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    NotAlwaysRight.com T-Shirts & Buttons Have Arrived!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

    Hey Fans! Many of you have shown interest in T-Shirts and Buttons, so we’re proud to announce the Official Not Always Right Store!

    We understand that times are a bit tough, so the prices are “rock bottom” (which means we’re not making any profit) so that we could extend our thanks to you all, our awesome readers:

    • T-Shirts start at only $9.99 + shipping (USD)
    • Buttons are $2.99 + shipping (USD)

    Visit our online store and purchase your T-shirt or Button today!

    The Shape Of Things To ‘C’

    | California, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (My manager & I are working one night. A very well dressed woman in her 50s walks in.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you doing tonight?”

    Customer: “I’m doing fine.”

    Me: “What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for something for my husband. He needs something for…”

    (She motions her right hand to make it into the shape of a ‘C’.)

    Me: “He needs vitamin C?”

    Customer: “No…something for…”

    (She emphasizes the ‘C’ shape of her right hand.)

    Me: “He needs some calcium??”

    Customer: “No…you know what I mean?”

    (She’s still making the ‘C’ with her right hand, but is now widening the shape.)

    Me: “I don’t think I know what it is.”

    (I ask for my manager who has been watching us. He immediately gets what she’s asking for.)

    Manager: *points towards the male enhancements* “Ma’am, we have a wide variety of libido enhancers, but there isn’t anything to make him ‘wider’ or ‘girthier’.”

    Customer: “Aww. Well, his libido’s fine. He just needs a little more to work with. Thank you for the help anyway!” *leaves*

    Problem Exists Between Chair, Coffee, Radiator, Dishwasher, Dryer, And Keyboard

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “So, like, I poured coffee on my keyboard, then put it on my radiator to dry it out, then ran it through the dishwasher, then through the dryer, but now when I type it does funny things. Do you think the coffee could have ruined it?”

    (I have to place customer on mute to laugh for almost a minute while he elaborates on his story.)

    Me: “Yes, sir, it does sound like your keyboard has physical damage and will need to be replaced.”

    Please Contact Manufacturer For Missing Parts

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Technology

    (I work for a major cable company troubleshooting internet problems over the phone. I am not sure if the customer in this story isn’t sober or just crazy, but he definitely isn’t right.)

    Me: “All right…let’s reconnect the cables to your router and we’ll have you back up in no time.”

    Customer: *distracted* “Hey, honey? How many fingers should I have?”

    Wife: *in the background* “You have five on each hand.”

    Customer: *panicking* “Oh, God! I’ve only got four and my thumb!” *to me* “I’m going to have to call you back. I need to dial 911 now!” *hangs up*

    At A Loss Either Way

    | Ontario, Canada |

    (Note: this is an office supply store.)

    Customer: “Do you sell condiments?”

    Me: *confused* “Condiments? Like ketchup and mustard? No.”

    Customer: “No, like, plastic forks.”

    Me: “You mean…cutlery?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I guess.”

    Me: “No, we don’t sell cutlery either…”

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