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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Outfoxed By The Xerox

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hello, can you get someone to make copies for me?”

    Me: “I can make copies for you, ma’am! What would you like copied?”

    Customer: *stares at me for several seconds*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: *keeps staring silently*

    Me: “What would you like copied, ma’am?”

    Customer: “OH! You want me to GIVE you the documents?!”

    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

    Generosity That Knows No Bounds (Or Much Of Anything Else)

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Me: “Would you like to make a donation to help support children are sent back to school without supplies?”

    Customer: “Oh, fine.”

    Me: “Okay, you can make a donation in any amount that you like, or you can donate a back to school kit, which has 9 essential school supplies in it. The kits are 5 bucks.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll donate a kit.”

    Me: “Great, thanks for your contribution!”

    Customer: “How long is this going to be going on for? Because this is my third time coming into the store, and I get asked every time to donate! I’m going to run out of money!”

    Me: “It’s going on ’til September, but you know, you’re allowed to say ‘No’ when we ask you.”

    Customer: “No I’m not!”

    Courage Under Fire

    | Boise, ID, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I want to make a payment on my account, please.”

    (Suddenly, the fire alarm starts screaming its little mechanical head off.)

    Me: “Sir, I apologize, but our fire alarm is going off and I have to leave the building. You’ll need to call back.”

    Caller: “I don’t give a d*** if you burn to death. You’re going to take my payment right now!”

    Me: “Not happening, sir. Please call back.” *I hang up the call*

    Manager: “Why are you still sitting there? Get out! Do you want to burn to death?”

    Me: “Well, the customer wanted me to!” *I grab my purse and run out*

    The Customer Is Sometimes Alright

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am at a sit-down restaurant at a theme park. A waitress comes up to me while I’m eating.)

    Waitress: “Are you finding everything alright, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, the food’s very good! Thank you for asking.”

    (As she is walking away, I realize I have only $20 in my wallet and no credit cards. I’m fairly young, so I don’t have a credit card and always pay in cash. Because the meal including tax is $19.05, I find out I only have 95 cents for a tip.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am…I have a question.”

    Waitress: “Yes?”

    Me: “Am I supposed to tip you? Because, I don’t think I have enough money left. You see, I only have $20, and the meal I paid for left me with only 95 cents.”

    Waitress: *smiles warmly* “Oh, don’t worry about it. The tip is already included with the bill!”

    Me: “Really? I don’t have to give you any physical tips or anything like that? Because I really thought I had to give you one.”

    Waitress: “Don’t worry about it! Like I said, tips are already included with the bill. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me! Please do enjoy your meal!”

    (She walks away with a smile on her face. A couple sitting in the table right next to me paid attention to the whole conversation.)

    Husband: “Hey, uh…excuse me, sir?”

    (I turn in their direction. He is leaning towards me with a few $1 bills in his hand.)

    Husband: “Here, take this. My wife and I overheard your conversation with your waitress. She was really nice and friendly, and we felt a little sorry when we also heard that you wanted to tip her but didn’t have the money. Please, do take this.”

    (I stretch out my arm and take their money. Using my thumb, I leaf through it and find out they are giving me $10 to tip my waitress. I am dumbfounded.)

    Me: “Why, that’s really kind of you sir, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t!”

    (The husband shakes his head in a friendly sort of way, and pushes the money towards me.)

    Husband: “No, really, I do insist that you tip your waitress.”

    Me: “Thank you…thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?”

    Husband: “You don’t need to pay me back. Honest. You both really needed it.”

    (I finish my meal, and my waitress comes over to my table to get the bill.)

    Me: “Here, take this tip. I really do want you to take it! It came through the kindness of others.”

    (She turns to all three of us; apparently, she overheard our conversation.)

    Waitress: “Thank you! I’ll go get your bill and hope all of you have a wonderful night!”

    (She goes to get the bill and I pay for the meal, getting my last 95 cents as calculated.)

    Me: *to husband* “Please, I know it’s not much, but take this 95 cents.”

    Husband: *waves me off* “No, no, I can’t. Keep the change. You’ll never know when you’ll need those coins.”

    (I try again to give my change to him, but get the same reaction.)

    Me: “Well, I know this isn’t much as well, but please have my thanks, and have a great night!”

    (I wave to them as I leave the restaurant and they wave back. I still have that receipt to this day to remind me of the kindness a couple brought to me in a tight spot.)

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