Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Retort Against Those Who Extort
    (1,683 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Shh, The Neighbors Will Hear

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”

    Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”

    Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”

    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

    | Campbell, CA, USA |

    (Our gas station’s air pump is broken so we have taken both air hoses and put them under the cover they normally stick through. A customer drives up, give me his credit card, and starts to pump gas.)

    Customer: “Where are your air hoses?”

    Me: “The air pump is broken, so we don’t have the air hoses out.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (Despite what I said, the customer opens the air pump cover, pulls one of the hoses out, and goes over to his car tire and tries to put air in it. A few minutes later, he comes back to my booth.)

    Customer: “I think your air is broken. It’s deflating my tire!”

    Me: “Yes, as I said earlier, it’s broken. That’s why the hose was under the cover.”

    Customer: “Now my tire is almost flat! You are going to need to pay for a tow to another gas station.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I told you that the pump was broken. I also put the hoses under the cover. You decided to pull them out and try to use them anyway.”

    Customer: *yelling* “You should pay for my tow! If I ruin my rim driving to go get air I’m going to make you pay for it!”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    , | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”

    Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”

    Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”

    Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”

    Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”

    Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern

    Boston Illegal

    | Boston, MA, USA | Criminal/Illegal

    (A customer discovers that the price tag on an item is covering an older price tag with a lower price on it.)

    Customer: “You can’t do that. That’s illegal!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I know because I’m sleeping with a law student!”

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 6

    | Pennsylvania, PA, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (A woman comes up and gives me $2 for her daughter to print. With our computers, you need to have money in your account in order to print. The daughter prints something, then tries to print again. The mother comes up twice, complaining that nothing is coming out and that something is wrong.)

    Me: “How much is it saying it will cost?”

    Patron: “We have enough.”

    Me: “Okay, then it should print.”

    Patron: “It’s saying it’s printing, but nothing is coming out.”

    (I go over and try to print it. They don’t have enough.)

    Me: “You need to put more money on the card.”

    Patron: “Why?!”

    Me: “The prints costs more than you have on there.”

    Patron: “But she only printed once.”

    Me: “This new print costs $1.50. She already spent at least $0.70, from what I can see. You only gave me $2.”

    Patron: “So?”

    Me: “So $2 minus $0.70 is less than $1.50.”

    Patron: “I don’t get it.”

    Me: “You need to give me more money for the prints.”

    Patron: “But why?!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Page 910/2,123First...908909910911912...Last