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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    We Call Them Magic Voice Boxes

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Technology

    (A customer comes in to return a phone she bought in June. Our store has a strict 30 day return policy on electronics and it is now September. I explain this to the customer and she leaves, only to return a few minutes later.)

    Customer: “You said it was 30 days for electronics, but this is a phone.”

    Me: “A phone is an electronic device.”

    Customer: “Really? I didn’t know that.”

    Me: “The policy is actually for all items from the electronics department. Even a TV stand would have a 30 day return period.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.” *walks away shaking head* “I didn’t know phones were electronic.”

    Dangerously Cheesy

    | John's Creek, GA, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Where is your mad cow cheese?”

    Me: “Mad cow cheese, ma’am? Do you mean Laughing Cow cheese?”

    Customer: “No! Mad cow cheese! Everyone carries it.”

    (At this point, I’m trying really hard not to laugh even though other customers are. I ask her to follow me and I show her the laughing cow cheese.)

    Customer: “Yes! Mad cow cheese!” *takes cheese and continues shopping*

    (I walk back to the area I work in, where another regular customer is waiting.)

    Another customer: *laughs* “It’s okay, you can laugh now.”

    The Mindreader’s Burden

    | Elizabeth, NJ, USA |

    (I am helping a man and his 9 year old daughter.)

    Customer: “So, how long do I have to return this?”

    Me: “You have 45 days sir. The date is on the bottom of the receipt. Here, it says October 19th is the last day for returns. Today is September 4th.”

    Customer: “October 19th? So I only have a week to return this?”

    Me: “Um–”

    Daughter: “Dad, stop thinking out loud. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

    The Count Would Be Proud

    , | Eugene, OR, USA | Top

    (A customer bursts into the store and slams a bag of food onto the counter and immediately starts yelling.)

    Customer: “I ordered six hamburgers and I only got…”

    (The customer starts pulling the burgers out one by one counting them loudly for the whole store to hear.)

    Customer: “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE!”

    (Her face turns bright red as she realizes her error.)

    Customer: “…six.”

    (The customer quickly throws the burgers back into the bag and runs out of the store.)

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners, Part 2

    | Long Island, NY, USA |

    (A little girl and her mother walk in. At first, all is normal. The woman pays for her medications and her daughter’s candy.)

    Girl: “Thank you!”

    Me: “Aw, you’re wel–”

    Mother: “Honey! Don’t thank him. He’s doing his job! I’m very sorry, sir.”

    Me: *bewildered* “You don’t need to ap–”

    Girl: “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Mother: “Very good, hun. Now, let’s go before we waste more of his time.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners


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