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    It Pays To Be Patient

    | Calgary, Canada | Awesome Customers, Money, Technology, Top

    (I am a waitress. One of my customers has just finished eating and is using a debit card to pay for his meal. The machine automatically includes a step giving the option to include a tip.)

    Customer: “I don’t understand technology. This machine isn’t working. It won’t let me leave a tip!”

    (The machine clearly gives three options: Leave a tip in a dollar amount, a percentage amount, or skip the tip.)

    Me: “Well, sir, you have three choices: a dollar amount, a percentage amount, or no tip. To choose one, press the button directly underneath it on the screen, and the machine will take you to the next step.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He proceeds to type in a dollar amount, but the machine does nothing since he has not chosen the dollar option.)

    Customer: “It still doesn’t work! They made this machine far too difficult to use!”

    Me: “Okay, well, I’ll just explain your options to you again…”

    (This time, I physically point to each of the three buttons as I explain the difference between the three options.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He again proceeds to type a dollar amount without choosing an option.)

    Customer: “The machine doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, if you want to add a tip as a dollar amount, press the first button there labelled ‘$’. The machine will take you to the next step, and then you can enter the amount you wish to leave.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (He still doesn’t get it. I end up explaining about 7 more times until he finally pushes the button to proceed to the next step.)

    Customer: “Oh… well, that was easy! I don’t know why it took so long for me to understand that. Thank you for being so patient. I’m going to leave you $1 for every time you had to explain it to me!”

    (He ended up leaving me a $10 tip. His meal had only amounted to $25. Definitely one of the best customers I’ve had!)

    How About We Show You The Door

    | England, UK | Hotels & Lodging, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I overhear this as I’m checking in to a hotel in England.)

    Guest: *with an American accent* “You chauvinistic pig! I can open doors by myself, you know!”

    Employee: “Madam, I’m the doorman…”

    Taxing Faxing, Part 10

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at a hotel, which often requires that paperwork be sent to us to verify credit cards and the like. On this particular occasion I am working with a customer whose assistant is out of town and she clearly has no idea what she is doing. Having sent me the wrong paperwork, I call her back.)

    Me: “Ma’am? It appears that we have received the wrong paperwork, so if you could just fax the correct one we will be able to get everything set up for you.”

    Customer: “Okay, but can you just fax that back to me, then?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Those papers! If they’re wrong, I need them back. Send them back to me!”

    Me: “Uh… ma’am, that might be a bit redundant, but I’d be more than happy to destroy the copy—”

    Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID? DON’T DESTROY THEM! THAT’S THE ONLY COPY I HAVE! JUST FAX THEM BACK!”

    (It dawns on me that this customer thinks that her fax machine actually manages to somehow transport the entire paper through her machine to mine.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the fax machine sends me a copy of the documents. If you check your fax machine, you will clearly see the paperwork still laying there. It doesn’t take your original.”

    (I hear a frustrated sigh as she slams the phone, and then muttering and shuffling as she goes through her office. After a minute, she comes back to her phone.)

    Customer: “…sorry.” *hangs up quickly*

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 9
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    50 Clichés Of Grey

    | Darlington, UK | Crazy Requests, Top

    Customer: “I want this book banned! It’s offensive and crude!” *slams a copy of 50 Shades of Grey onto the counter*

    Employee: “I’m sorry you find it smutty sir, but—”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s just poorly written.”

    Employee: “Fair enough, I suppose. You do realise that we can’t just ban books for that?”

    Customer: *grins sheepishly* “I know, but it was worth a try.”

    Your 911 Is Not A 2-For-1

    | Stamford, CT, USA | Transportation

    (A customer walks into the security office with a parking ticket in her hand.)

    Customer: “I got this parking ticket even though I paid the meter. The meter still had time on it!”

    Security Officer: “Ma’am, would you mind if I see the ticket?”

    (The customer hands the ticket to the security officer and he reviews the ticket.)

    Security Officer: “Ma’am, it says here you were issued the ticket because you were parked in two spaces.”

    Customer: “Of course I parked in two spaces. I didn’t want anyone parking next to me and scratching my Porsche!”

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