Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,792 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Dumb Without Shadow Of A Doubt

    | Manchester, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m putting the salad on a customer’s sandwich.)

    Customer: “What’s that black thing on there?”

    (I check to see if I’ve put olives on the sandwich by mistake.)

    Me: “What black thing?”

    Customer: “That big black thing right there!”

    (I check again.)

    Me: “Erm, that’s the shadow of my hand.”

    Customer: “I don’t want that. Take it off!”

    Me: *moves hand*

    Customer: “That’s better.”

    It’s So Fluffy!

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, laundry, and generally other things that need help. As I’m exchanging a guest’s towels, her friend comes out and seems really frustrated.)

    Guest: “Um, do you guys actually wash the pillows here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can assure you that all the pillows in here are clean.”

    Guest: “Obviously they’re clean! But do you wash them?”

    Me:  ”Uh…yes, we do.”

    Guest:  ”I knew it! THAT’S WHY THE PILLOWS ARE TOO G** D*** FLUFFY!”

    Me:  ”I’m sorry to hear that you were uncomfortable. Sometimes guests that are more used to things from their house bring their own pillows.”

    Guest: “And why the h*** would I do that?! All you d*** people would just steal it and make it fluffy!”

    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 5

    | British Columbia, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (A young man in his early 20s approaches the counter. He is dressed very much like a typical frat boy.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [ice cream parlor]! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get cotton candy and cake batter ice cream mixed together? And when you put it in the bowl, can you put the cone on top like a hat and make a smiley face out of gummy bears?”

    Me: “Awww, sure! Who’s it for?”

    Customer: *quite seriously* “Me!”

    Me: “Awesome.”

    Related:
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 4
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 3
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends, Part 2
    For Some, Childhood Never Ends

    Relatively Misspeaking

    | London, UK |

    Me: “Your next of kin is listed as your ‘cousin’s sister’?”

    Student: “Yes.”

    Me: “You do realize your cousin’s sister is still your cousin right?”

    Student: “No, it’s my cousin’s sister.”

    Me: “That’s still your cousin.”

    Student: “No, it’s my first cousin’s sister!”

    Waste Not, Bag Not

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (In Canada, we charge five cents for each plastic bag used, which goes to environmental fees or charities. Every store except Walmart has charged for bags for 3-4 years now.)

    Customer: “You guys charge for bags?! You’re kidding me!”

    Me: “Yup, we do.”

    Customer: “It’s ridiculous!”

    Customer’s Daughter: “But mom, we’re not going to need bags anyway.”

    Customer: “I know, but it’s just so greedy! I’m not going to shop at all these stores anymore if you guys keep charging for bags!”

    Page 916/2,158First...914915916917918...Last