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    Must Have Really Needed That Food

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the drive thru this particular day, I have just handed a customer the last of her order and she seems a bit distracted by getting it all stowed away safely.)

    Me: “Have a lovely day.”

    Customer: “I love you, too.” *drives off*

    Keep All Your Baggage At Home

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working on the tills next to my colleague. He has just finished ringing everything up for the customer. At this point we offer bags to customers to try and cut down on the amount we use.)

    Colleague: “That will be [total]. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I’ve got one at home!”

    (After the customer paid and left, we just looked at each other trying not to laugh.)

    Lost On The Train And In Translation

    | England, UK | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I work in the ticket office at a train station. One night a customer with very poor English comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Cawidge.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, where are you headed?”

    Customer: “Cawidge.”

    Me: “Cambridge?”

    Customer: “No, I go Cawidge.”

    Me: “Can you write that for me?” *I hand him a piece of paper and a pen.*

    Customer: *shouts something in a foreign language to someone on the other side of the station, who comes running up.*

    Customer’s Friend: “He go Cawidge.”

    Me: “Yes, can you write that for me please?”

    Customer’s Friend: “Uh… Cawidge. Brummum?”

    Me: “Birmingham?”

    Customer’s Friend: *excitedly* “Yeah, yeah! Brummum! Brummum Cawidge!”

    *it suddenly clicks*

    Me: “Oh, University of Birmingham?”

    Customer: “Yeah, cawidge!”

    Me: “Sure, that’ll be [price]. In future though, don’t ask for the College, ask for University of Birmingham. Okay?”

    Customer: “Yew… nee… verse… Brummum!”

    Me: “… Yeah, that’ll do.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “[Client], your bankruptcy has been discharged. Please come by the office to pick up the final paperwork.”

    Client: “So all my debt is gone?”

    Me: “Correct, sir.”

    Client: “So, how long before I can get more credit cards?”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

    The Great Customer Disconnect

    | Mexico | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’ve been with no TV since this morning. I want to know what the f*** is happening with your service!”

    Me: “I really apologize about this issue, sir. I will be more than happy to help you by troubleshooting your system. Would you please verify if your TV is connected to the source?”

    Customer: “Do you think I am stupid? I would not be calling if the TV is disconnected and— never mind.”

    (The customer hung up. No further explanations.)

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