Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,704 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

    | Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

    Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

    Customer: “I have my ID though!”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

    Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

    The Proof Is In The Package

    | California, USA |

    Caller: “I need to track a couple of shipments. Can you look those up for me?”

    Me: “Sure. What are the invoice numbers?”

    Caller: “The tracking numbers are [tracking numbers].”

    Me: “I see that both deliveries were made last week. Do you think the boxes were lost in transit?”

    Caller: “No, they’re right here on my desk. I just need proof that they were delivered.”

    Me: *temporarily speechless* “Well, have a nice day!”

    Caller: “You do the same!”

    Please Don’t Get P’ed Off

    | North Carolina, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m walking towards a children’s movie to clean it out after the show. A woman and her son walk out and wave me over.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am? How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but my son had an accident in your theater.”

    Me: “What kind of accident?”

    Customer: “He peed in the seat. He was so busy watching the movie that he forgot to go.”

    Me: “I understand. If you could just tell me which seats you were sitting in, I’ll go clean them out.”

    Customer: “The ones with the pee in the seat, I think…”

    You’re Really Pushing My Buttons Today

    | Oregon, USA | Technology

    (I am an administrator at a computer lab.)

    User: “Hey, can I use one of your computers?”

    Me: “Sure, station #3 is free.”

    User: “But the screen is dark.”

    Me: “It’s just the screen saver. Press a button, and it’ll go away.”

    (She presses the power button, effectively turning the computer off.)

    User: “But it’s still dark!”

    From Sea To Shining Sea

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Geography

    (I’m in the middle of sharing interesting facts about Seattle to a group of 20. Unfortunately, one tourist has been talking on the phone the entire time, making it hard for others to hear me.)

    Me: “Now, back when the Space Needle was built, it was the tallest building west of the Mississippi River and it—”

    Tourist: “Wait, which of these rivers is the Mississippi?”

    Me: “Well, that’s the Puget sound to your right. The two other large bodies of water you can see are Lake Union and Lake Washington—”

    Tourist: “So, where’s the river?”

    Me: “You mean the Mississippi River?”

    Customer: “Well, duh.”

    Me: “I guess about 1600 miles east of here.”

    Customer: “So, you can’t see it, then?”

    Me: “Not from here, no.”

    Customer: “Oh.”


    Page 914/2,094First...912913914915916...Last