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  • Team Awkward

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

    (I am a customer in line behind a middle-aged woman who is buying a DVD. She’s been very nervous throughout the whole transaction.)

    Customer: “Oh, dear…I will have to hide this DVD when I get home!”

    Cashier: “Oh really? Why?”

    Customer: “My children don’t like this movie. I will have to watch it when they’re not home. I’m gonna have to hide it somewhere!” *leaves*

    Coworker: “What was she buying?”

    Cashier:Twilight.”

    Urine Need Of Training Yourself

    | Short Hills, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)

    Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”

    Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”

    Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”

    (To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)

    Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Oh, The Inhumanity

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: *looks at my name tag* “Hmm…’Karen’. I didn’t realize you guys had names.”

    (I assume the customer means he didn’t realize we have name tags.)

    Me: “Oh, yeah…we always have name tags in case you ever need to ask for us.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t know all you people who worked here had names. It’s neat!”

    Welcome To Scoff-Fuss Depot

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Bizarre

    (A male customer comes in looking for the copiers to enlarge a photo. I assist him with his copies and then return to my register. The customer continues to browse the baskets by the register.)

    Customer: *holds up a flashlight* “What’s this?”

    Me: “That’s a flashlight, sir.”

    Customer: *holds up a packet of Post-its* “What’s this?”

    Me: “Those are Post-it flags. They have adhesive on the back of one end so you can use them to mark pages in books.”

    Customer: “Adhesive, huh? Sure…” *gives me a knowing smile*

    Me: *confused*

    Customer: *holds up some speakers* “So, what are these? Little TVs?”

    Me: “No, sir…those are speakers.”

    Customer: *looks slightly alarmed* “Speakers? For what?”

    Me: “For a computer, sir.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “Computers! You know, I feel terrible for leaving here without a present for the grandkids, but EVERYTHING you sell these days is poison or dynamite! It’s not SAFE!” *storms out of the store*

    Aisle Never Make Cents

    , | New Brunswick, Canada | Money

    (I am working the cash one busy day. A customer is disputing the price of some items.)

    Customer: “Well, the sign said these were 3 for $1. That’s why I was buying them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but these are $1.25 a piece…they always have been. Would you still like to purchase them?”

    Customer: “Well, the sign on the display has them at 3 for $1. I want them, but at that price.”

    Me: “Madam, I can see the display from here and I don’t see the sign you are referring to. In fact, I set up that display myself last night. I can assure you there are no such signs on the display. Would you still like to purchase the items?”

    Customer: “Look, it’s right there! Can you not see? It says everything on that shelf is 3 for $1!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still don’t see the sign to which you are referring madam.”

    Customer: “IT’S RIGHT THERE ON THE TOP! The green and yellow sign with number 3 on it!”

    Me: “You mean the sign that says aisle 3?”

    Customer: “Exactly! Now…oh…”

    (The customer turns beet red and remains silent for the rest of the transaction. When the next customer in line comes up, she speaks.)

    Next Customer: *joking* “If that’s what the signs on each aisle mean, I think I’ll do all my shopping in aisle 7!”

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