October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

The Power To Be Nice

| Houston, TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(Houston has just gone through Hurricane Ike. Power is out in many areas, but some areas have gotten their power back much sooner than others. We can see a popular burrito place has power, and cooking smoke is coming from its roof. The smell is heavenly, so we go in to order a bunch of burritos for us and our friends. After giving my order of several burritos to the cashier, I add something.)

Me: “Thank you for being open today.”

(The cashier looks at me for a moment.)

Cashier: “Could you just wait a moment?”

(He then brings the owner up to me.)

Cashier: “Repeat what you just said.”

Me: *puzzled* “Thank you for being open today.”

Owner: “I just got shouted at by some woman for not having ice for ice tea—after a major hurricane! These workers came in, even though most of them would rather be with their own families, to help us use these supplies before they spoil.”

(He then taps the cashier.)

Owner: “Their order is free.”

The Real Bread Winner

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [special loaves]?”

Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

(She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

Older Woman: “Well in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

(The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

(I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

(I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when Cashier #1 stops me.)

Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

Underwear For The Over-Aged

| Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

(A very old man is wandering around the section of the store where we display the ‘sexy’ lingerie pieces.)

Me: “Hello, sir. Can I help you find something?”

Old Man: “Yes. I’m looking for something that will lift her up and push her together up there. And I don’t want her to be covered up either. I want to be able to see everything. Do you have anything like that?”

(I try to block out the image he’s creating for me.)

Me: “Sure… let’s see what we can find.”

(I show him a few different bras, and we finally find one that he seems satisfied with, and a matching panty. His lady-friend—who is nearly as old as he is—joins us. The old man hands her the bra he picked out.)

Old Man: “Here, go try this on. I want to see if I like it or not.”

(I walk them back to the fitting room, and go to help a few other customers. The man comes back toward me.)

Me: “So, how did you like it?”

Customer: “It was great. You did a lovely job, you sweet little thing. Now I need to find her a shirt that’s nice and open so you can see everything. I’m old, you know. I just want to have fun.”

Me: “That’s… excellent, sir. Let me show you what we have.”

(After I show him a few shirts, his lady-friend emerges from the fitting room.)

Lady Friend: “Are we ready to go?”

Customer: “I think this is good. You don’t have anything like this at home.”

Lady Friend: “But all my bras are from this store! See?”

(She lifts up her shirt to show everyone in the store the bra she is wearing. I am smiling to hold back the tears.)

Me: “Ah yes, that is one of our bras. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Do you give a discount for perverts?”

Me: “No, sir, sorry about that. Have a great day though!”

Someone Needs To Treat Warhorse

| St. Cloud, MN, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals

(I work at a call center that does outbound fundraising. One of our clients is the Veterans of Foreign Wars, Department of Minnesota.)

Me: “Hello, this is [my name], calling for the ‘Veterans of Foreign Wars, Department of Minnesota’. Thanks for taking my call!”

Woman: “Wait, wait, did you say veterans?”

Me: “Yes, I was calling because—”

Woman: “I don’t need a veteran. I don’t even have any animals!”

(I can give her the benefit of the doubt for simply mixing up the words ‘veterans’ and ‘veterinarians’. But I have to wonder what she would have thought a veterinarian of foreign wars would be!)

To Speak To An Agent, Please Press Fo’

USA | Language & Words

Customer: “I couldn’ get through y’awls phone thingy, cawz it din’n understand me. Why don’ it never understaaaaaaaaan me?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Sometimes it has a hard time with accents and voices.”

Customer: “Bu I ain’ got no accen!”

Me: “Ma’am, we all have accents. Mine is Bostonian. Yours is Southern. We’re both likely to confuse computers.”

Customer: “Fayer nuff.”

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