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    Weekly Roundup: Dog-Gone Customers!

    | Not Always Right | Pets & Animals, Roundups

    Dog Gone Customers! This week’s roundup features dog owning-customers whose behavior has gone to the dogs!

    1. Beverly Spills Chihuahua (2,884 thumbs up)
      A fast food customer’s attempt to sneak her dog in under her shirt leaves her soaked and una-pee-ling!
    2. Bow-Wow Bigotry (1,536 thumbs up)
      Proof paws-itive that discrimination still occurs, no matter how many legs (and tails) you have.
    3. Nip-Picking (3,028 thumbs up)
      A “ticked”-off owner gets a crash course in doggy anatomy!
    4. Bestial Superiority Complexes (1,830 thumbs up)
      If this bigoted bow-wow’s owner doesn’t like bad breeding, they should look in the mirror.
    5. Wait…You Can Do That? (4,174 thumbs up)
      A customer mistakes the local kennel for an all-you-can-dog buffet!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Fool Service

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Customer: “How much is it to blow this picture up to 10×12?”

    Me: “Well, it would have go to onto 11×17 paper, so there would be a $3 service charge, and then copies would be—”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay $3 last time!”

    Me: “Oh, so you left it with us for longer than an hour? Then it will be a $2 service charge—”

    Customer: “No! I didn’t pay $3 or $2 last time! They blew it up for me and it was only $1!”

    Me: “They did it for you for only $1? The only way you could have paid that price is if you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Yes! We did it in self serve! There was no $3 fee!”

    Me: “Right, self-serve doesn’t have a fee, because you are doing it yourself.”

    Customer: “But I want YOU to do it for me.”

    Me: “Well, if you want me to do it for you, then I would have to do it in full-serve and charge you the $3.”

    Customer: “I didn’t pay no service charge last time!”

    Me: “Because you did it in self-serve.”

    Customer: “Ya! I want to do it there again!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you said that you wanted me to do it for you?”

    Customer: “Yes! Do it for me in self-serve!”

    Me: “Well, I can’t do it for you in self-serve. I can certainly show you how it works, but I can’t go out and just do it for you.”

    Customer: “Why not?!”

    Me: “Because it’s self-serve. I can definitely help, or answer questions, but if you don’t want to do it at all, I have to do it in full-serve.”

    Customer: “But I want you to do it in self-serve!”

    Fast Makes Her Furious

    | Devon, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I approach a table with an elderly couple. Note that it is always the elderly woman that speaks.)

    Me: “Two gammon steaks?”

    Elderly Woman: “No.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the order was for this table. I’ll just go and check again…”

    (They ignore me. The other tables around them are either eating or haven’t ordered yet. I didn’t take their order, so I may be wrong. I check. It is definitely their table. I go back.)

    Me: “I’m sorry to bother you again. What did you order?”

    Elderly Woman: “I ordered two gammon steaks.”

    Me: “I just brought those meals to your table, ma’am, and you said they weren’t yours.”

    Elderly Woman: “I just wanted to sit and enjoy my glass of wine before I ate any food. Is that too much to ask?!”

    Me: “Of course, I will inform the chef and bring your food out to you later.”

    Elderly Woman: “You know what? I don’t even want it. Take it off my bill. I just want this wine. What kind of restaurant serves food to people in under fifteen minutes?!”

    Chide Should Go Before The Fall

    | Israel | Family & Kids, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (A kid is running around with a toy gun until he falls down and breaks it. His mother grabs it and approaches me.)

    Mother: “I would like another one of this.”

    Me: “No problem, but I need you to pay for the one you broke.”

    Mother: “That’s insane! He broke it in your store! That means it’s your responsibility!”

    (I point to a huge sign behind me that says, ‘You Break It, You Buy It.’ I have never seen anyone run that fast!)

    Water You, Dense

    , | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m working the front counter. A customer comes inside carrying one of our large cups of soda. She pushes past several other customers who are waiting in line and slams the cup down onto the counter.)

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru and they f***ed up my order yet again! It’s not that hard, so I don’t know why you idiots can’t handle it.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. What were you missing?”

    Customer: “Nothing! It’s my drink! I ordered a large Diet Coke with the ice on the bottom.”

    (She rips the lid off of the cup. As one would expect from any soda currently obeying the laws of physics, the ice is floating on the top.)

    Customer: “What does that look like to you?!”

    Me: “Well, it looks like the ice is floating on the top.”

    Customer: “Exactly! You’re going to dump this out and remake it, with the ice on the bottom this time!”

    Me: “I’m not sure that’s possible. Ice floats, ma’am. I can’t make it stay on the bottom of the cup.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? Just put the ice in the bottom of the cup.”

    Me: “But when I fill it with soda, the ice is going to float up to the top anyway. It’s just how it works.”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just make it work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, maybe I’m just not understanding you. If you could just show me over at the self-serve drink station, I can tell everyone else how to do it properly next time.”

    (The customer storms over to the station and empties her cup. She proceeds to fill the cup with ice, casting me smug looks over her shoulder, and then dispenses soda into the cup. When it is full, she looks down at the cup in disbelief. The customer dumps out her soda and makes another attempt. After three or four tries, she finally caps the cup again and walks out of the store, avoiding eye contact with me.)

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