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    Just Gender Role With It

    | New Berlin, WI, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in a gas station and am the only female employee that works the second shift on a regular basis. I have very short hair and am often mistaken for male if customers aren’t paying attention. Sometimes, it is a great source of amusement for me because it seems to bother them more than it bothers me. One early evening, a customer comes in with her little girl who is probably about 4.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, just this and…” *to her daughter* “Did you find the candy you want, sweetie?”

    (I notice now that the little girl is giving me a horrified look as if I have just told her there is no Santa.)

    Customer’s Daughter: *starts pulling on her mother’s shirt* “Mommy! Mommy! Is that a boy or a girl?”

    (The mother ignores her, but the little girl continues to ask and gets progressively louder each time. I am finishing running her credit card and hand her the receipt. At the top of every receipt is the name of the cashier. The woman picks up her daughter who is now glaring at me and finally answers her after reading my obviously female name.)

    Customer’s Daughter: *now yelling so loud everyone in the store can hear* “MOMMY!!! IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?!”

    Customer: “Shh! She’s a girl, sweetie. Now hush.”

    (I’m trying very hard not to laugh, as everyone in the store is now staring.)

    Me: “Mystery solved! Have a good—”

    Customer’s Daughter: *shrieking* “WHY DOES SHE HAVE SUCH SHORT HAIR?!”

    Customer: *turning six shades of red* “Because some women just like their hair to be short.”

    (The customer’s daughter turns to me and points accusingly.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “YOU! You shouldn’t have such short hair! Girls have long hair! DUH!”

    (After the woman has left with her boisterous, opinionated child in tow, a regular customer comes to my register.)

    Regular: *jokingly* “Well, hello again, young man! Having a good evening?”

    No Recognition Or Cognition

    | Canada | Language & Words, Technology

    (A customer comes in asking for dictation software. I showed him a very popular dictation package.)

    Customer: “Does that use voice recognition?”

    Me: “Yes, it does.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t want that! Voice recognition doesn’t work. Do you have any dictation software that doesn’t use voice recognition?”

    Me: “No, we do not.”

    Customer: *looks annoyed and leaves*

    Thanks For Shopping At Las Saggy Knees

    | Peterborough, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any las-ange?”

    Me: “Las-ange?”

    Customer: “Yes, it says on my list, ‘las-ange.’”

    (He shows me a shopping list with the word ‘lasagne’ written on it.)

    Me: *showing him lasagna* “Here’s the lasagna.”

    Customer: “No, no! That’s lasag-knee. I want las-ange.”

    Me: “Well, lasag-knee is the same as las-ange.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I’d better leave it. I don’t want to upset the misses by getting the wrong stuff!”

    Too Taxing On That Brain

    | Houston, TX, USA | Money

    (If the customer has 1) a very small tax refund in comparison to the preparation fees and 2) a simple tax situation, we will prepare and file their tax return for free. We also run a promotion where we’ll give customers $50 cash if they have to pay for tax return preparation. This is a conversation between my manager and a very loud customer.)

    Manager: “Since your refund is $137, I will file your return for free.”

    Customer: “Thank you! What about my $50?”

    Manager: “I cannot give you $50 because I am not charging you anything.”

    Customer: “I NEED THAT $50!”

    Manager: *remaining calm* “If I gave you $50, it would be like me paying you so that I can prepare your return, right? To give you the $50, I would have to be charging you something first, right? I am doing this return for you free.”

    Customer: “Okay, do that! Charge me!”

    Manager: “So you are saying that you would like me to charge you $100 for preparation so that I can then give you $50?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Aggress Unknown

    | Arizona, USA | Bizarre

    (I work in a well-known retail store chain. Since we are a smaller sized store, however, we can submit orders for products we offer from our company, but do not carry in store.)

    Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have that item in store, but I can order it for you. Would you like it sent directly to your house?”

    Customer:  ”Alright, that sounds fine.”

    (I proceed to process his order, then get to where I need to enter the customer’s shipping information.)

    Me: “Alright, and the address for the shipping information?”

    Customer: “NO.”

    Me: *confused* “Um…I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I said ‘no!’ You should have a better way to do this. This is ridiculous. I’m not giving you my address!”

    Me: “Sir, you do understand that if we are to ship to your home, we need to know where to ship the item to.”

    Customer: “I’m not giving you my address!”

    Me: *trying another approach* “I did say that we can ship it to your home, but that means we can’t do that if we don’t have an address to ship it to.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not giving you my address. I can’t believe how poorly this store handles this kind of stuff! You know how many drug addicts are out there?!”

    Me: “I’m…sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, they’re all hopped up on coke and meth. A buddy of mine, a war vet, was just hit with a crowbar because one of these guys went to go break the window open, but it was already open, and threw the crowbar into him! Cut him up, he’s got a scar and had to get stitches! How dare you ask for my address? You’ll just steal my identity and rob my house!”

    Me: *speechless*

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