Pen Her In For A Discount

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

(I am a cashier at a small chain grocery store in a small town. I am monitoring the self-checkout station when a customer walks up to me.)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Hi is [coworker’s name] still here?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but he has already left for the evening. Is there something I could assist you with?”

Customer: “Well, I am so embarrassed. He was my cashier earlier today and he asked me if I gave his pen back to him. I checked my pockets and I thought I did, but when I got home I found it in my purse! Could I leave this with you and you give it to him next time he comes in?”

Me: *slightly shocked* “Ma’am, you mean to tell me you drove all the way back here to return a pen to my coworker?”

Customer: “Yes. I told him I hadn’t took it. I feel so bad!”

Me: “Well that is very kind of you, I am sure he will appreciate it. I will make sure to leave him a note letting him know you returned it. Might I ask how far you had to drive to return it?”

Customer: “Well, I live in [town about 40 minutes away from store location].”

Me:What!?”

Twist And Shout

| Ireland | Extra Stupid

(I work for a well known camera brand in their technical and customer support department. A customer calls in with quite an angry tone.)

Customer: “I have bought a lens for my camera and the lens cap is stuck on it and won’t come off. This is the second lens of this kind I have had. I had to get the first one replaced for the same issue. There is clearly a fault with this lens.”

Me: “I am very sorry to hear of your issue, sir. Can I ask what lens it is you have and where you bought it from?”

Customer: “It is a [lens model], and I bought it from [store]’s online store.”

Me: “Thank you. Can you please explain in what way you are having difficulty in getting the lens cap off?”

(I ask this because the lens cap normally just twists off, and it would be very unlikely for it to be stuck on purchasing the lens.)

Customer: “What a stupid question! I am turning it like on all my other lens. They’re supposed to twist off!”

Me: “Have you tried turning it the other way sir?”

Customer: “Oh!”

(There’s a long pause while the customer fiddles with their camera.)

Customer: “…Well, it should be clearer.” *click*

On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 3

| TN, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Love/Romance, Top

(My uncle is gay, but isn’t flamboyant. He works as a service advisor at a car dealership. He is scheduling an appointment for an elderly customer.)

Uncle: “All right. So, if you come in next week we can fix your car. However, I am going to be on vacation next week, so you’ll need to see [other service advisor].

Customer: “Ah, that’s all right. Where are you heading to?”

Uncle: “I’m going to Cape Cod.”

Customer: “Well, be careful up there.”

Uncle: “Why?”

Customer: “Cause up there’s Queersville.”

Uncle: “Uh… excuse me?!”

Customer: “Queersville; it’s full of f**s!”

Uncle: *calmly* “Thank you for warning me. I’ll be sure to tell my boyfriend, cause he sure hates f**s!”

Customer: *turns pales and leaves*

Related:
On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part

March Themed Story Giveaway: Crimes & Punishments!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
Crimes & Punishments!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers doing something criminal or illegal—and, if they were caught, how they were punished.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Awesome Customers. The winning submission: Fresh Bread, Stale Attitude (1,756 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 3!

Caught On Con-did Camera

| Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

(I am working as a ride attendant for a theme park roller coaster.)

Me: *over the intercom* “Once the gates have opened completely, you may make your way to the farthest available seat. Please make sure to secure all personal belongings and fasten your seat belt securely.”

(Two men approach me from the loading gates, one of whom is in a wheelchair.)

Disabled Guest: “Hey, buddy. You think you could help my friend get me into the seat there?”

Me: “Uh, sure, I could do that.”

(His friend wheels him over to the end of a row of seats and puts the brake on his chair.)

Me: “What do you need me to do?”

Friend: “You get his feet; I’ll get him from the back.”

Disabled Guest: “Thanks again.”

(The disabled guest raises his arms and his friend grabs him around the chest while I lift his feet off the ground and we sidle over to the train car. Suddenly the disabled guest twists his upper body violently and his friend drops him on his rear end.)

Disabled Guest: “OH, GOD!”

Friend: “What the f*** did you just do?!””

Me: *terrified* “What?”

Disabled Guest: “F***, s***, f***! I think my back is busted!”

Friend: *pointing at me, looking all around* “You all saw him! He dropped my buddy on purpose! That’s first-degree assault!”

Me: “But I didn’t do anything!”

Disabled Guest: *still pretending to be in pain* “Somebody call an ambulance! Somebody call a lawyer! Call the cops!”

Friend: *stomping over to stand one inch from me* “You think just ’cause my buddy’s in a wheelchair you can do whatever you f****** want to him? We’re gonna sue the s*** out of your f****** a**!”

(He shoves me with both hands, but then the guy in the end seat in the row behind the one we were trying to sit the disabled man in yells at them and points his camera phone at them.)

Camera Guy: “Hey! You leave him alone! I saw what you did! You tried to set him up! He didn’t drop your friend! You did!”

(The disabled guest, still lying on the ground, abruptly stops yelling in pain.)

Friend: “F*** you, f**! You can’t prove anything!”

Camera Guy: “Oh, yeah? I got the whole thing on video!” *he waves his phone at them*

Friend: “Give me that f****** phone!”

(The disabled guest’s friend lunges for the phone but the other man quickly hands it to his wife two seats over. The friend hits his head on the side of the train car and his extended hand scratches the camera man’s neck.)

Disabled Guest: “[Friend], get the f****** phone, you r****d!”

(The charade begins to fall apart as his friend staggers and clutches his head, which is now bleeding.)

Friend: *staggering and clutching his head, which is now bleeding* “F*** you!”

Camera Guy: “Somebody call security! These guys are con artists! I got it all on tape!”

(I dash around the disabled guest, having to jump as he tries to grab me by the legs, and run back to the intercom.)

Me: “Security to [roller coaster] loading platform. Emergency!”

(Three security guards armed with night sticks and mace show up only a few seconds later and have to drag the disabled man’s friend away as he was trading kicks with the camera guy and the camera guy’s wife. The camera couple and the two men are both taken to the nearest emergency station, and security makes me go with them. A park official shows up about half an hour later to take statements from everyone involved separately. After I give my statement, I wait alone in a waiting room for some time before a park doctor comes in and tells me the camera couple wants to talk to me. I’m led into their room.)

Camera Guy: “Hey, I wanted you to know I saw everything that happened. If that guy tries any legal s*** against you, I’ll be a witness.”

Me: “That would be great of you. I just… I don’t know what’s going on.”

Camera Guy’s Wife: “This place is full of cheaters and liars; that’s what’s going on.”

Camera Guy: “D*** right, honey.”

(The park official walks in again.)

Camera Guy: “You don’t believe that jacka**’s story, do you?” *points to me* “This guy didn’t do anything wrong. I caught it all on video with my phone if you need proof.”

Park Official: “That won’t be necessary, sir. We have security cameras all over the park. We saw what those men did.”

(The two men were banned from the park and the able-bodied one was charged with assault on the camera guy and his wife, who were given a refund on their admission, four additional one-day tickets, vouchers for free meals at any restaurant in the park, and two huge stuffed animals for their kids, all free.)

Page 913/2,466First...911912913914915...Last