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    Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind, Part 3

    | Texas, USA |

    (Note: I work for a credit card company.)

    Customer: “Nobody ever said anything about late fees, but I have one on my statement! How dare you charge me a late fee? Nobody told me there would be a fee if my payment didn’t get there on time!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, late fees are discussed in your cardmember agreement that came with your card.”

    Customer: “Oh, come on! Nobody actually reads those!”

    Related:
    Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind, part 2
    Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind

    We Need To Know How Long Your Word Is Good For

    | Glen Burnie, MD, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a call center where people can pay off speeding tickets over the phone with their credit card.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, can I have the expiration date?”

    Caller: “Of what? Me?!”

    Someone’s Been Sliced Down To Size

    | Sarasota, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

    Customer: “Can I have this loaf of bread sliced?”

    Me: “Absolutely. Would you like that sliced thin or regular?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know what you call it, but I want it sliced like this…”

    (He pulls slice of bread from his pocket and hands it to me.)

    Customer: “You can keep that. The wife and I couldn’t agree on how thick it was, so I thought it would be best to bring in a piece from the last loaf and let an expert look at it. ”

    (At this point I’m a little dumbfounded, and trying hard to keep a straight face.)

    Customer: “Yeah, the wife’s idea of four inches and my idea of four inches aren’t exactly the same thing, if you know what I mean.”

    (I slice the loaf of bread for the man and hand it to him.)

    Me: *laughing* “Here’s your bread, sir. Have a nice day.”

    The Elephant In The Room

    | Fergus, ON, Canada | Bizarre

    (An older customer brings up washer fluid.)

    Me: “Hi, sir, will this be all?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *whispers* “It’s good for keeping the elephants away.”

    Me: “Oh…well, have a nice day!”

    Human Interaction Is For Slackers

    | Normal, IL, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for calling [bank]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I need my balance.”

    Me: “Sure, do you have your account number?”

    Customer: “Don’t you have a phone number I can call where I don’t have to talk to a live person?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, but I’d be more than happy to check that balance for you.”

    Customer: “No, I’ll just take that other number.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s [phone number].”

    Customer: “Thanks! Now, I don’t need to talk to a live person!”


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