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  • Who Needs Enemies When You’ve Got Bricks

    | New Hampshire, USA | Money, Top

    (Note: our store sells kitchen supplies, including a very popular brand of glass cookware made in USA. Usually the covers are sold separately from the actual cooking dishes, but we are having a special on display where you get a set of two dishes and their covers for 20 dollars. Not long after we open up for the day, two elderly customers walk in and look at the display.)

    Customer: “Where is this made?”

    Me: “In the United States, ma’am.”

    Customer: “$3.99, huh? I’ll take this set. Can you carry it to the register for me?”

    Me: “Actually, that set is $20. If you still want it, I would be happy to carry it to he register for you.”

    Customer: “No! The sticker says it’s $3.99!”

    Me: “That’s how much the lid costs on its own. If you turn the dish over, you will see it also has its own tag, as does the smaller dish nested inside it.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous. How am I supposed to now how much this set costs?!”

    (There is a bright red sign that says the price of the set sitting on the table. It’s literally right in front of her face)

    Me: “It’s on the sign right there, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t look at signs! I look at the product! This is false advertising! It’s fraud! You are a liar!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not—”

    Customer: “My friend bought this set for $3.99 yesterday. You don’t know that you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this set has never been, nor will it ever be $3.99. If your friend did receive it for $3.99, she was grossly undercharged by one of my coworkers.”

    Customer: “If it doesn’t cost $3.99, then the sticker shouldn’t be on there. You should take all the stickers off! No one looks at the stupid signs. They look at the product!”

    (The customer storms out of the store, almost knocking over a display of plastic floral dishes. I can see her outside the store windows ranting to a a group of younger people that I assume are her grandchildren. Meanwhile, her friend is still in the store. She picks up a mixing bowl set and brings it to the register.)

    Customer’s Friend: *smiling* “Don’t mind her, dear. She’s always been as dumb as a f***ing brick.”

    (I was speechless and she left the store before I could respond. She’s my new hero!)

    Summertime Customer Comic Roundup

    | Not Always Right Extras | Roundups

    Summer’s here and if you’re lucky, you may have some extra time on your hands!

    Check out what some of our creative, talented readers drew up in their spare time for our Extras section:

    Sh*t Customers Say
    (40 thumbs up)
    Different Faces of Customers
    (31 thumbs up)
    That’s (not) racist.
    (86 thumbs up)
    Awesome Boss
    (137 thumbs up)

    Do you like to draw? Got a funny story? Create a funny comic and share it with us!

    Technically, He Set It To Vibrate

    | New York, USA | Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (Two customers enter the electronics department.)

    Me: “Can I help you two with anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I dropped my phone in the toilet.”

    Customer’s Friend: “No, you dropped it in the sink.”

    Me: “Well, did you try putting it in a bag of rice?”

    Customer: “No, I put it in the microwave.”

    Me: “Sir, you aren’t supposed to put electronic devices in the microwave.”

    Customer: “I realize that now…it exploded after ten seconds in the thing!”

    There’s No Amounting For Taste

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work in an ice cream shop. Our chocolate shakes are made with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce, rather than chocolate ice cream.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Can I get a large chocolate shake?”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Make sure it’s not too heavy on the chocolate!”

    (I make the shake, using about half the usual amount of chocolate sauce, and hand it to the woman.)

    Customer: *doesn’t even taste the shake* “No, no, this is way too much chocolate! I needed EASY chocolate.”

    (I remake the shake, using only about a quarter of the usual amount. Again, I hand it to the customer, who glances at it without tasting it.)

    Customer: *condescendingly* “Are you even listening to me? I’m a diabetic. I can not have too much sugar! Is that really too much to ask?”

    (I make the shake a third time, this time adding no chocolate sauce whatsoever. I hand her the shake.)

    Customer: *tastes her chocolateless chocolate shake* “THERE, that’s perfect. Was that really so hard?!”

    Priciness Is No Object

    | Carmarthen, Wales, UK | Money

    (One day, a well-dressed customer walks into the store. She asks me for a pair of boots for a well known hiking area.)

    Me: “Well, these boots are light and flexible. They’re made with gore-tex to enable your feet to breathe.”

    Customer: “How much do they cost?”

    Me: “They are [price].”

    Customer: “Do you have anything more expensive?”

    Me: *shows her another pair* “Well, these are our most expensive pair at [price].”

    Customer: “They’re not expensive enough! My friend’s pair cost MUCH more than that, and I MUST have a pair more expensive than her!” *turns and storms out the door*

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