Featured:
  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
    (1,547 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Needs To See The Parenting Section

    | NY, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Top

    (Two brothers start fighting over a toy in the Children’s Room. They aren’t listening to their mother, who is trying to select books to take home.)

    Me: “If you boys can’t share nicely with that toy, I’ll have to put it away so neither of you can play.”

    Boys: “Okay, miss [my name].”

    Mother: “Thank you. They never listen to me.”

    (The boys start fighting again. I go in and take the toy away, putting it up out of reach. The boys start crying in unison.)

    Boys: “Mommy!”

    Mother: *to me* “I can’t believe you really took it away! That’s so mean!”

    (She grabs the boys and they leave. I am speechless, but now I know why they never listen to their mother!)

    Tire Of This Dispute

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

    (I am in the waiting room at a local tire place. A pickup truck squeals into the parking lot. A guy storms out and into the store. He demands a manager so he could dispute his son’s tire bill.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Guy: “My son was in here earlier today, and you overcharged him! It shouldn’t have been [first amount]; it should have been [second amount]!”

    Manager: “I quoted your son—as I do all customers—both amounts, sir. He chose the [first amount] option.”

    Guy: “No, you didn’t! He said that you only gave him the [second amount] option. That’s too much for the menial service you provided.”

    Manager: “I wouldn’t have done that, sir. I quoted him both options, and he chose the [second amount] option. He wanted, and I quote, ‘blingy-er rims’.”

    (The guy realizes that he hasn’t been overcharged, and stops looming over the manager.)

    Guy: “It just isn’t right that my boy has to use up his whole paycheck on tires! He’s a hardworking boy. It’s just isn’t right!”

    Manager: “No, sir. It just isn’t right that I should have to dock my own paycheck, just so your son can keep his paycheck intact.”

    Me: “That’s what paychecks are for, right? Paying someone for a well-deserved service and paying for necessities such as tires, right?”

    (The guy turns beet red and leaves. My manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “If he keeps squealing his tires like that, he’ll be back within the next month to get them replaced.”

    Dining Sin

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a waitress, seating a woman next to a pair of young men holding hands across the table. They are talking quietly to each other, very obviously on a date. One of the men is drastically shorter than the other, making him appear much younger.)

    Female Customer: “Well, isn’t that sweet, taking your little brother out? How old is he, 10?”

    (Customer #1 blushes and bites his lip.)

    Customer #2: “He’s 19, and he’s my boyfriend.”

    (I’m about to walk away, when the woman gasps and shrieks at me in outrage.)

    Female Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ALLOW THESE HEATHENS TO ACT LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC! YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES, YOU F*****S!”

    (Both men visibly flinch. The smaller starts pulling his hand away, blinking back tears. The taller catches it and gives him a reassuring smile. Being bisexual myself, I’ve learned how to deal with this.)

    Me: “Look at that couple over there.”

    (I point to a girl and boy, on the other side of the restaurant. They are about the same age, doing the exact same thing the other couple just was.)

    Me: “What do you think of them?”

    Female Customer: “Well, they’re cute!”

    (I point to the gay couple.)

    Me: “And if one of them was a girl?”

    (The female customer stammers furiously. She stands up, almost knocking the table over, and starts stomping away.)

    Female Customer: “I’m never coming here again! I’ll have you reported for allowing these f*****s to sin here!”

    (Luckily for me, my boss laughs in her face. He bans her from the restaurant, and calls other branches to warn them about her. The two men are incredibly sweet, and make sure to give me a twenty dollar tip. They’ve been regulars ever since!)

    Sold-Out Flip-Out

    | MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests, Technology, Top

    (We have started carrying a very popular toy line. We run out as soon as each shipment comes in.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, I’d like to pick up [newest figure in the line], for my son.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re sold out of that one right now. We have another shipment coming in tomorrow. If you’d like to call in the morning, you can check then.”

    Customer #1: “F****** ridiculous! Do you idiots think that this is a proper business model? I know that you have tons of them in the back room. You just put them out a few at a time to create demand!”

    Me: “Trust me! With how fast this series is selling, we would put them on the shelves the moment we could.”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, whatever. And they’re more expensive here than at [competing toy chain] anyway. Also, your displays are too confusing. And these video game displays are nothing but naked girls and guns! This place is disgusting! What message are you trying to send?!”

    (Another customer intervenes.)

    Customer #2: “This is a nation-wide company with thousands of stores. He’s standing behind the cash register on Tuesday night. No offense to him, but even if there was a corporate-wide toy conspiracy, does he look like he’d be in on it?”

    Customer #1: “Still, I’m just… whatever. Idiotic place!”

    (Customer #1 leaves in a huff.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t mean to imply that you’re not important.”

    Me: “Oh, you don’t have to apologize. That made my night. Would you like a free poster?”

    Causing Disorder

    | Toronto, ON, Canada. | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I have ASD—autism spectrum disorder.)

    Coworker: “What is it like to have ASD?”

    Me: “Well, it’s not that bad really.”

    (Just then, a customer walks into the chain.)

    Me: “Oh, hello, ma’am. What would you like?”

    Customer: “What’s not so bad?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just that I have ASD. I was being asked what it’s like to live with it.”

    Customer: “What!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did I say?”

    Customer: “YOU PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE HERE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have to work somehow.”

    Customer: “GET OUT! YOU ARE TOO DISABLED TO WORK!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, she is one of the smartest people I know!”

    Customer: “Bull-s***! You people are stupid! You are in wheelchairs, and drool out of your mouths!”

    (All of a sudden the customer GRABS me by my shirt, and tries to pull me out of the counter. My friend tries to free me.)

    Customer: “GET OUT! GET OUT! YOU’RE KILLING THE MARKET! GET OUT!”

    (After three minutes of useless attempts to free me, my friend calls mall security. The yelling customer is dragged away, and is banned for life.)

    Page 897/2,465First...895896897898899...Last