November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

They Handle Suits For A Living

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Top

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my jacket. The ticket number is [number].”

Me: “Let me check…”

(Upon checking the ticket, I realize that the jacket has been left two years ago. This most likely means that it’s since been donated to charity, or auctioned off. According to the state law, after being unclaimed for six months, clothing can be donated to charity or sold off to recoup the losses.)

Me: “I’m going to go check if we have it in the back. I’ll be back in a minute.”

(Sure enough, it doesn’t exist.)

Me: “It looks like we don’t have your jacket anymore, since it was left here two years ago and has never been claimed.”

Customer: “What do you mean it’s not here anymore?”

Me: “Since your jacket had been left here two years ago, it was probably donated or auctioned off by the previous owner.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be. Go back there check again.”

(I go into the back again, but come out empty handed.)

Me: “Nope. We don’t have it anymore. Sorry.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! You guys can’t just get rid of my clothes like that! It’s an expensive jacket! Do you know how much that jacket cost me?”

Me: “Actually, yes, we can, according to the law, cited in section 399-BB. Any clothes left unclaimed for more than six months can be donated to charity or sold off.”

Customer: “Nuh-uh! You find my jacket, or I’ll call the police!”

Me: “I said it before and I’ll say it again: your jacket is not here anymore. I’d love to find your jacket so we can resolve this issue, but I can’t.”

Customer: “It cost me $800!”

Me: “I wish I could help you, but I can’t since it’s been disposed of by the previous owner.”

Customer: “I’ll sue you! I’m going to the small claims court and suing your a**!”

Me: “So, let me put it into perspective: you leave your precious $800 jacket here, come back out of the blue after two years, and then threaten to sue us, even though the law in this case, which was created specifically for situations like this, states that we aren’t responsible for unclaimed clothes that have been left at the premises for more than six months? Not to mention the fact that we have absolutely no recollection of this, since our family took over the store just a couple of months ago?”

(Due to the inability to provide a rational response, the customer proceeds to flip out. Eventually, the police are involved after the customer made the phone call, and an officer is dispatched. I explain to the officer what has occurred, as well as the law regarding the matter, and he sides with us. The customer ends up leaving empty-handed.)

It’s A Bad Sign When They Have A Bad Sign

| VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Money

(I work at a large department store where there’s one sale a week on average. Because the sale prices are usually the same, our signing team leaves old signs behind the current ones so they don’t have to reprint every sign every time our prices change. Most customers don’t even think to look behind the visible sign, and those who do understand that the price they can see is the current price. A customer brings up a piece of one of our top brands of luggage, and a sign taken out of the sign holder.)

Customer: “Hi, this sign was behind a sign that said they were full price, but the dates include today. Can I get it for half off?”

(I look at the bottom of the sign, and see that in light gray print over white says ‘121912 12513’.)

Me: “Those are just identification numbers, but let me check the price for you.”

(I bring the suitcase to a register and scan it. Just as the sign in front says, it rings up full price.)

Me: “The sign is up for the sale that starts next week.”

Customer: “So I can get it half off, right?”

Me: “Unfortunately not, ma’am.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s half off.”

Me: “You said this was behind a sign that gave the full price, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Manager: “So let me get this right: you pulled apart one of our signs, found one that isn’t current, and want that price?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what the sign says!”

Me: “We can hold it for you until the sale starts.”

Customer: “No! I have to take it to Atlanta tomorrow! I want the price the sign says! Can’t you just give it to me early?”

Me: “If I did that, I could get fired.”

Customer: “So…?”

Me: “It’s full price.”

(The customer leaves, muttering about false advertising.)

Modem Warfare

| NY, USA | Technology

(I’m a tier-one tech support rep for internet issues. I receive a call from a customer who is very angry, because his internet still isn’t working, despite multiple calls and field tech visits.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

(The customer begins a tirade of how inept my company is, including everything that’s been done so far. I begin basic troubleshooting as per policy, which doesn’t get the customer back online. I’m about to schedule another field tech to go out the customer.)

Customer: “This is great! You’re too f****** stupid to fix anything, and now I have to waste another f****** day so you can send out another f****** tech! Everything’s already been replaced! They replaced all the lines; I replaced the router and the modem! Why can’t you do your f****** job and fix this?!”

Me: “Did you say you have a new modem? I’m only seeing the one that was installed 10 years ago.”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Did you call to have the new modem added to your account, sir?”

Customer: “Why the h*** would I do that?”

Me: “That’s why I’m not seeing the modem, sir. We need to add it to your account so that our system knows where to send the signal.”

(I proceed to enter the new modem to the account, which results in my being able to see good signals. I have the customer try to access the internet, which is now working.)

Me: “I just want to make sure the computer isn’t remembering a website from earlier. Could you try two random websites for me so we can be sure everything’s working?”

Customer: *embarrassed* “I did; it’s fine now!” *click*

Body Language Lost In Translation

| OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Liars & Scammers, Top

(One of our new employees is dealing with a customer who is clearly angry, and is being physically aggressive and threatening. We are on the verge of calling security, but we can see that our new employee is still very calm. We hit the button when we see the customer lunge at her, despite the fact that she doesn’t react at all, and just stares at him. I run over to see what’s wrong.)

Me: “Hi there, I’m the manager. Is there a problem I can help with?”

Customer: “This white b**** won’t give me the sale price!”

(The customer waves a sale leaflet from one of our competitors in my face.)

New Employee: *still very calm* “I tried to tell him that isn’t our flyer, and we don’t even have that item, but he doesn’t seem interested in hearing that.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you b****! You just don’t want me to get this great price!”

New Employee: “Sir, I have two things to say. Firstly, that flyer is from last year—”

Customer: “How the f*** do you know?!”

New Employee: “Because, it’s for a summer sale, and it is currently February. Second, if we had that item at a great price and you wanted it but could not find it, I would do my best to track it down in-store for you. If we didn’t have it here, I would call other stores for you. The simple truth is that we don’t carry that particular item.”

Customer: “How the f*** do you know?”

New Employee: “Because, sir, it’s an adult novelty, and this is a children’s clothing store.”

(Security arrives and escorts the customer out of the store.)

Me: “I don’t know how you were able to stay so calm! You almost sounded bored! I don’t think your expression changed the entire time!”

New Employee: “Oh, I have a lot of trouble with body language. I figured out a long time ago that when I get confused, it’s better not to respond at all, because usually I laugh and it makes them angry.”

(She’s now one of our area supervisors, and is actually better at handling the rare aggressive customer we get than our security team. This is because, apparently, a person who can’t be intimidated makes people uncomfortable.)

Ironic That She Wants A RACE Car

| Barrie, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I work at a fast food establishment that gives out toys with their kids meals. This particular month, we have dolls, or toy cars. There are four dolls in the set; two are white, one is Asian, and one is black. On this day, we only have the black doll in stock.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like a different doll, please.”

Me: “Sorry, those are the only dolls we have available right now.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I can see one right there.”

(The customer points to the toy display case.)

Me: “Those are for display only, sorry.”

Customer: “Open your f****** case, and get me another doll! I don’t want my daughter playing with some n***** doll!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we really don’t have any other doll. If you like, hang on to it, and come back next week when we get our new toys. You can switch it then.”

Customer: “Not good enough; I want a manager!”

(I go into the back, and explain to a black staffer—who happens to be built like a tank—what is happening. I ask him to go up front and pretend to be the manager.)

Coworker: “My employee explained the situation. What would you like me to do about it?”

Customer: *turns red and looks completely terrified* “I’d like to switch this for a car, please?”