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    A-moooo-sing Customers, Part 2

    | France | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (We’re located in a small village in a rural area, but each year, we have plenty of foreign tourists. I’m the only person fluent in english at the office. One day, a family of tourists (a father, a mother and their teenage son and daughter) walk in.)

    Father: *in French* “Hello, sir. Can you help me to find how to go to a few places? I can’t find them on my map.”

    Me: *in French* “Sure, let me show you. May I see your map?”

    (As I show the father directions on his map, I see the kids giggling and chatting in English in the back. They’re making fun of my coworker.)

    Daughter: *in English* “God, this guy looks so stupid!”

    Son: *in English* “Totally! Look at his eyes! It totally looks like a cow’s eyes!”

    Daughter: *in English* “And look at his hair! Soooo dorky!”

    (The father says nothing, despite clearly hearing them.)

    Father: *in French* “Alright, I think I got it. Thank you for your time.”

    Me: “Mooooooooooooooo!”

    Father: *in French* “What are you doing?!”

    Me: *grinning, in English* “That’s the cow word for ‘Have a nice day.’”

    (The parents and their two children stay stunned for a second. Then, both parents start to laugh and the kids turn cherry red.)

    Mother: *laughing, in English* “Weren’t expecting that now, you two?”

    (Embarrassed, the kids try to leave, but the parents grab them both by their shoulders.)

    Son: *in English* “Let me go, Dad!”

    Father: *still laughing, in English* “We’re not leaving until both of you apologize to this man!”

    (The parents refused to move or let them go until I received an apology from both kids. The whole family left, the parents still joking and the kids almost running away.)

    Related:
    A-moooo-sing Customers

    Copy That, Not, Part 2

    | Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (At our copy shop, we have prepaid cards to use in the self serve area. Sometimes, the cards don’t activate right after purchasing them. Any time this happens, simply inserting into the receipt printer will activate it. We’re not sure why, but it works.)

    Customer: “My card won’t work!”

    Me: “Oh, is it saying there’s no money on it?”

    Customer: “Ya! And I gave you $3! It ate my money!”

    Me: “No, it didn’t. Sometimes, the cards take a while to activate. All you have to do it is put it in the receipt printer, and then it will work. As soon as the card pops back out, it’ll be good to go.”

    (The customer storms off. I watch her insert her card into the printer, and then stare are it for almost a minute after it pops back out. She then huffs and makes her way back over to me.)

    Customer: “It’s still not working!”

    Me: “Yep, it should be fixed now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t work!”

    Me: “You haven’t tried to copy with it yet, though. Put it in the copier, and it will work for you.”

    Customer: “Just put $3 on my card!”

    Me: “I did already. It wasn’t working before, but I assure you, it will work now.”

    Customer: “Look, I just want to make copies, and you’re making this difficult for me! I told you already the darn card isn’t working! I put it in the machine like you told me, and then it gave my card back!”

    Me: “Yep, so it should work now.”

    Customer: “But it didn’t print a receipt!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay, it will still work. The only reason it didn’t print a receipt is because you haven’t made copies on it yet. But it will work now.”

    Customer: “You’re not listening to me! It won’t work! I put it in that machine like you said and it’s still broken!”

    Me: “Have you tried putting it into a copier yet?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “So, go try. It’ll work.”

    Customer: *huffs and walks off to put it into a copier*

    (It worked.)

    Related:
    Copy That, Not

    Misery Works At Companies

    | Blackwood, NJ, USA |

    (I’m a customer at a grocery store. It’s late evening, 9 pm or so. A customer is complaining about a sale price on a single bag of potato chips being one price, but they’re ringing up as another.)

    Cashier: “Sir, the tag says right here: ‘Requires loyalty card.’”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want your stupid card! Everywhere I go, they want me to get a f***in’ loyalty card! I just want my God-given potato chips for a God-lovin’ price!”

    Cashier: “Sir, as you can see, the tag shows—”

    Customer: “You know what? I don’t want your f***in’ potato chips. God doesn’t love people who don’t give their God-given discounts!” *storms out*

    (I walk up and give the cashier a second to breathe.)

    Me: “Hi, I hope your night gets better, and yes, I have my card. You have a great attitude, you did well, and the fact that you’re still smiling tells me you get these people a lot.”

