(A Native Canadian customer comes into the store with five small children.)
Customer: “Why do the Deluxe and the Hawaiian pizza cost the same? One has more toppings!”
Me: “To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s just the way the company works, I guess.”
Customer: “Well, can I get a discount for the Hawaiian, then? It has five less toppings!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”
Customer: *long pause* “You’re a cruel person.”
Me: “Come again?”
Customer: “Your people come here, give diseases, kill us all, steal our land, put our children in residential schools, and now this!”
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2,550 Thumbs Up!)
Customer:“Where is it?”
Me: “Where is what?”
Customer:“The bridge! The bridge over the lake.”
Me:“I’m sorry, sir, but there is no bridge over the lake.”
(The customer points to a local map.)
Customer: “There is, it’s right there! A bridge.”
Me: “Sir, that would be the state line that you are pointing at. It’s the line that separates California from Nevada. The state line.”
Customer:“Oh…so there’s no bridge?”
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1,382 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Can I help you sir?”
Customer: “Yes do you have any books by Alexander Dumba**?”
Me: “I think you mean Alexandre Dumas?”
Customer: “Oh, is that how you say it?”
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2,055 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [home improvement store]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Hi, I just had my shed delivered this morning and you people sent me the wrong size.”
Me: “Okay, just let me pull up your order here and see what may have gone wrong.”
Customer: “I don’t know how you people could have messed this up, I clearly ordered a 6×6 shed and I just measured the one you delivered and its clearly only 4×6.”
Me: “Okay, sir. Well, the type of shed we delivered only comes in a 6×6 model. Did you happen to have any parts left over when you finished building it?”
Customer: “Oh, well I haven’t actually built it yet. But I’ve measured the crate it comes in and it only measure 4×6.”
Me: “Sir, what does the label on the crate say?”
Customer: “It says 6×6. But I measured it and it’s only 4×6!”
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1,833 Thumbs Up!)
(A day camp comes to my pool every weekday. The kids are on average 7 years old.)
Girl: “I’m a mermaid!”
Me: “That’s nice.”
(Next day…)
Girl: “I’m a vampire! Gaaargh!”
Me: “But yesterday you were a mermaid.”
Girl: “I’m a vampire mermaid! Gaaargh!”
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3,409 Thumbs Up!)
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