Me: “Welcome to [Fast-Food Restaurant], how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ll take a number 1, 5, and 12.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be $12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

(The customer drives to the window.)

Me: “That’s $12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

*pause*

Me: “$12.09.”

Customer: “Woohoo!”

Me: “12.”

Customer: “Woo!”

Me: “09.”

Customer: “Hoo!”

Me: “12.09″

Customer: “Woohoo!”

Me: “…09.12″

Customer: “Hoowoo!”

Me: “90.21″

Customer: “Ooh-oow!”

Me: “Well played, sir.”

Caller: “You need to do something about that new surf shop. You need to shut them down.”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t just shut the surf shop down, but why don’t you tell me the problem?”

Caller: “Well, they’re very inappropriate! My teenage daughter walked by the other day, and they ‘Googled’ her!”

Me: “They ‘Googled’ your daughter?”

Caller: “Yes!”

Me: “As she walked by?”

Caller: “That’s what I’m telling you!”

Me: “Do you mean they ‘ogled’ her?”

Caller: “Same thing!”

Me: “Hi ma’am. Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “I am looking for a solar powered charger for my cell phone. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “Yep, just follow me.”

Customer: “Also can you tell me which ones can work overseas?”

Related:
The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes, Part 2
The Sun Is Such A Slacker Sometimes

(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

Me: “Hi, thanks for choosing [name of restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “You guys serve breakfast all day?”

Me: “Yes sir.”

Customer: “Do you serve pancakes?”

Me: “No, sir. Just waffles.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like waffles. Can you just make this one exception?”

Me: “Well, sir I can’t go against code and grill you up a regular pancake but I’ll tell you what: I can make you a pancake with these awesome little holes used to trap syrup on top so it cant escape off the side.”

Customer: “Really!? You would do that for me? I’ll take two!”