    Cashier: “You sound like you have an idea.”

    Me: “3 years in retail and 15 in phone support. We get ‘em all the time.”

    They Call Her Cinderhella

    | USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a register, and really enjoy interacting with kids that come through my line. I see a 4-year-old girl all dressed in pink.)

    Me: “Hey there, pumpkin. How are you today?”

    (The little girl crosses her arm, stomps her foot, and starts pouting.)

    Little Girl: “I am NOT a pumpkin! I am a PRINCESS! Mommy, you tell her! I AM A PRINCESS!”

    Me: “Yes, you certainly are…”

    Self-Serving Stupidity Will Not Be Served

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I am a customer, standing third in line behind a very well-dressed woman in her 50s—we’ll call her Customer #1. The cashier, in her 70s, has just finished ringing out a young 20-something woman with pink hair. It is about 1 am and I am dead tired, literally swaying on my feet. There are three other customers behind me, which we’ll call Customers #2-#4.)

    Cashier: *to Customer #1* “Oh dear, just a moment!”

    (With that, the cashier runs off after the pink-haired customer, who has left behind a gift card she just purchased. Angrily, Customer #1 slams a 24-pack of canned drinks on the counter and turns to me.)

    Customer #1: “I bet she is going to try to make me put this back in my cart, but I won’t. It’s a little game I like to play called, ‘Who’s Getting Paid for This?’”

    (Note: Customer #1 has left a 40-pound bag of cat litter and 20-pound bag of cat food in her cart, both heavier than the drinks.)

    Me: *shrugs*

    (The cashier returns, panting and out of breath.)

    Cashier: “Sorry about that. She left her gift c—”

    Customer #1: “I don’t care. Just ring my purchases up!”

    Cashier: “Oh, um… right, sorry.”

    (The cashier rings the small items through, double-bagging the cans and folding the clothing with care, before using the hand scanner to ring up the drinks, the litter, and the cat food.)

    Cashier: “Your total is [price], ma’am.”

    Customer #1: “Well, it’s about time. Load my d*** cart so I can get the h*** out this s***hole!”

    (The cashier sets the bags in the cart around the litter and cat food, and then looks at the 24-pack of drinks.)

    Cashier: “You’ll have to set the pop in the cart, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I can’t lift it.”

    Customer #1: “You can’t lift it? What kind of bulls*** is that? Why the h*** not?”

    Cashier: “I can’t lift over 10 pounds; doctor’s orders.”

    Customer #1: “That is none of my business. Why are you telling me this? Just do your d*** job!”

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You asked her why; that is why she’s telling you. Ugh!”

    Customer #1: *glares at Customer #2* “Well, this is not acceptable. Get your manager over here now. Maybe he can load my cart since you are too lazy.”

    (At this point, I’ve had enough and grab Customer #1′s 24-pack of drinks and set it in her cart.)

    Customer #1: “What the f*** are you doing?!”

    Me: “Lady, it is 1 am. I am tired and want to go home. I will load the d*** groceries in your car if it gets you out of the way faster!”

    Customer #1: “You have no right to touch my groceries!”

    Customer #2: “And you have no right to be such a b****. You didn’t have to lift it, she did…” *points at me* “…even though you obviously were able to put it in the cart and on the counter by yourself. You got your change, so get out of the way!”

    Customers #3 & #4: *echoes of agreement*

    Customer #1: “Well, I never—“

    Me: “It is obvious you have ‘never.’ You have NEVER had to work a low paying job with a**hole customers who get enjoyment out of making your life harder. We get it. Now go away!”

    (I set my two items on the counter as Customer #1 stomps away to customer service.)

    Cashier: *crying silently* “Thank you so much.”

    (Customer #2 and I stand away from the register for a few minutes talking after that. Customer #1 has caused enough trouble at this point to be escorted out of the store by the store manager and security. Afterwards, the store manager hugs his cashier and sends her to break so she can calm down. As it turns out, the cashier is his ailing aunt who has been working while getting chemotherapy. She really isn’t supposed to be working at all, but is unable to afford treatment otherwise.)

    Store Manager: “There is only so much stupid I can tolerate!”

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