What about these two?”

    Me: “Yup, all of them!”

    Customer: “Could you put a sticker on this one, then?”

    Me: “It’s okay; it doesn’t need one. All our items are automatically reduced at the till. Is there anything else you need?”

    Customer: *agitated* “Yeah, I want a sticker on this d*** notebook!”

    Me: “Honestly, it’s an automatic system and it doesn’t need one.”

    (The customer just stands there. I eventually lean over and place a sticker on the notebook. The customer’s attitude immediately improves.)

    Customer: “Thank you very much!”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

    | FL, USA |

    (I am a customer at a bookstore. I’m browsing the teen literature section to see what all the hype is over the Twilight series. A nearby customer sees me paging through one of the books and speaks up excitedly.)

    Girl: “I love Twilight!”

    Me: “Oh, are you interested in vampire stories?”

    Girl: “Absolutely! I love anything to do with vampires! I know about all there is to know about them!”

    Me: “You must be a big Bram Stoker fan, then.”

    Girl: *quizzical look* “Who is that?”

    Me: *puts Twilight down quickly*

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

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