Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others
    (2,528 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    The DST Fairy Bids Thee Good Morning

    | Grapevine, TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Math & Science

    (I am working in guest care at a hotel. It’s the morning after “springing forward”, and a guest calls down to ask the time.)

    Guest: “What’s the current local time?”

    Me: “It is 7:45 AM.”

    Guest: “Then why does my clock say that time already? Did you send a maid into my room while I was sleeping to set my clock forward?! That is just unacceptable!”

    Me: “Sir, the rooms all have atomic clocks that are automatically set by satellite signal.”

    Guest: *click*

    Don’t Have A Cow, Man

    | Finland |

    (I work in a shoe store. A customer comes over to me with a pair of shoes.)

    Customer: “What material are these shoes made of? Are they made of leather?”

    Me: “No, they are synthetic.”

    (According to my boss, we don’t need to know the exact formula, just that a pair of shoes is synthetic or leather, etc.)

    Customer: “Synthetic? What exactly does that mean? So, they’re not leather?”

    Me: “No, they’re not. Synthetic means they’re artificially made and not of leather or any other naturally occurring material.”

    Customer: “Uh-huh. But are they leather?”

    Me: “No.”

    (Customer takes the pair of shoes away. Two minutes later I see her talking to my coworker with another, similar pair of shoes in her hands. This new pair is clearly made of same material than the previous one.)

    Customer: *to coworker* “Synthetic, I see. But are they made of leather?”

    On A Power Trip

    | Maryland, USA | Crazy Requests

    (I work nights in a call center. Tonight, I am taking calls for a company that handles electric repairs for farm equipment and generators. Since they have “Electric” in their name, we get a lot of calls for people trying to reach the power company. It’s about 2 AM.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. Can I help you?”

    Caller: “I ain’t got no ‘lectric.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “What you gonna do ’bout it? My son has asthma; he can’t be without air conditioning!”

    (Note that it’s about 50 degrees outside, so it’s not hot at all.)

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that as well, but this isn’t—”

    Caller: “He’s turning blue!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you should take him to the emergency room right away!”

    Caller: “They ain’t got no power either!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can see the hospital from my office window. They appear to have power.”

    Caller: “Listen, you! We have no power and my child is sick. You need to do something.”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve been trying to explain, this isn’t your electric company. This is a a generator company for farm equipment. I’m pretty sure you have the wrong number. If you are concerned about the child, I urge you to take them to the hospital or call 911!”

    Caller: “If you came into MY restaurant to eat, got sick, and called to complain, I would fix the problem. I wouldn’t tell you to go to the hospital!”

    Me: “Ma’am, at this point, I really feel you are being needlessly antagonistic. I’ve told you that you have the wrong number and there’s nothing I can do for you. If you don’t want to take him to the hospital and he needs air conditioning to breathe, I suggest you take him outside. It’s only 50 degrees out—”

    Caller: “Did you just call me evil?! I’ll have your job for this! I’m recording this call, you little b****! And when I find you–”

    Me: “All of our calls are recorded, ma’am. If you continue to threaten me, I will contact the police. You have the wrong number. Good night.”

    (She calls back at least a dozen more times, continuing not to listen, refusing to believe she has the wrong number, or that there is power at the hospital.)

    You Attitude Is Just Peachy

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me. How much are your peaches?”

    Me: “We don’t have peaches at the moment, ma’am, sorry.”

    Customer: “Yes, you do.”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we don’t. Do you mean the nectarines? They’re 5.99 a kilo.”

    Customer: *snaps* “I know what nectarines look like, missy.”

    Me: “All right. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate that, but peaches aren’t in season right now. There are none around. Sorry.”

    Customer: “Does your boss know you talk to people like this?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I haven’t done anything wrong. Maybe if you show me what you’re talking about, then I can help you.”

    Customer: “The peaches! I want to know how much the peaches are! It’s a simple question!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are no peaches in this store. Just…please show me what you’re talking about.”

    Customer: “FINE.”

    (The customer takes me to the store front and points at a display.)

    Customer: “THESE!”

    Me: “Those are mangoes.”

    Un-bare-ably Competitive

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (It’s the end of the day at the grocery deli. Most of the other customers have left. I am just about to start closing up when a last customer walks up. He is wearing oversized glasses and mismatched clothing, as if he hasn’t done his laundry in a while.)

    Customer: “Hey, you closing up?”

    Me: “I’ve got enough time for ya! What do you need?”

    (He orders and I begin preparing it.)

    Customer: “So, how is that job?”

    Me: “Nothing really to complain about, other than the occasional weird customer—”

    Customer: “You know, I’m pretty weird! You want to see how weird I am?”

    Me: “No, sir, that’s all right, I was just—”

    (The customer proceeds to pull down his pants right in the middle of the store and does a little victory pose. I’m so dumbfounded I almost cut myself on the slicer.)

    Customer: *pulling his pants up* “I bet you haven’t met anyone weirder than that yet, have ya?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I most definitely have not.”

    Page 905/2,163First...903904905906907...Last