Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,908 thumbs up)
  • Some Customers Deserve To Be Carted Off

    | New Haven, CT, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am shopping in a large supermarket. There is a young woman of Asian descent in a wheelchair, examining the ingredient list on some items. A middle-aged woman comes into the same aisle, stares blankly into space and then starts pushing the young woman’s wheelchair.)

    Young Customer: *surprised as her wheelchair is pushed* “Excuse me?”

    Middle-aged Customer: *blankly* “What?

    (The young customer’s wheelchair grinds to a rubbery halt from the brakes.)

    Young Customer: “What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Why are you in my shopping cart?! GET THE F*** OUT OF MY GROCERIES, YOU B****!”

    Young Customer: *on the verge of tears* “I-I’m sorry, but—”

    Middle-aged Customer: “What did you do to my groceries, you filthy thief?! You steal jobs from my country, and NOW you steal food?!”

    (The middle-aged customer struggles with the young customer for a few seconds. Suddenly, she shoves the young woman off of her wheelchair.)

    Young Customer: *screams*

    (Hearing the poor young customer’s screaming, a manager as well as a few other customers rush over to the aisle to help. Seeing this, the middle-aged customer freezes for a second and then tries to bolt with her “shopping cart”, but can’t push it due to the brakes. The manager takes one look at the girl on the floor, one look at the other woman’s wild expression, and then promptly tackles the woman to the ground as she tries to flee.)

    Middle-aged Customer: *hysterically* “Rape! Rape! Help! I’m being raped!”

    Manager: “Are you serious?!”

    Middle-aged Customer: *points to the young customer* “You should arrest her! She stole my job, and then she stole my groceries!”

    Manager: *fed up* “Well, I’m sure the police will be happy to hear about it!”

    Middle-aged Customer: *gets hauled off as the other customers applaud*

    Outfoxed By The Xerox

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Hello, can you get someone to make copies for me?”

    Me: “I can make copies for you, ma’am! What would you like copied?”

    Customer: *stares at me for several seconds*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: *keeps staring silently*

    Me: “What would you like copied, ma’am?”

    Customer: “OH! You want me to GIVE you the documents?!”

    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

    Generosity That Knows No Bounds (Or Much Of Anything Else)

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    Me: “Would you like to make a donation to help support children are sent back to school without supplies?”

    Customer: “Oh, fine.”

    Me: “Okay, you can make a donation in any amount that you like, or you can donate a back to school kit, which has 9 essential school supplies in it. The kits are 5 bucks.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll donate a kit.”

    Me: “Great, thanks for your contribution!”

    Customer: “How long is this going to be going on for? Because this is my third time coming into the store, and I get asked every time to donate! I’m going to run out of money!”

    Me: “It’s going on ’til September, but you know, you’re allowed to say ‘No’ when we ask you.”

    Customer: “No I’m not!”

    Courage Under Fire

    | Boise, ID, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I want to make a payment on my account, please.”

    (Suddenly, the fire alarm starts screaming its little mechanical head off.)

    Me: “Sir, I apologize, but our fire alarm is going off and I have to leave the building. You’ll need to call back.”

    Caller: “I don’t give a d*** if you burn to death. You’re going to take my payment right now!”

    Me: “Not happening, sir. Please call back.” *I hang up the call*

    Manager: “Why are you still sitting there? Get out! Do you want to burn to death?”

    Me: “Well, the customer wanted me to!” *I grab my purse and run out*

    Page 900/2,213First...898899900901902...Last