Foretelling Will Be The Death Of You

| Detroit, MI, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(I am managing a small bookstore, and a coworker who is usually very good at guessing what book someone wants based on minimal description comes up for help.)

Coworker: “There’s a guy on the phone, and I can’t tell what he wants. He says he’s looking for something called The Death of a Toad.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound familiar.”

Coworker: “He’s getting annoyed with me because I don’t recognize the title. Can you handle it?”

(I grab the phone. The customer sounds like a teenage guy, and he’s irritated.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “I hope so, that other girl was useless. I need Death of a Toad; how hard is that?”

Me: “I’m sorry she couldn’t help you. I see she’s looked it up in the computer, and we don’t have any records of it in our system. Is it a new book?”

Customer: “No, it’s a classic or something. I need to read it for school.”

Me: “Okay. So it’s regular adult fiction, and it’s called Death of a Toad?”

Customer: “Yeah, why is this so hard to understand?”

(I do a more general search on the computer system, looking for any book with “toad” in the title, and don’t get any relevant results.)

Me: “Is it spelled toad, like the animal? And death, like dying? I want to make sure I’m looking up the right search terms.”

Customer: “Duh, yes! Death, like death, and toad, like frog. Wait… it’s not Death of a Toad; it’s Death of Four Toads.”

Me: “That doesn’t sound familiar either. Do you have all or part of the author’s name?”

Customer: “I don’t know, some guy. Look, how hard is this? It’s Death of Four Toads by some Mexican guy or whatever, and it’s a classic! Are you completely stupid? Death. Of. Four. Toads.

(As he says this, a light bulb finally goes off in my head.)

Me: “…are you maybe looking for Chronicle of a Death Foretold?”

Customer: “Yes! Fine! It’s CHRONICLE of the Death of Four Toads! Do. You. Have. It?”

Me: “Actually, I sold my last copy over the weekend. Have a nice day!”

They Made It Through The Wilderness A While Back

| MN, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

(I am working at a restaurant that has only been open a few months. Since this franchise is new to the area, most people have never seen it before, and we often meet with newcomers. My boss often likes to call these newcomers ‘virgins’, since they have never tried our food. Two ladies walk in, one being the older mother of the middle aged other woman.)

Boss: “Welcome! Have you guys ever been here before?”

Younger Woman: “No, we haven’t. This is our first time!”

Boss: *jokingly calling to the rest of our staff* “Looks like we’ve got some virgins here!”

Older Woman: *completely serious* “Oh, not for a looong time.”

Smeagol, Medium Or Large

, | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m working a double shift. It is 5:30 pm, and I’ve been here since 8 am. I am the manager on duty.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like a large blizzard, m&m and cookie dough.”

(I make the blizzard and place it in front of him. Large blizzards are in a 21 oz. cup.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t a large and I ordered a large.”

Coworker: “That is a large, sir.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. They usually make them in this size cup.” *motions to the 32 oz. cup*

Coworker: “No, those are shakes. They don’t have m&ms or cookie dough in them.”

Customer: “They do it on the day shift all the time! I want what they give me!”

(I decide to step in, because my coworker is starting to stumble and get uncomfortable.)

Me: “Actually, sir, I’ve worked the day shift for three years now, and I’ve never seen you before in my life. Now, the large is in a 21 oz. cup.”

Customer: “Get your manager.”

Me: “You mean me?”

Customer: “Not you, your manager.”

Me: “Alright, one moment.”

(I walk in the back, and talk to myself.)

Me: “Yeah there’s guy out there that wants to talk to the manager on duty. Oh, ok… Well, I’ll go talk to him. Yes, sir? I’m the manager on duty; what is the problem?”

Customer: *takes the blizzard and storms out*

Get Scheduled Anyway

37885057

Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness!

Not Always Right | Roundups, Tourists/Travel

Weekly Roundup: Cruise Line Craziness! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about cruise ship passengers!

  1. The Vacation Of A Lifetime, Slightly Exaggerated (1,520 thumbs up)
  2. Varicose To His Wife (4,457 thumbs up)
  3. Low IQ On The High Seas (2,070 thumbs up)
  4. When Common Sense Goes Naval Gazing (3,033 thumbs up)
  5. What’s Red Or Blue And Dumb All Over (2,682 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Page 898/2,742First...896897898899900...Last