November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Blood Money

| NY, USA | Health & Body, Money

(A customer walks up to my teller window, and throws two rolls of pennies down. They are covered in wet blood. I try not to look disgusted.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; I can’t accept that.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s good American money.”

Me: “I’m sure it is, but it’s covered in blood; I’m not going to touch that.”

Customer: “It’s fine; it’s just my blood.”

Me: “Excuse me while I get my manager.”

(I happily escape to the back to try to settle my stomach while the manager talks to the man.)

Manager: “Sir, we can’t accept these pennies like this.”

Customer: “It’s perfectly good American money!”

Manager: “Yes, but we can’t take it like this. If you like, I can give you new wrappers. You can re-roll the pennies, and then we can deposit them for you.”

Customer: “F*** this country! My money isn’t good in a bank; it isn’t good anywhere!” *storms out*

A Cent-less Attack

, | WA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m taking money at the first window. A car pulls up with a middle-aged customer driving, and what looks to be her older mother in the passenger seat.)

Me: “Hi, your total is—.”

Mother: “Where do we get my food?! I’m hungry! This line is taking too long!”

Daughter: “You have to pay first, mom.”

Mother: “I’m getting it!”

(She scrounges around for money in her purse. She hands me what’s supposed to be exact change. I count it three times, and she’s a penny short.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you have a penny?”

Mother: “Are you serious? I’m not giving you no d*** penny! Where’s my food?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need that penny, or my till will come out short.”

Mother: “And I said you ain’t getting no d*** penny!”

(She starts shouting at her daughter.)

Mother: “Drive to the next window!”

(The daughter looks horrified about her mother’s behavior, and doesn’t move.)

Mother: “Fine! I’ll get it myself!”

(The mother gets out of the car, and starts walking toward the next window.)

Me: “Ma’am, can you please get back in your car?”

Mother: “F*** you!”

(The daughter is horrified, apologizes to me, and drives forward. A minute later, I see the mother walk back to my open window as I’m paying out another customer. She throws a penny at me, which hits me in the knuckle and bruises it.)

Mother: “There’s your d*** penny!”

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink

| USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

Making A Spectacles Of One Self

| Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I am working in the emergency department. I am tending to an elderly woman who is accompanied by her middle-aged daughter. The woman’s daughter has just sent a text.)

Daughter: “Well, I hope he can read what I typed, because I can’t see anything without my glasses.”

Mother: “You do know that you have a pair of glasses on your head, don’t you?”

(A look of embarrassment crosses the woman’s face, and her mother bursts out laughing hysterically. I smile and turn to the mother.)

Me: “It’s nice when someone else does that for a change, isn’t it?”

(The mother has a big smile on her face.)

Mother: “Yes, it is!”

They Paid The Price

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Money

(I work in the print and copy area of my store. A customer is giving my new coworker a hard time about the cost of copying. I walk over.)

Customer: “Your prices are OUTRAGEOUS; I refuse to pay that much! You’re an idiot! You’re all idiots! You should be doing this for free for me, because of how dumb you all are!”

Me: “What my coworker has explained to you is correct. We price match all of our competitors, and I can guarantee you that we have the cheapest price.”

Customer: “I will NEVER use your services. You are thieves who are trying to rip-off an old woman! I will take my business elsewhere!”

(The customer storms out.)

Coworker: “I bet she’ll be back.”

(A few hours later, the customer returns.)

Customer: *meekly and very politely* “I’d like this done, please.”