• A Pain In The Nugget
    (1,331 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    April 2013 Top Story Roundup

    Not Always Right | Roundups

    April 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of April!

    1. Man’s Best Friend From Beginning To End (4,402 thumbs up)
    2. Instrumental In The Decision (4,124 thumbs up)
    3. A Taxing Interview (3,754 thumbs up)
    4. Moving Pictures From A Moving Story (3,310 thumbs up)
    5. Acting Like A Cookie Monster (3,164 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    How To Devalue Your Crown Jewels

    | UK | Funny Names, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Are you looking for something in particular, sir?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you sell those Chlamydia beads?”

    Me: “Uh… do you mean the Chamillia beads?”

    Customer: “Yes, why, what did I call them?”

    Me: “You don’t want to know what you called them.”

    Bigotry Does Not Check Out

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

    (A male customer cuts in line at the check-out during Black Friday.)

    Customer: “B****! Get off your lazy a** and bag my items!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You heard me! Or didn’t you? All you woman are as useless as—”

    Next Customer: “Pardon my interruption, but you do realize you wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you mother… A WOMAN? You call that useless?”

    (The customer leaves quickly, without eye contact.)

    It’s A Strange World After All

    | Orlando, FL, USA | History, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at Walt Disney World.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

    Guest: “Yeah, is Walt Disney going to be in the afternoon parade?”

    (After a short silence, I realize he’s not kidding.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but… Walt Disney died in 1966.”

    Guest: “What!? Then is his brother in the parade?”

    Me: “No, sir, his brother is dead, too.”

    Guest: “Then one of his sons?”

    Me: “Walt didn’t have any sons, sir.”

    Guest: “Well then, who’s head of the company?”

    Me: “Bob Iger, sir.”

    Guest: “…then why isn’t it called Bob Iger World?”

    To Her Question You Say Neigh

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Pets & Animals

    (I work at a motoring and leisure store that sells car accessories and camping gear.)

    Me: “Welcome to [auto store]. How may I help you?

    Caller: “Hi there! I just need some help. I’m after a horse for my daughter and I was wondering if you had any white ones?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry; did you say you wanted a horse?”

    Caller: “Yes, a white one!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is an auto store; we don’t sell horses, or any animals for that matter.”

    Caller: “Of course you do; you guys are that huge blue store in the complex. I buy bird seed from you every month!”

    (I’m confused, because we are a large blue store, but we certainly don’t sell bird seed.)

    Me: “I can guarantee you we don’t sell bird seed, or horses.”

    Caller: “But you’re the blue store!”

    (I cover the phone and explain her request to my co-worker, who looks very amused. He takes the phone.)

    Coworker: “Hi, ma’am, my coworker has explained your situation to me. I believe you may be talking about [pet and garden supply store]. They are in the same complex, and they are a blue store. I assume that’s where you bought your bird seed from.” *pauses while the caller is talking* “Not a problem, ma’am, but I don’t think they sell horses. In fact they only sell fish, and pet and garden supplies.”

    (He pauses again, and puts the speaker-phone on.)

    Caller: “…and they are going to sell me a HORSE, d*** it!” *click*

    Page 911/2,517First...909910911912913...Last