November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

Making A Spectacles Of One Self

| Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am working in the emergency department. I am tending to an elderly woman who is accompanied by her middle-aged daughter. The woman’s daughter has just sent a text.)

Daughter: “Well, I hope he can read what I typed, because I can’t see anything without my glasses.”

Mother: “You do know that you have a pair of glasses on your head, don’t you?”

(A look of embarrassment crosses the woman’s face, and her mother bursts out laughing hysterically. I smile and turn to the mother.)

Me: “It’s nice when someone else does that for a change, isn’t it?”

(The mother has a big smile on her face.)

Mother: “Yes, it is!”

They Paid The Price

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work in the print and copy area of my store. A customer is giving my new coworker a hard time about the cost of copying. I walk over.)

Customer: “Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS; I refuse to pay that much! You’re an idiot! You’re all idiots! You should be doing this for free for me, because of how dumb you all are!”

Me: “What my coworker has explained to you is correct. We price match all of our competitors, and I can guarantee you that we have the cheapest price.”

Customer: “I will NEVER use your services. You are thieves who are trying to rip-off an old woman! I will take my business elsewhere!”

(The customer storms out.)

Coworker: “I bet she’ll be back.”

(A few hours later, the customer returns.)

Customer: *meekly and very politely* “I’d like this done, please.”

Discrimi(nation), Part 2

| AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(The store I work for is run by a Vietnamese family. I am the only Caucasian working there, and the only other non-Vietnamese employee is often mistaken for being Vietnamese because of the color of his skin. We usually work together. A drunk customer comes in. Since law prohibits us from selling to people who are intoxicated, my coworker heads him off.)

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, you’ve had enough for tonight. We can’t serve you any more.”

Customer: “F*** you, c****! Get out of my way!”

Coworker: “Listen, man, there’s no need to get angry here; just go home go to bed. You can start again tomorrow.”

(The customer stumbles up to me at the till.)

Customer: “F****** c****, tryin’ ta tell me he won’t serve me.”

Me: “Sir, we won’t be serving you anymore tonight, or ever again. That word you keep using derogatorily refers to a Chinese person. The owners of this store are from Vietnam.”

Customer: “Whatever, they should all go back where they come from, starting with that fat f***!”

(I am trying not to laugh.)

Customer: “What’s so funny?”

Me: “The person you just said should go back where he comes from is pure Cree First Nations. His people have been here long before ours. Now I believe I told you we won’t be serving you anymore; get out now.”


The Key To Karma

| VA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(A sour-looking customer comes in to check in. Throughout, I try to remain polite and friendly, but he just grunts and snatches his key out of my hand and goes up to his room. A few minutes later, he storms back in, and flings the keycards at me.)


Me: “I’m sorry about that; maybe I made a mistake keying them.”

(I check the system.)

Me: “Huh, these say that they are working. Are you sure that you went to the right room?”

Customer: “I went to 510!”

Me: “It says 518.”

(The customer turns pale, snatches the keys again, and storms off. I don’t hear from him again, so I guess he got the right room. Meanwhile, I get a nasty call from the person who was in room 510, saying that someone had tried to break down her door, screaming!)