Customer: “I came in here yesterday and ordered a chai tea and you guys gave me a mocha. That was not what I ordered!”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I apologize if somehow they got messed up.”
Customer: “Well, I want some sort of gift card or compensation. I am allergic to caffeine. It could have killed me!”
Me: “You are allergic to caffeine but you ordered a chai tea? You do realize that chai is a black tea and highly caffeinated, right?”
Customer: “I meant chocolate. I am allergic to chocolate!”
(I look down at two chocolate bars in her hand.)
Me: “Really?”
Customer: “Oh f*** you!”
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4,975 Thumbs Up!)
(I’m waiting in line after ordering a cheeseburger. Another customer is being particularly annoying.)
Server: “Your cheeseburger’s ready sir. That’ll be £2.80.”
Me: *handing over money* “Thanks.”
Other customer: “Hey! Why’s he getting his first? We were here first, that’s mine!”
Server: “He ordered a cheeseburger. They’re quicker to make than double bacon burgers. Yours will be done in a minute.”
Other customer: “I want that one! That one is mine!”
(I nod to the server, and they hand the woman the burger.)
Other customer: “This has got cheese in it! And no bacon! Are trying to rip me off?!”
Server: “You said you wanted that one rather than what you ordered.”
Other customer: “This is appalling! I’m going elsewhere. You can’t get your orders in the right order!” *slams cheese burger on van shelf then walks off*
Server, to me: *smiling* “Would you like a free bacon burger with your cheeseburger?”
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4,986 Thumbs Up!)
(A Native Canadian customer comes into the store with five small children.)
Customer: “Why do the Deluxe and the Hawaiian pizza cost the same? One has more toppings!”
Me: “To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s just the way the company works, I guess.”
Customer: “Well, can I get a discount for the Hawaiian, then? It has five less toppings!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”
Customer: *long pause* “You’re a cruel person.”
Me: “Come again?”
Customer: “Your people come here, give diseases, kill us all, steal our land, put our children in residential schools, and now this!”
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2,550 Thumbs Up!)
Customer:“Where is it?”
Me: “Where is what?”
Customer:“The bridge! The bridge over the lake.”
Me:“I’m sorry, sir, but there is no bridge over the lake.”
(The customer points to a local map.)
Customer: “There is, it’s right there! A bridge.”
Me: “Sir, that would be the state line that you are pointing at. It’s the line that separates California from Nevada. The state line.”
Customer:“Oh…so there’s no bridge?”
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1,382 Thumbs Up!)
Me: “Can I help you sir?”
Customer: “Yes do you have any books by Alexander Dumba**?”
Me: “I think you mean Alexandre Dumas?”
Customer: “Oh, is that how you say it?”
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2,055 Thumbs Up!)
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