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    You Can’t Have Your Cake And Believe It Too

    | Adelaide, Australia | Food & Drink

    (A customer walks into the shop and starts looking at our cakes.)

    Customer: “Cheesecake?” *points at a carrot and walnut cake*

    Coworker: “No, that’s a carrot cake. We have cheesecake right over here.”

    (I show the customer the cheesecake.)

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (The customer walks away, but returns ten minutes later.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “That’s cheesecake?” *points at the carrot cake again*

    Me: “No, sorry. That’s a carrot cake.”

    Customer: “Cheesecake?” *points at another cake*

    Me: “No, that’s an orange and coconut cake. The cheesecake’s here.”

    (I show her the cheesecake, once again.)

    Customer: *incredulously*That’s cheesecake?!”

    (She eventually buys the cheesecake, but only after it taking a while to convince her it is actually cheesecake!)

    I Become Employee, Destroyer Of Air Pumps

    | Australia |

    (A customer comes into the store part of the petrol station after unsuccessfully trying to inflate his tires with our air pump that was labelled as being out of order.)

    Customer: “I can’t inflate my tires.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. The air pump is broken at the moment, and we’re waiting on the technician to repair it next week.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I need to inflate my tires!”

    Me: “Sorry, there’s not a lot I can do. We have small cans of air, but they’re quite expensive and are only meant for emergencies.”

    Customer: “This is the third station in this area I’ve been to today with a faulty pump!”

    (Suddenly, the customer narrows his eyes at me.)

    Customer: “This can’t be a coincidence.”

    Me: “Wait, are you saying I sabotaged not only our own pump, but the air pumps at several competing petrol stations as well?”

    Customer: “You must be doing something. This is outrageous!”

    Things People Say When Stalling

    | Bozeman, MT, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (I work housekeeping at a hotel. We knock and give the guest a few moments of privacy before we enter.)

    Me: *knocking* “Housekeeping!”

    Guest: “Who’s there?”

    Me: “Housekeeping!”

    Guest: “What kind?”

    Meet The New Time, Same As The Old Time

    | Israel |

    Patient: “I’d like an appointment tomorrow with the doctor.”

    Me: “How does 11:20 sound?”

    Patient: “No! I want something between 11:00 and 11:30!”

    Me: “No problem! How bout 11:20?”

    Patient: “Great, see you then!”

    Color Me Stupid, Part 3

    | Ohio, USA | Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I have a new kitten for an appointment.”

    Me: “Okay, let me get some information from you…”

    (I get a lot of information and come to the question about color.)

    Me: “And what color is the cat?”

    Customer: “It’s cream.”

    Me: “Cream and white?”

    Customer: “No, just plain cream colored!”

    (We get back to the room and I take the cat out of the carrier. It’s a black cat.)

    Related:
    Color Me Stupid, Part 2
    Color Me Stupid


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